Can my penpal Become My GirlFriend?

[mrBee]

Hello all i'm new.

Well i've been penpaling with this Japanese woman for about 1 year. Our relationship is awesome. And she sends me alot of postcards, sometimes gifts, sometimes photos.

I've started to feel like she's really nice and special Plus she's so pretty and attractive. She's single.

Theonly thing is that well for one, she lives in japan. Moreover, she's outgoing, travels alot and is probably talkative and lively. I'm shy and quiet.

Also, since she goes out alot and is the type that sometimes goes to bars and stuff like that I'm sure she meets guys and she probably will meet her guy that way and wants a japaneses man.

Well in the letter response i sent to her yesterday, i just threw it all out there and told her how i feel. I told her how she's special to me.

I fear she might think i'm weird and stupid and maybe she'll even end our rpenpal relationship.

I'm kinda scared of what can happen. should i?
i'm in my late 20's, she in her mid 20's

[honoraryjapanesegirl]

Nah, don't be scared...who knows? If she's the type that travels then maybe, if she feels the same way, she'll come and see you! Who knows? Life is too short to not tell people how you really feel. It's good that you told her, and even if she doesn't feel the same way, it doesn't mean your friendship relationship has to stop!
Hope it helps...
~HonoraryJapaneseGirl~

[bELyVIS]

You better meet her first. Things are different in person, maybe good maybe bad. Good luck.

[ushkana]

Good Luck. I hope everything works out for you

[redline]

This is just me, but I tend to stay away from long distance relationship. Regular relationships are just easier.

[smbx33]

wish you the best of luck!

[TalnSG]

Originally Posted by mrBee

......Theonly thing is that well for one, she lives in japan. Moreover, she's outgoing, travels alot and is probably talkative and lively. I'm shy and quiet.

Distance is always problematic, but not always insurmountable. Just be prepared for it. But the opposite nature is rarely a problem, and sometimes a good mix for each. My first husband was beginning to be withdrawn just about the time I started be more outgoing. It was more of a balance for us than a problem.

Also, since she goes out alot and is the type that sometimes goes to bars and stuff like that I'm sure she meets guys and she probably will meet her guy that way and wants a japaneses man.

Well in the letter response i sent to her yesterday, i just threw it all out there and told her how i feel. I told her how she's special to me.

I fear she might think i'm weird and stupid and maybe she'll even end our rpenpal relationship.

There is a definite potential that you will lose her to someone she meets in person first, especially with her being in Japan and having a preference for Japanese men. But preferences have a way of being put aside when the right person comes along.

Don't fret over it. Being honest may make her hesitant, or even turn her away, but whether it works out or not, you will have less to worry about. And if she is interested, the disclosure will be very welcome.

[munzy]

Originally Posted by bELyVIS

You better meet her first. Things are different in person, maybe good maybe bad. Good luck.

agree.... but at the same time, to be good, one of the two person really need to transfer in the city where you /she lives. I wouldnot feel happy if my boyfriend would live in a so distant country from me.

[CrystalDoll]

Originally Posted by mrBee

Hello all i'm new.

Well i've been penpaling with this Japanese woman for about 1 year. Our relationship is awesome. And she sends me alot of postcards, sometimes gifts, sometimes photos.

I've started to feel like she's really nice and special Plus she's so pretty and attractive. She's single.

Theonly thing is that well for one, she lives in japan. Moreover, she's outgoing, travels alot and is probably talkative and lively. I'm shy and quiet.

Also, since she goes out alot and is the type that sometimes goes to bars and stuff like that I'm sure she meets guys and she probably will meet her guy that way and wants a japaneses man.

Well in the letter response i sent to her yesterday, i just threw it all out there and told her how i feel. I told her how she's special to me.

I fear she might think i'm weird and stupid and maybe she'll even end our rpenpal relationship.

I'm kinda scared of what can happen. should i?
i'm in my late 20's, she in her mid 20's

Well, I think you were brave enough to do that. Actually, if you want to start a relationship with someone, one of you should be the ice breaker. And you were. Hehe~

I am not sure where you are from, but I think you are non-Japanese guy. I think Japanese people are quite traditional at some points. Maybe it's a sort of challenge to them to accept international relationship or marriage (Maybe I am wrong, sorry ahead). Who knows actually she likes you but she has her worry?

Anyway, I think you got a start, it was better than nothing. Otherwise, you guys might just keep in touch with the way you were. Well done, man, no matter how the result is, you were a brave ice breaker.

I wish you all the best!

[spicytuna]

It's definitely possible but as Belyvis mentioned, you should probably meet in person before you make any decisions on your part. Besides, this is a penpal, not someone you met on a singles site. (As least that's my assumption.)

I met two Japanese girls through an (email) penpal site.

The first one went really well. We were sending emails on a daily basis and eventually started talking on the phone. After a year, I suggested that she visit me in Toronto, and she did. She stayed at my place for a week and after she went back, she sent me an email asking me if I could be her boyfriend if she came over to Canada on a 1yr student visa.

The second one ended up becoming a stalker and actually flew over to Canada after I started ignoring her. I came home from work to find her sitting on my front steps. :eek