I told her i like her, dou shiyou?

Joiwu01 · (#1 (**permalink**))

I have met a girl in Japan about 1 and half month ago. Since i got back i sent/received about 3 mails every day and skyped several times.
Now yesterday i told her that i liked her, to which she reacted pretty surprised but also happy. Then i asked her if she wanted to go out with me in December when i'm going to Japan again. To that she said 'Dou shiyou' a couple of times. I told her to think about it and after that we skyped about an hour more, though it was a bit awkward..

That was more than a day ago, and since then i haven't heard from her even though i normally get daily emails. I'm not sure what the dou shiyou means.. Could it be a rejection? Or is she actually thinking it over? Should i wait for her to mail me? Should i mail her and ask her about it, or mail her casually and not talk about it?

Anyone with advice? ^^

JohnBraden · (#2 (**permalink**))

Sometimes when someone is uncomfortable with a situation, that person tends to ignore the other in hopes the situation goes away. If she doesn't respond, it could be she doesn't want to deal with the situation quite yet or ever.

Have you two had any contact since that conversation whee you told her you liked her? If not, then it could be she doesn't know how to react to it and is not responding.

I could be wrong though....

Joiwu01 · (#3 (**permalink**))

Hmm yeah, i don't know, she didn't look like she was uncomfortable with it. We stayed on skype for about 1.5 hour longer after i told her. I mean, i would have just said i had to go if i was really uncomfortable. First we were both quite silent but later she asked me to learn her some more english and it was pretty much like normal.

But of course, you may be right, maybe she is uncomfortable with it, im just wondering what i should do now..
Anyway, thanks for your answer!

MMM · (#4 (**permalink**))

I am guessing she isn't looking for a long distance relationship. She probably likes you as a friend, and likes the idea of a friend who lives overseas, but may not be interested in dating a guy who is only in Japan a couple weeks a year.

spicytuna · (#5 (**permalink**))

I find that with Japanese girls, actions speak much louder than words.

Mostly because they won't say "No" unless they're out of options. Instead, they'll come up with an excuse as to why they can't meet you or talk to you or they'll suddenly become unreachable.

Do-shiyou of course means, "What should I do?"

By her lack of correspondence, it's obvious that she feels a little uncomfortable.

Just give her some breathing room. If you don't hear from her in a week, you can send her a quick email asking her if she's ok.

Joiwu01 · (#6 (**permalink**))

I'm glad she hasn't become unreachable ^^ I waited and she mailed me pretty soon telling me she didn't have an answer yet and that she wanted to be friends until then.

So i guess that's a polite way to turn me down? Like i'd rather just be friends. Or does she seriously not know and wants to think about it? :S

I said that i would like to be friends and keep in touch like we used to and that i don't want to pressure her or something. I will go to Japan in a few months again and she still wants to meet me