JapanForum.com

JapanForum.com (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/)
-   General Discussion (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/general-discussion/)
-   -   How do you feel about online dating? (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/general-discussion/26532-how-do-you-feel-about-online-dating.html)

mercedesjin 07-16-2009 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iPhantom (Post 747546)
You're either blind, or just pulling out nonsense. I already have said a lot about relationship without sex.

And btw, are you asexual or gay? If yes, tell me. Because I'm not. If you're not asexual why do you have to bring it as a point. We're the same, talk about us straight people, not pull out other kind of people.

Why are you demanding that I tell you about my sexual orientation?

I brought up asexual human beings because they have relationships without sex. That is what we're discussing, after all.

mercedesjin 07-16-2009 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLastFortnight (Post 747558)
I don't know if a relationship without sex is possible or not, but I think love is just an idealisation or rationalisation of the sexual instinct, so without it there are no attraction between man and woman or men and men or woman and woman or whatever. Without sexual attraction man and woman would be just friends, that's why it's easy for a gay man to be friend of a woman.

Do you have a source for this opinion? Have you read articles about love being an idealization of sexual instinct? If you have, I'd like to read those articles.

Salvanas 07-16-2009 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mercedesjin (Post 747557)
Why aren't you talking about gay, asexual, or lesbian human beings? Why do you find asexuals laughable? Why is it only "mainly" the same answer, and not exactly the same answer?

Instead of trying to insult me or put me down for asking these questions, as alanX has also done, why don't you just answer the questions?

Why must I? I've read your arguments before. And all it ends up about is discrimination.

But I shall humour you, and I'll answer your questions.

I didn't talk about lesbians, gays or asexuals, because relationship wise, I have no experience. And nor do you, I presume. But, sexually, unless there are some DEEP PSYCHOLOGICAL problems, relationships all require the balance of communication/sex/love. Regardless of sexuality.

As for Asexuals, I find them laughable, because their "choice" goes against the very nature of humans. Reproduction.

iPhantom 07-16-2009 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mercedesjin (Post 747559)
Why are you demanding that I tell you about my sexual orientation?

I brought up asexual human beings because they have relationships without sex. That is what we're discussing, after all.

It is irrelevant to me or the kind of people like me. I'm straight and I cannot say the reason behind that behavior because I'm not like them, and I cannot make comparisons between me and them because they are different.

You're stating that love without sex is healthy in a straight couple based on an asexual couple relationship. That is just plain wrong.

Trinitykitty1 07-16-2009 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLastFortnight (Post 747572)
I'm not saying sex is the most important thing in a relationship, I'm just saying that without sexual attraction there are no relationship, just friendships, that's why a gay man can't have a relationship with a woman, because he doesn't feel attracted to her, it's evident.


like i said earlier its an agreement with the people in that relationship a win win 50 50 shot

mercedesjin 07-16-2009 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Columbine (Post 747554)
*eyebrow raise* Well that's a bit backwards. If you were in a gay relationship, as a man there's a strong probability you'd be having MORE sex than if you were in a heterosexual relationship.

Sex though, regardless of orientation, can be quite important. If the chemistry isn't there, ten to one the relationship won't go anywhere, and I think that's what Iphantom's trying to get at. It happens. You like someone, you kiss and quite unexpectedly, nothing.

It's a different story if you start with the spark and over the years it mellows off, but if that chemistry is never there, then there for a lot of people that does decide things to an end.

Basically, however, you can love someone sexlessly and conversely sex someone lovelessly, because the human creature is flexible like that.

I don't see chemistry as something that's just sexual chemistry. I see it as similar interests and similar personalities. I see it as something between two people who easily get excited about something - being together in the outdoors, or traveling the world together. I don't necessarily think that two people have to enjoy having sex together to have that chemistry. I think that if there's sexual chemistry, it's a result of the fact that those two people have similar personalities or enjoy being around each other.

mercedesjin 07-16-2009 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iPhantom (Post 747569)
It is irrelevant to me or the kind of people like me. I'm straight and I cannot say the reason behind that behavior because I'm not like them, and I cannot make comparisons between me and them because they are different.

You're stating that love without sex is healthy in a straight couple based on an asexual couple relationship. That is just plain wrong.

You've never been in a platonic relationship that works, and yet you so freely speak about the people who are in such relationships. You're not like them, and yet you openly speak about them.

iPhantom 07-16-2009 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trinitykitty1 (Post 747576)
like i said earlier its an agreement with the people in that relationship a win win 50 50 shot

Agreement of having no sex? Cool! Wonder what they go through when kissing goes so much intense it's very hard to resist from having sex.

That is like limiting your love.

The only couples who do that are those who have a valid reason. They don't just wake up someday and decide they should not have sex.

mercedesjin 07-16-2009 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salvanas (Post 747567)


Why must I? I've read your arguments before. And all it ends up about is discrimination.

But I shall humour you, and I'll answer your questions.

I didn't talk about lesbians, gays or asexuals, because relationship wise, I have no experience. And nor do you, I presume. But, sexually, unless there are some DEEP PSYCHOLOGICAL problems, relationships all require the balance of communication/sex/love. Regardless of sexuality.

As for Asexuals, I find them laughable, because their "choice" goes against the very nature of humans. Reproduction.

You, like iPhantom, also have no experience with being in a healthy sexless relationship - yet you also speak about the people in those relationships. Yet you won't talk about gay men, gay women, and asexuals.

Our planet is overpopulated. Why do you feel like people need to be able to reproduce in order to not be laughable? Also, do you find gay men and gay women laughable? If two men or two women are together, they also can't reproduce.

Trinitykitty1 07-16-2009 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iPhantom (Post 747581)
Agreement of having no sex? Cool! Wonder what they go through when kissing goes so much intense it's very hard to resist from having sex.

That is like limiting your love.

The only couples who do that are those who have a valid reason. They don't just wake up someday and decide they should not have sex.


no what i mean is its a 50% chance of sex in that relationship an agreement of whether to have sex or not.im not talking about limiting love that would be stupid its a choice EVERY CHOICE IS DIFFERENT WITH EVERY PERSON


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:21 AM.

Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.0.0 RC6