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orca (Offline)
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10-24-2009, 12:00 PM

Oooooh! This is a controversial question, ok so i'll giv my view and experience on it lol.

Although British born I come from an Asian(Indian) family therefore arranged marriage is common in my family and culture, tho I don't believe it right and it has no place in my life.
My mother and father had an arranged marriage and so did their parents and most of my relatives. Though I hav some cousins aunts and uncles who rejected arranged marriage and married their partner of choice.

My mother was trying to arrange my marriage 10yrs ago and I refused which led to conflict between us and further conflict when I started dating a man who wasn't an asian, they called it culture, I call it racism.
Sure things didn't work out between us and i've had boyfriends since but that doesn't mean my parents were right and me wrong to not hav my partner chosen for me, I see a failed relationship with my partner as an experience an learn from it, I hav something my parents didn't and that is FREEDOM of CHOICE. I believe as an adult I hav total rights and capability of choosing who I spend my life with, I don't believe I ever made a wrong choice because every experience teaches me more about myself my needs and wants.

For my mother however I think it was best her marriage was arranged, because she had no education and can't think for herself, to live her life with freedom and to make her own choices would be extremely difficult for her seeing as all her choices have always been made for her and she's been programmed since birth to believe that is the right and only path.
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10-24-2009, 06:29 PM

Marriage and love have no value for me, so I can agree to arranged marriage, I won't love, so it's piece of cake. In Poland we speak: do it for holy peace.



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10-24-2009, 07:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ozkai View Post
Arramged marriages are a real cultural thing.

I do however think that some cultures are absolutely disgusting forcing 12 year old girls to wed Oji san.

That happens in Afghanistan and other Muslim nations.
I Agree ..

But as far as I know that Islamic religion is based on three principals Righteousness , Fairness , and Freedom .. in Afghanistan's community and other related communities I don't think that's the real Islam ..


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10-24-2009, 10:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TyreaL View Post
I Agree ..

But as far as I know that Islamic religion is based on three principals Righteousness , Fairness , and Freedom .. in Afghanistan's community and other related communities I don't think that's the real Islam ..
The Quran seems to support underage marriage so I don't think it's an entirely cultural thing, the very prophet they worship did himself consummate his marriage to an underage child and she was his 'favorite' so it could seem normal to them to marry off young pre-puberty children.

Mohammad The Pedophile

p.s. I apologize if what I said offends any Muslims there might be on this forum, they are not offensive or intended to offend and neither is the link it is an article which is discussing underage marriage in Islam which I found informative, thanks.
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10-27-2009, 07:08 AM

In The islamic religion if by any chance an arranged marriage happened the the underage child has the right to deny or cancel the marriage without doubt ..

so your theory about the Quran and it supports the underage marriage is Wrong and about Prophet Mohammed (Peace may be Upon him ) and his wives is not true and ..

^_^

To be continued


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10-27-2009, 07:12 AM

2.4 Topics of religion and sexual orientation are not permitted.

Let`s not get this thread closed, okay?


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10-27-2009, 08:21 PM

In my culture, i'm hmong, its okay for arranged marriages... but its all about reputation. If you deny people will talk if you go for it and your life messes up... then people will talk. There is nothing that you do that will make the people stop. for me my mom is not for the whole idea of arranged marriages. so i have a choicce, but for others, being very cultural families... they tend to have no choice. all in all i'm against it.


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10-27-2009, 08:46 PM

Personally, I disagree with it. The parents aren't going to be the ones marrying the person that they are sending their kids off to, so it is not a decision they have to make. One of my grandfathers dated much, but every time he bought girls home to meet his mother, she wouldn't approve because they weren't up to her standards. In the end, he moved out of the island and to the continental US because of this and married my grandmother without consulting his mother because she obviously would never be happy with his choice of bride.

Also, some people arrange marriages for the purpose of money and prestige; they don't particularly care about their child's happiness. Once the kids get married, they don't have to worry about them, and they don't seem to pay much attention to what happens afterwards. These different ways of thinking are what causes some people to restrict who they are in a relationship with. I don't know what happened to this lady that I checked in, but she had a resident card and a document that's given to refugees.

This woman is from Iraq, a country where this sort of thing is quite common, and the people who saw the picture in the refugee document said that she certainly looked like she was running away from something(logically). Her hair was an absolute mess, and she looked exhausted. There may be many reasons for her fleeing, but I believe that besides being in a war torn country where women are abused in every sense of the word, there was definitely something else going on.
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10-28-2009, 11:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin View Post
2.4 Topics of religion and sexual orientation are not permitted.

Let`s not get this thread closed, okay?

Forgive me .. ^_^


..

if the mentality balance and the acceptance of both sides are matched , why not?

I'm not saying that it's okay but there are conditions to be determined before any arranged marriage ..


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Blac (Offline)
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10-30-2009, 07:09 AM

If i am the one to have an arrange marriage

id tried to get to know my partner then from that id decided to go for it or not

but generally speaking i think its better that way
i mean parents would usually do what is best for us right?
we should at least consider it than reject it instantly
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