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-   -   dad vs. me (http://www.japanforum.com/forum/relationship-talk/26341-dad-vs-me.html)

ani 07-02-2009 10:44 PM

dad vs. me
 
o kay well im attracted to asian guys. I'm mixed with chinese, samoan, german, indian, and black. But my dad on the other hand (whos black) doesnt like the fact that im, in his words: worshiping asians. He thinks that because i love asian people and their culture, and i dont believe in god (which he does) so he thinks me liking asians so much, is me somehow idolizing them and making them my religeon(which it is'nt the case at all). i know, crazy huh?? well he also thinks that me liking asian guys is, in his words "non realistic" because from what "he" usually sees when it come to what "he" thinks asian guys go for is their own race or caucasian women. i havent seen any asian guys with other races either, but i dont think anything of it. anythings possible. i know that there is a heck of a culture difference dealing with me, and that it's going to be tough meshing the cultures and dealing with acceptance if the parents are old fashion. but it could happen right?? well pretty much i want to know if you guys think its possible or "realistic"?? i hope it is :D and give your opinon on the situation

ozkai 07-02-2009 10:47 PM

I am feeling your father's thought's that he is just worried and trying to express his opinions on you which basically means he is worried and loves you.

He wants the best for you.

If you do "find" this Asian prince and he is a decent person, ultimately your parents will warm up.

It really is just the scare factor for your parents. Just listen, respect their opinions, and silently disagree if that's what it takes to solve arguments.

ani 07-02-2009 10:55 PM

thank you!!

and i know he does, i wish he wasnt so overbearing about it.

and he reads me well and knows what im feeling when i dont say a thing.

so he automatically knows that i disagree. what about the guys parents??

ive never dated an asian guy before, what if their the old fashion kind and

disagree with the relationship. how would i deal with that??

ozkai 07-02-2009 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ani (Post 741168)
thank you!!

and i know he does, i wish he wasnt so overbearing about it.

and he reads me well and knows what im feeling when i dont say a thing.

so he automatically knows that i disagree. what about the guys parents??

ive never dated an asian guy before, what if their the old fashion kind and

disagree with the relationship. how would i deal with that??

Parents are like that. Don't forget, that started with you as a helpless baby and went of for years doing evrything for you. It can be difficult for them to break that cycle and that's a human nature thing.

The guys parents may disagree, but you need to brush that aside, and just hope that they can see the respectable person in you and ultimately appreciate that more than anything should your relationship with the guy get deeper.

You will love him for who he is, and listen to what he believes in. He must do the same for you. You must respect each other's opinion's, once again, if love is real, you will do naturally what you think is best for each other.

Ultimately, it's you and your guy that need to form the relationship first to inspire and gain the confidence of your parents.

ani 07-02-2009 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ozkai (Post 741169)
Parents are like that. Don't forget, that started with you as a helpless baby and went of for years doing evrything for you. It can be difficult for them to break that cycle and that's a human nature thing.

The guys parents may disagree, but you need to brush that aside, and just hope that they can see the respectable person in you and ultimately appreciate that more than anything should your relationship with the guy get deeper.

You will love him for who he is, and listen to what he believes in. He must do the same for you. You must respect each other's opinion's, once again, if love is real, you will do naturally what you think is best for each other.

Ultimately, it's you and your guy that need to form the relationship first to inspire and gain the confidence of your parents.

your so awsome!!

and thats what i believe as well when it comes to relationships,

with all the superficial stuff aside. but i had to take into consideration

that not everyone thinks as i do.

and once again. . . your so awsome!!

thanks for the advice ^_^

Quote:

"you see alot more without your eyes"

nobora 07-02-2009 11:49 PM

YOur dad is protective of his religion and you. If i was you Id give it a shot and see who I can find. Anythings possible!:) So dont give up!!

ani 07-03-2009 12:08 AM

tell me about it!!

and thank you very much!

he should of saw this coming anyways

i am mixed so theres no way i could pick

one race, or go by race at that, i love people for

who they are and their individuality. and i hate closed

mined racist people!!

xYinniex 07-03-2009 01:09 AM

...i think in anyone's case, if you are under 21/22

its Dad VS ANYONE you date. =)

Pike 07-03-2009 01:53 AM

I know it sounds bad but every black guy I have ever meet has had the attitude that they can screw any women they want but "their" women(as in black women) are not allowed or supposed to like anyone outside "their" ethnic background. Never been able to understand how they came to that conclusion and only got stupid looks when I told them that attitude was just plain ignorant.

nobora 07-03-2009 01:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ani (Post 741185)
tell me about it!!

and thank you very much!

he should of saw this coming anyways

i am mixed so theres no way i could pick

one race, or go by race at that, i love people for

who they are and their individuality. and i hate closed

mined racist people!!


LOL your welcome. But thats is how dads are. Once they have a daughter they want to protect them from everyything and I mean everything.


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