Am i just a friend?

Jessi0406 · (#1 (**permalink**))

Hello everyone!

I have a small question. I am from london and I met this japanese guy online and he is really nice. When we started writing he was in london for a language course so we met twice (for afternoon tea and cinema). He was very sweet and friendly but very very shy.
It wasn't dates we had (at least he didnt say so) but payed for me for all what we did.
After he went back to japan we continued writing and he told me about how he disliked his work and so on.
One time he wrote: "Communicating with you gets me to feel relief and your messages always help me."

Also i am visiting japan soon and when i asked him if he had ever seen a musical he said no and then shall we go?
And he told me he wanted to pay for me as well.
Apparently taking me out for some japanese sweets.

Are these dates? I completely don't get it because when i joked and said you could be my bf he said: i am not suitable for you because of my english and so on and that he's just too shy????

Does he like me or not because i will probably not get an answer and he shouldn't pay for me all the time if I'm not even his girlfriend.

thatkid · (#2 (**permalink**))

Just keep going on "dates" with him, and see what happens next. There isn't any real way to tell if your just providing discounted English lessons, or an actual friendship. That is something only you can determine. As an after thought, maybe try and find out a little more about his life. Make sure going to see him isn't your only goal in traveling to Japan.

Jessi0406 · (#3 (**permalink**))

but are these even dates? he never said its one.

thatkid · (#4 (**permalink**))

I don't think labeling it a "date" really matters. If he's someone you have fun with, then roll with it. If you have feelings for him, try and figure out if he feels the same way. But don't have expectations of this guy. Odds are he's probably all weird and just as conflicted about the relationship as you. Try to simply enjoy yourself and see what comes of it.

RadioKid · (#5 (**permalink**))

His behavior is polite. I'm not sure if he has hot passion hiding behind the politeness (it is often seen in Japan).

I have never been in romantic situation with foreign girl because of the unreliable, unstable communication ability of my own. It is very difficult for Japanese boys to lead foreign girl in romantic mood in non-native language.

Ask him if he has girl friend other than you. Tell him your situation and watch what happens.

NiaSama · (#6 (**permalink**))

Dear Jessi I'm crossing the finger for you I really hope that you could live a nice story with him. Gambatte!
Japanese guys are so cute .... *blushing*

nash2589 · (#7 (**permalink**))

He might be mature enough not to say anything that might *scare* you.

Just continue each other's company and see where this "friendship" takes you. Don't rush things but as what Radiokid said, you should ask him if she has a girlfriend.

Good luck