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Originally Posted by JesseYuki
Naoko, hmmm... I can see what you mean, perhaps some American woman can be a bit 'brash' (I am English, don't know if that would make much of a difference in Japan - all westerners are westerners, is that right?) but I do consider the opinion that women should be polite, diminutive and 'cute' sexist. Being 'cute' at all times cannot possibly be the nature of all Japanese women, indicating they are making a special effort to appear that way, in which case they're doing it only to fit in with a male ideal of what a woman should be like etc. etc. That's the sort of thing I'd have a problem with.
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You`re looking too superficially. Other women are a lot more harsh on this than men - and in reality, most women do not hold up a "cute" image all of the time. I think that a lot of normal cultural traits are interpreted as "cute" when they`re not really intended to be... Women aren`t the only ones speaking in a high voice - men do the EXACT same thing, raising their voice a tone when speaking politely. It`s not a "cute" thing, it`s just something you DO. People are generally polite to each other - that`s also not a "women only" sort of thing. It isn`t a male ideal - it`s a cultural ideal. Maybe it has something to do with male ideals in the past, but now it`s really a moot point. You`ll find just as much, if not more, bowing and "diminutive" actions among men.
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I've heard about Japanese women speaking in a higher voice that comes naturally to them to appear more girl-like and cute. Ridiculous IMHO.
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Covered this above - but... Speaking in a higher pitch indicates attentiveness and politeness. You have to make the effort to do so, whether it comes naturally or not. It shows a level of respect to the party you`re speaking to.
It is NOT a gender thing - listen to the male read announcements on the train, or to any male store clerk. They raise their pitch also.
Anyway - I AM married to a Japanese man, and have lived here with him for 10 years now.