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Eriku (Offline)
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Does my Japanese friend likes me? - 11-23-2011, 05:00 PM

Hello all!

I have known this Japanese friend of mine during an exchange between Japan and Singapore(Feb 2011) and I had like her ever since then. She went back shortly afterwards and came back to Singapore in late March for her studies in Singapore.

I remembered I asked her out for a dance concert in late April and she was very interested. Although she had plans on that day, she shared that she wanted to watch the concert. It was a magical date with her. Throughout dinner, we had a great dialogue session and we got to know each other so much better

Well, she truely enjoyed the concert and was very happy. I told her that I will send her home as it was a long 1hr journey back. She said it is alright as she had reached home at midnight before. But I persisted on and she happily said ok. Upon reaching her home, I was kinda embarrassed and told her that I hope she had a great time. She replied that she had and sent me off at the lift. Upon my journey home, I really really wanted to sms her saying I had a great time with her. Then, i received her sms! She said she had a wonderful time and thank me very much for sending her home, saying I'm so gentlemen and there are no men in Japan who is as gentle as me. I was touched and replied that there are many men out there who are more gentle than me. She replied saying that I was the 1st person to ever send her home, thanking me again and wish me a wonderful holiday and a gd nite! Honestly, I have never received such reply from a girl before!!

Knowing I have impressed her, I took the initiative to meet her. Because of her busy schedule with her Eng classes, we were not able to meet so often. We watched movies together with her friends, attended gatherings together, etc. We sms but she her reply was late and she will reply saying so sry for replying late(probably busy); but there were instances that she will reply instantly. She never really took the initiative to sms me, it was me who always initiated though..

We never really talked on the phone unless she called to tell me she will be late or find out where I was during our meet up. Whenever I found her, she will turn around and say Ahhhhh with her mouth wide open, but it was a very happy expression There was once she turned up quite late for a movie and she was very apologetic and offered to send me to the train station after the movies to repay her lateness. Her Japanese girl friend who was accompanying her said she have to change money, so she left the two of us alone. I dunno if it was intentional or not, but we walked very slowly to the station talking along the way. As we bid our gd bye and I tap my card to enter the station, I turned around and notice her walking slowly away but she was looking in my direction, searching for me with a slightly worried expression. When our eyes met, we waved goodbye

There were so many more instances of our meetings, through the recent exhibition(we were narrators), etc. It was as recent as last sun and I noticed something very different. She was speaking to her other 2 Japanese girlfriends and she occasionally glance towards my direction. Sometimes, her friends will also look towards me during their conversation. Since they were speaking in Japanese, I couldn't understand a word. But I have a feeling that her friend was edging her to confess to me?? coz at e corner of my eye, i noticed her friend pushing her gently towards my direction. But I guess she was too shy as she backtracked quickly and hide behind her friend haha

I have already prepared a written letter of my confession to her, but have yet to pass it to her. As she will be leaving Singapore nxt month, I will want to let her know how I feel about her

So after the long explanation, does my friend really like me in a special way or just friends?
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vikkaboo (Offline)
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11-23-2011, 05:14 PM

I think she might really like you, especially if she called you a gentleman. It may not seem like a big deal to men, but girls really appreciate manners and kindness. If she made the effort to send you a sms right after your date, then that's definitely a good sign.

How long have you guys known each other, or how many times have you guys been out together? A confession might be too soon (mind you, I don't know how long you guys have been "together" so the timing might be appropriate).

All in all, I think she really does like you, and it seems like you really like her!
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yyt789 (Offline)
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11-23-2011, 06:36 PM

So after reading your almost 3 pages essay after double spaced, I think you should ask her that yourself. If this is your first time confessing to a girl, ask her to a normal date like you always did, but tell her that you have something special to say to her. That way she knows that you want to confess, and if she likes she will accept the date, or else she will find excuse to avoid hurting your feelings. I think it's better than writing 3 pages letter saying how much you like her.
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JohnBraden (Offline)
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11-23-2011, 07:03 PM

Written letters of declaration are for sissies.... Say what you have to say face to face.... At least give her that much. She deserves to hear it not read it.
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Eriku (Offline)
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11-24-2011, 10:56 AM

Thank you all for your replies! The reason why I choose to write a letter was because I know it will be embarrassing for both of us. She is very friendly and joyful but at the same time she can be shy and a little reserved when with me.

@vikkaboo: I have known her for abt 9 mths already. She will be flying back to Japan nxt mth and will be staying there for at least 3 yrs or so. So I really don't want to miss the chance to tell her how I feel you know, so i feel a letter will be better to express(in case she don't feel the same way)

My letter is not about those things like "I can't live without you.. blah blah", but rather reaffirming my encouragement for her to achieve her dreams that she shared with me. Of course, I also wrote that it is perfectly alright if she don't feel the same way and still be friends.

But thanks for all your replies! I hope it turns out well
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MMM (Offline)
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11-24-2011, 05:12 PM

I think you are creating a perfect situation to never hear from her again. If she felt strongly toward you, you would know it.

Many women travel outside of Japan to study for short periods of time. They often are not looking to fall in love, but inevitably someone falls in love with them. It doesn't sound like she is fighting to stay in Singapore. That translates to, she is not looking for a serious relationship with you.

If you want to maintain any sort of friendship with her, keep your mouth shut and keep looking.
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JohnBraden (Offline)
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11-24-2011, 05:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eriku View Post
Of course, I also wrote that it is perfectly alright if she don't feel the same way and still be friends.
So you are declaring you have feelings for her, or else why would she not be friends with you if all you're doing is offering her encouragement? Do yourself a favor and don't do a thing. You'll be better off not holding a torch for her (hoping she reciprocates your feelings), and just seeing her as a friend. If you want to risk everything, then talk to her; having her read a letter is too childish and immature....
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tawaradani (Offline)
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Don't think her mind! - 11-24-2011, 07:43 PM

Most important is your Love!
Declare your Love! Take it easy!
Japanese girl is tend to have a crush on foreign people!
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spicytuna (Offline)
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11-24-2011, 10:15 PM

Japanese girls in general are pretty hard to read because they'll hardly say anything negative. They'll always be ladylike in front of you and will always find a way to avoid the word, "no".

For someone who isn't used to them, it can be easy to mistake tataemae with affection.

Sending her off with a letter will give her the opportunity to respond with something vague like, "I'm very happy that you feel that way" or "I hope we can meet again soon". (Which in my experience are both negative responses.)

I know it's too late but you should have told her your feelings in person. Otherwise, she'll probably keep you guessing for the next 3 years.
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JohnBraden (Offline)
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11-24-2011, 10:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by spicytuna View Post
Japanese girls in general are pretty hard to read because they'll hardly say anything negative. They'll always be ladylike in front of you and will always find a way to avoid the word, "no".

For someone who isn't used to them, it can be easy to mistake tataemae with affection.

Sending her off with a letter will give her the opportunity to respond with something vague like, "I'm very happy that you feel that way" or "I hope we can meet again soon". (Which in my experience are both negative responses.)

I know it's too late but you should have told her your feelings in person. Otherwise, she'll probably keep you guessing for the next 3 years.
Or if she's uncomfortable with it, she'll just stop responding. That is also a way of saying she's not interested in pursuing the situation any further. Yet another way to say "no"....
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