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07-06-2009, 12:58 AM
As bad as it may seem at the moment, I would say to just break up for the time being. I`ve been there, done that, and it didn`t really end well.
Asking someone to wait for your dream is selfish if you TRULY care about them. Just make sure you are very clear as to why you want to end the relationship. Being away from someone for a year is going to put a huge amount of stress on her (but not you, really, as you`ll be in a different environment with other things to think about and little time to become depressed.) If you come back in a year and you still feel strongly toward each other, there is going to be nothing to stop you from getting back together. In my case, I burned my bridges (so to speak) to avoid regretting things, but... I don`t think it was the wrong decision in the long run. The other party was able to get over it fairly quickly, and they were probably happier in the long run... And I was free to really think about the future without wondering if I`d be hurting them. 
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07-06-2009, 04:01 AM
Well falling in love is not a reason to give up opportunities that come once in a life time.
What you need to do is sit down with her and explain what is going on. Your hopes and dreams and how you wont be leaving her forever. If she loves you she wouldn't want to keep you from your dreams she would encourage you to do your best. This is something that would make your dreams become real. Even if you love her and leaving her behind to pursue your dreams seems like It would crush your whole being, believe me when i say that there is some love that doesn't last forever. I'm not saying you should break up or something. I'm just saying that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If she is willing to wait for you to come back it would only strengthen your bond together. It would push and test your relationship. If your really meant to be together you will find a way to work things out and work hard to make it work!!  "The ignorant are mere stepping stones on the path to enlightenment." "People can always have a judgment about anything you do. So it doesn't bother me. Everything can be strange to someone." - Michael Jackson
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07-06-2009, 04:12 AM
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If they love each other i feel they can find a way to work things out, but maybe him taking our advice might not be the answer, Sometimes you have to figure it out on your own. He needs to talk to his girlfriend and find out how she feels. They can go over the options they have A long distance relationship, break up, or move together. Im sure if they talk about it they can find what works for them. Who knows maybe she will want to go with him or maybe she would want to end the relationship because she cant deal with what is going on. I think they need to find a way to work it out together. "The ignorant are mere stepping stones on the path to enlightenment." "People can always have a judgment about anything you do. So it doesn't bother me. Everything can be strange to someone." - Michael Jackson
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07-06-2009, 07:02 AM
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In the end, it`s all just words. They`re not married, nor are they engaged. It`s not like this is suddenly calling off a wedding. If the feelings are strong enough, she`ll wait regardless of whether there is a "we`re officially dating!" sticker on there or not. And it goes the other way - if she were going to move on, she`ll do so regardless. Only with that official little title there, it will just cause pain for both sides if that happens in the end. If the relationship NEEDS to have something stopping both sides from forgetting about the other, there wasn`t much to it in the first place. A year is a very long time at that point in life. Both will be quite different individuals at the end of that year. I think it would be a much better outcome for them to get to know each other again after he comes back than trying to maintain a relationship over that length of time. And if she freaks out about the possibly temporary breakup and wants him to give up his dream, chances are that is a pattern that will continue through life. Let her free to do as she wishes (including waiting) and come back an improved individual.
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07-06-2009, 04:55 PM
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07-06-2009, 05:46 PM
Thank you all for your advice, it helps me a lot!
I agree that a year would be a really long time for her to wait, especially because I don't think she is the type to wait. Next year she will be going to university (yah, she's older) and we won't be able to see each other, maybe not even in the weekends. But even though, I don't think it will affect us that much, I'm a person who needs to have space from time to time. I think it would be the best to tell her in that period that I want to study in Japan. We see each other a lot right now and I believe she might react a bit radical (or something like that). I recall me having already said something among the lines 'I think I'll have to go to another university' and she was a bit angry and asked me 'You must be joking right?'. Ever since I didn't even dare to say 'Japan'. I will keep all of your advice in mind when I will be finally taking the step of telling her. I think that breaking up would be really hard on her. There’s a tricky side to it though. She has been my best friend for 2 years, supported me with high school (my first year at high school was a nightmare, especially ‘cause I didn’t speak the language) and broke up with her boyfriend for me (even though I wasn’t aware of it). So if I’d break up with her, I’m afraid it would ruin our friendship on the same time. I’m such a mess Well, beside that, I’ve read all the comments and I think they are all useful, so thanks! It’s so nice of you all to put time in typing down your advice and thinking of someone you don’t even know, I really appreciate it!
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07-15-2009, 11:17 AM
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And you're in high school. The odds of you ending up with your current girlfriend, like it or not, are basically nonexistent. Everyone likes to pretend they're different, but take it from an idealist-turned-realist like me, if you have a choice between chasing your dreams and a girl in high school, you go after your dreams. You will regret not chasing a dream the rest of your life. After being married to someone else for 30 years, you will not regret the one that got away when you were 17. Edit I just read your last response. Hate to tell you, man, but she's going to go off to college and have sex with many guys next year. Your relationship will not last. High school guy, college girl, separate cities? Not happening. Statistically highly improbable.
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07-15-2009, 12:30 PM
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