Advice please?

[Yoite]

I'm right now in a difficult situation. I'm having a dream, a dream who seems to be able to become reality; to study Japanese in Japan. This idea is wandering in my mind for a long time, even before I got my girlfriend.

So, my idea was to study Japanese in Japan next year, it's becoming a bit more real now because of the support of my parents. I found a university which I like and I'll probably try to go there (I have got another year at high school here). But the other side is; how on earth will I explain this to my girlfriend? I love her and I don't want to leave her and stuff; but should I give up my dream for her? I haven't told her a thing about it. My other friends already know a bit about it, but she doesn't know a thing (I'm afraid to hurt her). She once told me she wanted to travel but I don't know if this would be the moment for her (she said that it was something for when she was older). I don't believe I can drag her all the way to Japan, but I think she would go crazy if I left....(I think she would, at least the way she is now) I'm just clueless on how to prevent a disaster.

Sorry for the big story which wasn't really exciting, nor intresting but it is bothering me a lot. I can't talk about it with my friends because they don't want me to go and my parents do support me but prefer I stay too.
I'm so close on realizing this, but I seem to be so far at the same time.
Please give me some advice?

[MMM]

Opportunities like this don't come often in life. If you are really serious, then a year is not that long for someone to wait. You have the Internet and can chat daily if you want.

[Kozyra]

I think you were wrong when you have a girlfriend and you in the same time you want to go to japan...but anyway you must to tell here that you are have to travel to japan cuz you have a very important work...and tell here;..i will talk to you by chating in the net...and when you leave you will go with here...or travel to japan one year and back to your home one year....
i hope from God to end your big problem....

[crippser999]

yea i agree with MMM an opertunity to go to japan, a place to study AND the support of youre parents is a rare one. If you truly love her and she does back you two could make things work. i mean you could chat over a webcam, have diner togeth over webcam (ok a bit ambishiouse, but it could work), you could travel back and forth-spend a week back with her , then another time in the year she could fly and see you. many people have long distance relationships so i think it will work out.
-but i belive if she try's to stop you going, well you should break up and i know that might sound a bit harsh but what type of girlfreind,partner or just freind if she let you miss shuch a wonderfull opertunity.

[Salvanas]

Firstly, you're just finishing High School, so I can assure you'll find many other girls later in life. Not to mention, the chances of it being love in the first place, is slim. but this is not about that, so I won't elaborate on it much.

You have a very rare opportunity that many of us who wish to study Japanese, do not. I think many people, would agree with me when saying that "love" can wait for such things.

If I was in your socks, I'd tell her that I'm going to Japan to learn Japanese. And if she wants to break up, then I would understand, but if she wants to wait, then I'd wait too.

Love can come later in life. Live for the moment.

[mercedesjin]

I think the first step is to tell your girlfriend.

I think you two need to talk about it so that you can figure out the right answer for yourself. If, based on your conversation with her, you decide that you'd rather be with her because you think that you'll have a long future with her - then, that would be the best choice. Stay home. Japan will always be there. You'll have many opportunities to go there later in life. If you really love your girlfriend, and you think that you might love her for a while, then I wouldn't give that up so easily.

But if you speak with her and it turns out that you two aren't sure that you'll definitely have a future with each other, then maybe it's best to follow your dream. You'll have many opportunities to go to Japan later in life, but if your reason for staying isn't that important, then hell - you might as well do it now.

Ultimately, though, that's something that you should choose for yourself.

[Salvanas]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

I think you two need to talk about it so that you can figure out the right answer for yourself. If, based on your conversation with her, you decide that you'd rather be with her because you think that you'll have a long future with her - then, that would be the best choice. Stay home. Japan will always be there. You'll have many opportunities to go there later in life. If you really love your girlfriend, and you think that you might love her for a while, then I wouldn't give that up so easily.

I disagree with this. If you have a future with each other, and TRULY love each other, then waiting one year for you to live your dream is a small favour to ask. If I truly loved a girl, and her dream was to do something, I would not in anyway stand in her way. A person who is in love with you, would not ask that of you.

Not to mention, the opportunity to go and study in Japan is not something you can do everyday. Japan will always be there, aye. But the opportunity to study there, wouldn't. Later in life you have too many responsibilities. You won't have the time.

Love is everlasting. Love will still be there after a year. Dreams can dissipate in under an hour.

[ozkai]

Originally Posted by Yoite

I'm right now in a difficult situation. I'm having a dream, a dream who seems to be able to become reality; to study Japanese in Japan. This idea is wandering in my mind for a long time, even before I got my girlfriend.

So, my idea was to study Japanese in Japan next year, it's becoming a bit more real now because of the support of my parents. I found a university which I like and I'll probably try to go there (I have got another year at high school here). But the other side is; how on earth will I explain this to my girlfriend? I love her and I don't want to leave her and stuff; but should I give up my dream for her? I haven't told her a thing about it. My other friends already know a bit about it, but she doesn't know a thing (I'm afraid to hurt her). She once told me she wanted to travel but I don't know if this would be the moment for her (she said that it was something for when she was older). I don't believe I can drag her all the way to Japan, but I think she would go crazy if I left....(I think she would, at least the way she is now) I'm just clueless on how to prevent a disaster.

Sorry for the big story which wasn't really exciting, nor intresting but it is bothering me a lot. I can't talk about it with my friends because they don't want me to go and my parents do support me but prefer I stay too.
I'm so close on realizing this, but I seem to be so far at the same time.
Please give me some advice?

Good dreams are always nice.. She will follow if she wants to..

Let her go with her own feelings, not with your's.

[bELyVIS]

Go now. I had to wait a year for my wife to get her visa, it just made it better when she finally came home. Your girlfriend can wait.

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by Salvanas

I disagree with this. If you have a future with each other, and TRULY love each other, then waiting one year for you to live your dream is a small favour to ask. If I truly loved a girl, and her dream was to do something, I would not in anyway stand in her way. A person who is in love with you, would not ask that of you.

Not to mention, the opportunity to go and study in Japan is not something you can do everyday. Japan will always be there, aye. But the opportunity to study there, wouldn't. Later in life you have too many responsibilities. You won't have the time.

Love is everlasting. Love will still be there after a year. Dreams can dissipate in under an hour.

In my opinion, a relationship will be difficult to keep going for a year without seeing one another. It could be a relationship between two people absolutely made for each other - but if they don't see each other, it might be pretty difficult to keep the relationship going. I think that relationships are important for people. Anyone can live anywhere in the world - but I don't know if people can be truly happy without loving relationships. So, I kind of think it's important to consider relationships. Dreams are important, but what will a person have after they've reached the top if they decided to leave everyone behind? OP, like I said before, if you don't think that this is a serious relationship - then yeah, definitely go for Japan.

Maybe I'm mistaken, but I think there are many opportunities to go to Japan - in high school, in undergrad, in graduate school, and as an adult out of school. For example, there are many scholarships like the Ambassadorial Scholarship from Rotary that will pay for their students to go abroad. Then there are countless volunteer programs, job opportunities... the list goes on and on. I'm about to go to Japan for the third time and I'm still in college. I'm looking at this from the point of view of someone who is an adult, who is in Japan for the fifth time because of the endless opportunities, and who is wondering, "What would have happened if I'd stayed with the love of my life?"

I still think the OP needs to talk to his/her girlfriend, though, to figure if she is the love of his life and is important enough to stay with.