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Did my Japanese roommate have a thing for me? -
12-22-2011, 01:42 PM
After my roommate left, I started thinking about when she used to talk to me. I think she wanted me to take her on a date, but never said it was supposed to be a date:
Okay, I had this roommate from Japan, and I was showing her around because she's new to the area. I've taken her shopping for food and random stuff she needs, like shampoo and blankets. I'm also her landlord, so I knew that I definitely should not try to put he moves on her. I was helping her out so much because she was from a different country and I've known a lot of foreign students, and wanted to make sure she had all she needed for school. One night, after my friend/other roommate went to work and I was working on my computer, she walked up to me and asked if I could take her out somewhere that night. It was past 10 pm. I said/ "Sure," and finished up what I was doing and left with her. She was pretty dressed up and was wearing a decent amount of make up. She had enough on that it seemed like she wanted it to be a date. She always wore makeup, but this was more than she ever put on when just going to Target or school. Thinking about it, she must have dressed up hoping that I would go take her somewhere or the people she was going to go with cancelled and she settled for me because she was bored. (At the time, I thought it was the latter.) We went to a restaurant that served Boba Tea and she insisted on paying. I tried to pay, but she wouldn't give up. (Could have been the whole "inviter always pays for invitee" thing.) We sat next to each other on a couch and we talked for at least 45 minutes. I did most of the talking, because she kept asking about me and kept probing for more details. I did ask her a lot about herself, but she seemed more interested in talking to me. She seemed to be paying a lot of attention and was really interested in talking to me. After we finished the drinks, I was planning on heading back home, to get more work done, but she wanted to walk around a couple blocks and I talked to her about the area and we talked about each other. This was downtown, so I talked about some of the buildings and events that went down there. This would be considered the slow, romantic walk around town on a first date if there was flirting going on. She never really touched me and wasn't walking so close to me that we were constantly touching each other, but it really seemed like she wanted it to be a date. I don't think she was flirting with me - she didn't say anything sexual, but she was paying a lot of attention and if it were a date, there were the opportunities for me to be physical. As for paying for the food, I told her earlier that week that I was in a very bad position financially, so she even brought that up when trying to pay for it. So, do you think she actually wanted it to be a date or did she just want to spend time with a friend? ---------------- A couple other things happened, and the seemed like she was trying to get me to get close to her. An example is she set her computer down on the coffee table and sat under it, and had me help her with her homework. It seemed like she wanted me to sit under it with her and bump into her. I helped her with some homework right before when we were sitting at the table, and we were talking and having fun. When I didn't sit next to her, she stopped acting like she was enjoying my company and wouldn't even look at me sitting on he couch next to her. She seemed really stressed out from that point on. I was telling her about weird stuff from Japan that are famous in the US, and we talked about the maid outfits. She said that she had a costume and could have her parents send it over in the mail so I could give it to my girlfriend. I didn't have a girlfriend and never mentioned having one before then. Another thing is she brought up her ex boyfriend from a couple years back a bunch of times in the conversations over a two week period. ---------------- Anyways, after the night we went out and when we studied for five hours, she never spoke to me again until she moved out this past week. So, what do you think? If she was interested in me, it could have been because I was the first guy she knew and I was bending over backwards to help her out. It wasn't until she moved out that I realized this could be the reason why she stopped talking to me, because I kind of saw myself as like a father helping his daughter go to college - I was trying too hard to help her out. There's more to the story, but this is a lot in and of itself. ------------------------- EDIT: I forgot to say that I was 21 at the time and she was 26. 
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12-22-2011, 03:41 PM
Girls try to be close to the guys they like and not move out. I think your reading too much into it.
For example, she might have got the wrong impression that you liked her and were working hard to please her. Her guilt of taking advantage of you is why she moved out and the 'date' was her way of thanking you for your help. 
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12-22-2011, 04:05 PM
Quote:
She moved out because the way she acted was exactly the same that my own flesh and blood, my brother, did the year prior, and I just couldn't take it. I basically forced her out by knowingly talk about my disdain for her and about how it was a mistake to let her live in my house when she could hear me. I thought the "date" was just her way of thanking me, but the last week she talked to me, she showed genuine interest in me as a person, so I thought in the very least we would at least be able to say one sentence to each other a couple times a week. But, yeah, a huge reason why she left was because she turned me into an emotional wreck by opening up my depression-like feelings of how my brother, whom I worked so hard to help out, abandoned me as family and a business partner. I was definitely the reason why she left.
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12-22-2011, 06:21 PM
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A good chunk of the population likes to be companied, just because she wants to hang out doesn't mean she wants you in any romatic ways....
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12-22-2011, 07:18 PM
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The thing is she stopped talking to me completely after these events. The only other times something like this has happened with me is when I (sometimes accidentally) turned down girls in high school and college. I only came up with this hypothesis and started rethinking about the past when trying to figure out why she stopped talking, and now that's she's gone, it seemed like a burden was lifted from my shoulders. I was assuming that she didn't want me in romantic ways, especially because she was hanging out with other people and not me just for fun. I thought she only asked me to take her out because her friends cancelled on her. Before the time she asked me to take her somewhere, we never spent any time outside the house together, and I never expected to.
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