tell me if you think this is good
 

ok so basically this is the idea for my latest manga. i just dreamt it up. about five years ago lol. so it goes like this:
its set in a dimension called OniGea so basically the plot goes like this. in the war all but ONE immortal were killed and the rest reincarnated into humans. So Z (name suggestions would be appreciated) sets out to find her kind and unite them against the oppresive Legial empire. Whos main goal is to exterminate every creature that is not human. Along the way she meets up with a half demon prince named Christian and together they set out to retrieve their forbidden past. In the end Christian is killed and Z creates the abarharaki *not stolen from escaflowne* determined not to let any one else suffer as she has. she shuts herself away from the world for centuries and no one knows who she really is but the abarharaki do their jobs and more are recruted including Sari, Myna, Rica, Cindi, Masi, Ray, Kyushin, Moca, Derek, and Ichigo. ok so i decided all the names can change. just leave me suggestions eh?.

ps go to this img to see the rough draft of the main characters
S4010028.jpg - Image - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


name ideas for Z:
fayn[new name for Z]

Story:

OniGea...once a beautiful land, now a fortress of destruction. Neighboring countries fought frightening battles against the Legial empire, but in the end it was all futile. The empire won and we were thrown into dust. Most of my kind have been reincarnated into human bodies, still with the souls of the immortals. We have Otome to thank for that. The once great queen of the immortals, Otome was beheaded by her own...well thats a different matter all together. It is a sin to hate the one from whom you were breed. So I cannot hate Otome. Yes, that is right, I am Fayn Juna Leambriose...princess of the immortal kingdom.

I remember that night so vivedly. Beneath the stars, we were one...and yet he is no more and I am here...alone. Though I am not alone I have them, The Abarharaki. The immortal Assasins, one hand dipped in the blood of others, the other lighting the way for a new world. That is our job. Some have resentment for their lot in life and just want to be normal, that is impossible. The elements within their bodies would create havok untrained. That is why I will watch for them. From the heavens I can see all that is there...and all that will be.

BOOM!

"Shit!" The silver haired beauty sat up. Her ears alert, but her eyes blinded. She felt her face and pulled away the bandage....

"Your awake." Looking over she saw the outline of a person.

"Come princess you must escape, the Empire is attacking!" the figure urged her in hushed tones.

"then they have found me...no?" The crimson eyes gleamed with tears in the light streaming from the window.

"Now do not despair, one day you will be safe, and the empire will fall!" The last was spoke with conviction, and longing.

A faded hand brushed her hair away and she was pulled into a hug, then shoved out the window...

"Now fly fayn, FLY!!!!!!" Miame, her nursemaid since the days of old yelled from the window out of which Fayn had just fell.

Feathers flew and wings as white as ivory snow extended from Fayns back as she plumeted toward the ground, with one great gust she lifted herself into the air and flew into the night...arrows surrounded her flying past and fire from guns wizzed past her ears, but still she kept her sights ahead, knowing better than to look back and see the destruction she had caused.

that is all i have for now...enjoy...
xox
Andie

I'd buy it. although Z should be changed to something cute like Hime,megami,otome ect

Question,

Why do the names need to be Japanese?


Also, this sounds like a mixture of Harry Potter and Star Wars. It's like Voldemort is in a far away galaxy.

do you have a certain suggestion? cause it would really be appreciated ^_^

the names don't need to be japanese. actually most of them are friends of mine and derived from celtic text ^_^ it helps to be irish XD

and i am a huge star wars fan and a harry potter fan but i wasn't trying to make it sound anything like that *sighs* but it may be similar in the original draft. i dunno. but ill try to make it not like them ^_^ neither actually came to mind when i was writing that, actually InuYasha came to mind lolz. so i changed it a bit so that it didnt go to that.

I like the idea, but the green font makes my eyes hurt. >__<

im sorry *blushes* i'd change it if i knew how >_<

I'm pretty sure that u can go to the bottom and press 'edit' just like in regular posts.

oooo really? O_O YAYNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I luv your idea and i make comics:D I really do. i can make your idea famous:). you have potential and i need to talk to you.:vsign:

well then feel free to ^_^ i just don't know how exactly im going to write it....i know the begging the middle and the end but nothing inbetween. thats where i get stuck....perhaps you have some ideas you could share? or give me tips?

The storys main character is an immortal. ok. let me think... If you can get your eyes on what the story is mainly about it will come to you. oh and Z, that name has got change. Maybe makani i dont know Something else. Stay cool:cool:

well that story is okay but i think you should add more there and i don't think it was a dream

well i know what its mainly about and i have all the details in my head :D but no clue how to exactly write them down....:confused: but thats life and as for the name Z...well yea it probably does have to change lol...i want a cute name but something strong as well....something that rolls off the tongue :lovecat: lol any way ^_^ laters :pompoms:

i probably should add more and it was a dream...i actually wrote the whole story down in four books unfortunately that got lost when my house burntr down so im starting all over again ^_^

How about the name fayn!!!!!

what do you mean they have to be Japaneses where did manga come from? I personally like Japanese names there so sweet i wish mine was your plain jane American name and it was Japanese i envy Japanese people and there culture having the samurai's bing so technologically ahead of me over here :mad: im moving when i graduate haha " calls best friend and says hey were going to japan " i like this idea of a new manga but to be honest iv read ones like this alot it seems like awwwwwwww can't remember the name the one with the Alter Users except your's doesn't have the twist in it well at least you didn't say it did

thats kool...and its a possibility *_*

there is a twist....believe me there is....i woont tell you that though....you'll just have to imagine till you read it ;]

What about Kanari. It is a great name.:D

Dont envy us japanese people. You what americans say sined did i spell that right?:D

....Blah....

uh-oh...blah? what is blah?

Blah means nothing. ok nothing:D lol

lol well thats a new one XD

story sounds incoomplete, as if it wouldnt make volume one unless more action was put into it, in which cas eyou can make a manga with half of its pages (unedited or edited) all fighting and shooting and erunning and punching and kicking and all that, BUT, story is what some want, action is what others want...the question is which do you want...

this isnt an action story...but yes there is gore in it if thats what your saying. this is more of a mystery/adventure story

I like dave, the japanese like the americas, unless your really old in which case you hate us for what we did in WW2 (please don't hate me if I'm wrong, but i did meet a japanese old man who wasn't kind but his grand daughter was heh heh heh). and the americas liek the japanese...so we like each other YAAAAAAY!!! i really think the idea is alot like a trigun type of thing. There are 2 gods (they dobn't have to be called gods to be gods, anything more powerful than a human and VERY scarce in number, you could call a god) and they fight for what each believes in. Same for transformers. Optimus prime, and Megatron are the same thing. one loves humans and one doesn't...they destroy each other until one stops moving and end of show...by the way, wwhat happened to the trigun series (the manga, I REALLY LIKED IT!!! ALMOST MADE ME CRY HOW HE WOULDN't KILL ANYBODY!!!)

so for you, you like mystery and adventure...okay so then where's the adventure...a comic book can actually be put into words (more words make better pictures (kinda liek a good book, it makes the picture for yo uin your head) see what I'm getting at...you have an idea, cool (there's no new story, to many humans, too much time) now flesh it out, you got the bones, now you need ligaments, cartalidge, tendons, muscle, skin, hair(hair being the side quests, kinda like clamp with tsubasa and xxxholic) I draw a ton, i also write, but i don't mix them (makes for a some scrambled ideas...you can tell when someone's writing and someone's drawing or when someone's making it up as they go along)

Well. It sounds good, just the names need to be switched around just a bit, and I think you'd be good to go! (lol, didn't know that you knew Esca xD)

my problem right now is that im stuck in the bones part....i have it all figured out in my head i just dont know how to put it onto paper....

thanx :] yea i know the names are a bit funky....i was thinking of naming the main girl Noriko...watcha think?

okay, so are you writing it down or are you doing chracter design, charater design can come whenever ...lets see...tell em the story as if it were an rpg...

I have the story completely written down, it's just getting it into a story format -_- right now it's just random jumbles and thoughts that haven't been completed....the good news is that I've written more than half the rough draft :)