sperm donor. any1?
 

so. yea. sperm donor :cool:
has anyone done this? i got the idea after my friend said that he tried to become one. but he didn't since the medical check-up is very hard to pass.

so i got the idea to try it since its totally free way to get great info on your medical status - full blood test and some gene tests also. and if i pass and fate decides to take me quickly i'll be happy knowing that my genes are passed on.

back to point. has anyone hare done it? i know that in some countries there is actually a very nice money reward for that. pity it isn't the case were i live - some 50$ i think if you actually are able to pass the tests...

never done it, don't think I'll ever do it also.

Don't know why, I don't relly have anything against it, it's just the way it is for me!

I give blood though, so I always get a full blood test :)

blood donation is one way but it takes far less things into consideration. i would love to know about my genes and all that other stuff not just a list of diseases i don't or do have. blood type i already know and its contents.
it just natural to want to know more about yourself and if i could afford i would order all kinds of tests on me - full physicals, blood, brain scans and my gene tests.
think im probably going over there this week.

I believe that sperm donations have dropped since any progeny can discover who their sperm donor (father) is. Certainly in this country (UK) they have dropped.

considering how many children a sperm donor could produce-- it could be scary having several of your progeny come searching for you.

do you know your family history-- your bloodlines etc. is there any family that you can ask what physical genetics you might well inherit from them. Their general health etc as well as their interests in life.

not all genetic properties are passed down.
im more interested what's in me - is there anything interesting and also is everything ok. i almost never get sick and i dont do check-ups once in a while so who knows whats happened in past years.
well one that i know is that my whole family tree has rather large lifespans for the region.
only just now my great grandmother passed away 97 years old. all of my grandparents are in their 80's and doing well.
P.S in UK they can find you? here its the selling point (and so should it be everywhere) that is completely anonymous. of course if both parties wish to be able later on find each other then they can make a special deal, but i don't think that happens too often.

When you'll have family and children, will you tell them, that they ought to be careful when they're going on a date, because there is a chance, that they have chosen their own half-brothers/sisters? Because if you won't carry the can, you may compromise your own grandchildren' health.

IMO you're making a mistake.

as person who is well aware of how astronomical odds are im not least bit worried.
+ it wasn't so long ago when in villages everyone was sleeping with everyone - only now the gene pool has dramatically increased because of city growth and international travels. and if you take Adam and Eve theory then everyone is sleeping with their brothers and sisters.

and i'm doing this for the tests. no one says i'm going to pass, only small % of donors are actually accepted.

It used to be anonymous, but like Dogs said now its not anonymous at all. The child can very easily find out who their sperm donor is, and yes it's caused a few problems in the past, problems that made their way into the news. There's also no real incentive like in other countries, you don't get cash for donating for example, so why men opt to donate sperm here I'm not too sure. Healthcare here is free too, so there isn't even the fact that you can get free blood tests or physicals (like you mentioned earlier) to entice people into doing it.

I think it wasn't something good back than either(not that I know any of these villages...), and don't pull Adam and Eva into this, incest isn't something you'd take lightly.

On the other hand, you know best, I just tried to give you another point of view.:)

Fielo im not being snobby or anything..
it's just that those odds are so astronomical that worrying about that would be pointless. moving to other cities, countries, different social groups, accidents etc. - you have to take all that into account and you'll see its nothing to be bothered by.

P.S but those kids who find their donor fathers don't have actual rights to demand anything afterwards? its not like they are demanding some monthly fees like after the divorce one side pays for children.
what were those events that made it to news and why?

To be honest, I'm not entirely certain. The law that went through to say sperm-donations would no longer be anonymous happened when I was still in school, so I didn't pay all that much detail to remember the specifics. I'll do an internet search though and see if I can find out for you, I think that the reason why certain events made the news was because some children did try to demand child support and payments, but I could be wrong. Some of the other members like Dogs and Columbine are from the UK, and older than I am, so they might be able to answer you better :)

Edit: BBC NEWS | UK | England | London | Sperm donor to pay child support - yeah, I was right. Some sperm donors can be legally held responsible for paying child support, or they could be at the time the article was written three years ago.

Second Edit: The link focuses on a man who donated to a friend, rather than through a centre. If donated via regular routes I'm sure that the child can't actually demand anything from the biological parent, especially as they can't discover that parent's identity until they turn eighteen (I think, could be wrong).

*laughs* I honestly don't know much about it. The only thing I can offer is that one of my friends became a sperm donor for these reasons:
1) he would like to have kids but;
2) he's gay,
3) feels like there's no guarantee that a long term relationship would happen where kids would be an option and;
4) had to have a testicle removed.

I'm not suggesting this is the case for most men, but whelp... there you have it.
Or perhaps the drive to donate stems from personal experience; people are more likely to donate money to charities or give blood if someone they know has or has needed the service of those donations, perhaps the men who donate sperm despite the relatively few legal or financial incentives have personal incentives instead.

I very much doubt that since it is ILLEGAL for the center/hospital to give out that information. And finding out through DNA testing? What, you gonna have every grown-up male in your country take the test until you find one that is a match...? Not likely.

My thoughts on it, I probably wouldn't do it if I were a male. I'd find it hard to live knowing I have a kid somewhere. And ok, doning sperm doesn't make you a father for that child, but still, I couldn't live knowing there's a kid somewhere carrying my genes. I'm not against it at all, I just wouldn't do it, no matter the amount of money I got for it.

It may be illegal in other countries, but not in England. Sorry that the link is from the BBC like the one in my other post was, but I'm a bit too lazy to do a real search, lol. I think the law came in effect in 2005, but basically sperm donors no longer have the right to anonymity here.

BBC NEWS | Health | Sperm donor anonymity ends

suki.
is this the correct term? ovum ? well women can also donate those.
so its not exclusive to males :cool:
and even if i do get accepted it won't be for the money.

P.S that case were child demands something afterwards is just dumb.

Donations are still confidential in the U.S., when done through a medical facility. After the U.K. changed their laws, it was discussed here and rejected. As a result, the U.S. is one of the few countries not needing to ask for help supplying materials for fertility or research. And it is one of the countries were it is legal to pay the donor.

Personally, I object to fertility treatments in general. It's not like the human race is on the verge of extinction, so the only reason for it is emotional and stinks of vile ego issues.

But that does not mean I have any objection to donations. Genetic studies require good samplings and lot of them. And there are enormous benefits from research that have nothing to do with birthing another human on this planet.

I haven't checked out any websites on this subject.

Imagine you are a child by an unknown donor-- Is that natural--No real father in your life.

It is not natural at all. Rather similar to many who were or are adopted-- they often yearn to know their roots-- who made them the way they are.

even more so in the case of donors.


I personally hate it when some gay couples can choose shall we say-- A woman in America to donate her egg-- then use a surrogate to carry the child, donate their own sperm-- Hey presto a designer baby.


I hate the thought of using women as surrogates. She will think its okay I get paid for carrying this child that is actually an alien in my womb--

many are heartbroken when the baby is born and given to the COUPLE---

It is not easy.

when donating is anonymous-- A man can help many childless couples if one or other is incapable of having their own child.

But when a child can come calling--Looking for its BIO father-- that can scare the hell out of a fella.


none of us know what happens to many donated eggs from a female donor.


It is a huge subject to discuss.

I don't know if it IS the same though. Of course some people will want to know about their donors, but it's a slightly different situation. These weren't unwanted or abandoned children; and unlike adoptees their mother usually IS their real parent, and who's to say there was no dad.

Actually, someone I went to school with and her brother are both sperm-donor children. They grew up with two parents who have loved and supported them and have had stable, uncomplicated childhoods. I haven't really asked, but I don't think either of them have any inclination to try and find out who the donors were (even if it were possible). There's no "why didn't you want me, why did you put me up for adoption?" questions to deal with, it's less emotional. The sister in the pair likened it to to blood donation. Like, ok you have a link to the person, but on such a tiny, tiny level. They only ever knew you as gunk in a medical sample. Might be interesting to meet them, maybe say thanks for not doing it into a kleenex for once, but... then what? If anything, I think most of her curiosity about it was reversed; aimed at her parents and the situation leading up to her birth rather than who actually donated in the first place.

As for gay couples and sperm-donation; it's often the only real option for lesbian couples, so I have nothing against it. As for surrogation, I don't really know enough about it, but I don't think all surrogate mothers are coerced into it. Some are relatives of the parents-to-be, and they interviewed one lady on TV who had surrogated something like 7 babies? Her view was that she just really actually ~liked~ being pregnant and helping create new life. She certainly didn't seem reluctant or distressed about it, or seem to view her situation as her being 'used'. Maybe she's the exception, not the rule though.

Also there's a good possible reason why surrogates and egg-donors sometimes aren't the same people; it's easier to get donor eggs from the USA but there aren't as many surrogate mothers there as there are from other countries; also I would think it would be easier for some surrogate mothers (and maybe for legal reasons) if they had no genetic tie to the child.

I don't consider separate egg donors and surrogates to be 'designing' a baby either. Rejecting perfectly good foetus' because they aren't male, or blue-eyed or something, that's designing and I feel that's wrong, but there's also got to be some selective element rather than just grabbing the first sample available- you'd want your child to at least marginally resemble you or your partner.

Well columbine--- I do know that many surrogates regret.

I will talkabout this later. Giving birth-- then just passing the baby over can never be easy.


I have belonged to both adoption and Gay forums. I know how many people feel in these situations. i know how I feel not knowing who my dad is.


The programme where there two guys chose an American woman to donate her egg-- then a different surrogate-- sorry-- for me thats out of order. anyway will discuss this later.

dogsbody. i'm not talking about surrogate mothers. those people are mostly in just for the money - and they are getting paid great. but i can see some moral dilemmas for them also..
but what i said was that women can donate eggs (just like men sperm). so they are fertilized and then implanted in want to be mothers.

Being adopted myself I have really never understood the motivations of seeking out your birth parents. I was adotped at a very young age and have only ever known the parents who brought me up. What on earth are people searching for in looking for the birth parents? Did they not have a happy upbringing or something? Personally I couldn't care less the reason why I was put up for adoption and couldn't care less what sort of people they were. In Australia we can get family medical records of the birth parents without letting them know but I also have no real interest in this.

Jeez, I did not know that! Aren't you people against this law?!

Yeah I know, but the donation process is a lot different. It's a bit more complex and it hurts like you wouldn't believe. Or so they say. I haven't done it and will not do it for the resons I explained in my previous post.


That's very nazi thinking.

A real father is someone who assumes the father's role and responsabilities, not the one who ejaculates inside a woman if later on he's not gonna wanna have shit to do with the baby.

If I were a child by an unkown donor to me my dad would be the one guy who stood by my mom while she was carrying me inside of her, not the donor who I would not once try to know anything about. So, to you a man who helps a woman through pregnancy and then raises a baby and is committed to it, is not a real father? Cause the sperm that got his woman pregnant was not his? Pffft, bullshit.

ah well you seem to think you know all about it.

If you had known the number of adoptees who are desperate to know thir father or mothers-- the agony they go through.

i tis like babies who get left on door steps they do not know who they are or where they come from. There is a need to know where we come from.

You are young I wonder how much you know about this subject.


If people want children there are plenty in the care system needing homes.


You don't have a clue what you are talking about.

Can I ask you if you have parents do you know them?

I grew up without any family at all.


people can be desperate to know why they are the person they are. nature versus nurture etc.


Before you say my comments are B/S an expression I loathe by the way. you need to learn a lot more about human nature. Are you American by any chance?

this is interesting item.
Why children need to know










I

Well, I'll say it again. Having a kid doesn't make you a parent, taking care of a kid does. Agony is being stuck with a family that doesn't want you. If you're lucky to be raised by parents who didn't actually make you but who went through the whole parenting phase since day one, those are your real parents even if you don't have their genes.

There won't be such a need if you feel you belong with the people who've taken on the parent role for you. Why go looking for anyone who didn't want you in the first place? What's the point? Your real family is the one that cares for you since the very begining, not the people who put genes together and who are unwilling to take care of a baby.

I agree on that. I think adoption is a better option, but I don't see much of a difference between adoption and having sperm injected into you. It's two different ways, same result. Maybe there's women out there who want to go through pregnancy and whose partner won't be able to give them that. If I were that woman, I'd consider adoption first, but I understand some of them would rather go with the other option.

Knowing who the sperm that made you into a human being belongs to makes you the person you are? Really, you think? The process of growing up and the people around you make you who you are.

What made you think that?

Sorry to get involved in a discussion between the two of you, but I have to say I really agree with Suki on this. I also don't understand your comment on her being young, just because she's young doesn't mean that she has no comprehension of the issue being discussed, it's very naive of you to assume that she would be ignorant just because of her youth.

Anyways, I don't think surrogacy is a bad idea (in response to earlier comments), and although some women find it difficult there is a vast ammount who are able to distance themselves and have very little complications or regrets. As someone else mentioned some women who are surrogates feel happy and content able to bring a life into the world, able to give a child to parents who will love and care for it, knowing that they've given a child and its parents a chance to have a family and happiness. I did a search a while back actually in research for a novel, and you'd be suprised at how well surrogate mothers can detach themselves emotionally.

I do agree with you that sometimes its better to adopt than to go to a surrorgate, I really feel for those poor children without homes, but that said your attitude to adoption actually really irks me. You seem to think that adoption is a bad thing, that it's better to be (or at least to know) the biological parents. I'm speaking as person who is adopted (although it's a complicated matter I'd rather not get into), and as someone who knows people who are adopted. Yes, sometimes there is a curiousity and a desire to know where you are from, but for the majority your family are the people who raise you and love you and nurture you. My father is the one who put a roof over my head, who disciplined me when I misbehaved, who laughed with me when we shared a good joke - not someone who didn't care about me enough to be in my life and gave me away the first chance he got. Family is more than genetics. So I say if people want to donate sperm, adopt, foster, use surrogates etc. etc. then good for them! They can give a child a much better home than a lot of these dead-beat parents who couldn't give a crap.

Suki:
The law isn't retroactive (is that the right word?), so the first child to be able to find out about its sperm donor father won't be for another ten years or so :) I kind of have the impression that it won't be until it actually happens that people start to truly think about the effects, because right now it's rather abstract. There was a lot of criticism, from what I vaguely remember, and I can't speak for every Englishman, lol, but personally I think it's good for a child to know where it has came from if it wants to know, so in a way it's a good idea. :)

I still don't have any understanding why they should go through any agony?? If you have grown up knowing only the parents who raised you what possible motives would you have for seeking out the birth parents? I really just don't get it as I've never ever had such a need or desire to find out. What do they hope to find?

I think that babies left on doorsteps and babies born via sperm donor are in VERY different categories. It is quite a stretch to lump them in together.

I can understand the desire for an adopted child to want to know where they came from - want to know WHY they were given up, to know if they have siblings, etc.

But with a sperm donor it`s a bit odd to ask "Why did they give up their sperm?" - It isn`t quite the same as giving up a baby. There isn`t a huge sense of loss in ejaculating into a cup.

I think that the desire to know where you came from really has a lot to do with who you are and when you were given up. Different periods in time had different reasons, so for someone given up in, for example, the 40s or 50s may have been removed from a potentially loving home because the mother was unmarried. I think where that sort of possibility is very real there is naturally going to be a strong desire to find out... At the very least to clear up any fantasies.

I grew up raised by my grandparents. My mother ditched me there and basically never came back. If there hadn`t been a convenient place to leave me, there is a fair chance she would have put me up for adoption.

I can`t say whether I would want to search for my real parents if that had been the case - but sometimes it is better not to know. To me, my grandmother was my mother. I consider her that in every way. My mother gave me life and gave birth to me, but that is really about it. When she decided she needed someone to take care of the other kids she`d had in the meantime and took me back - it felt as if I was living in a strangers home... And felt that way until I was able to leave.

Having no one around who you could consider family, who you could count on would likely lead to a lot of stress, and a very strong desire to know your roots. I believe this is true in your case, Dogsbody70. But I believe it is quite different for a child who was either adopted very early into, or born into (via surrogate or sperm/egg donation) a loving and devoted family. Blood related or not, it would indeed be a family. That foundation of family support would be there in a way that would be impossible for one raised in a group home.

the thing is that I have been involved in people searching for their parent/s.


And believe me there often is a LOT of agony. even those who had a decent adoptive home often feel the need to KNOW. its human nature to want to know. when a person does not resemble their adoptive parents at all or sisters/brothers they often have a strong yearning to know-- especially about the mother.


those mothers who in the early sixities were forced to give up their babies because it was considered a dreaful sin to have a child out of wedlock. Many never got over it-- and constantly search to try to trace their adult son or daughter..


Maybe some surrogate women can shrug it off-- actually giving birth to a child meant for another couple-- but many Do come to regret it-- because having carried a child in their womb, gone through labour etc-- then just passing the baby over-- can never be easy. I know there have been women who have been a surrogate several times over--- Its usually for money--

But there are those who regret it so much.

even where it is arranged between friends who offer to help out gay couples-- it does not all end up rosy at all.


Yes there are those who do not care at all where they come from but there are plenty who NEED to know.


In the past couples who could not have their own children adopted a baby. Iwonder if they ever considered the mother who was forced to give up her baby.

It is hard to adopt a normal health baby now in UK-- so often it is children who may be disabled or not totally perfect who needs a permanent home.

We have thousands of children here in UK who are needing loving homes.

Not many couples want to take on a child that is not a baby so the children end up thrown around the so called care system. Unwanted.

There was a time in this country when an adopted child was never told that he/.she was adopted-- but that changed with the childrens Act in 1975.




we are desperate for foster carers here-- but fostering is not always easy and its not easy to find enough foster carers.

There were some kids who were fostered in America-- and some of the tales they told of their experiences were horrific.

many kids were just put onto trains and some one would collect them from the train somewhere along the line.

I believe that bringing children into the world should be something not taken lightly.

Using donors where the egg donor is chosen via the internet-- then a different surrogate-- then providing the sperm-- IS designing Babies to suit.

What happens when things go wrong and the child does not fit in with the life style of the couple who arrange to bring a child into the world.


There are so many aspects about this. it should never be done lightly.

I would feel as if I had been manufactured according to the couples whim.


Okay if all is well and the child/ren is brought up with the information many probably will be satisfied and not want to know-- but what happens when they fall out with the couple-- if it is a couple-- what does the young person do then.


Donor conceived person - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Surrogacy UK - What is Surrogacy - Legalities


this site was in 2003 so unsure how up to date it may be regarding Japan.


Here comes the egg biz: ova operations open in Japan | Japan, Inc. | Find Articles at BNET


http://ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/siteco...rogacy-leaflet

Given a case where the medical histories of the birth parents are available, I see absolutely no justification to know who they were personally.

Since when does one person's curiosity have more justification than another person's right to privacy? Beyond health issues that could impact that or the next generation, I consider releasing identities of donors (sperm, kidneys or whatever) to be an invasion and breach of basic rights. And such demands have already proven to result in unrecoverable drops in donations. If you support genetic donations, you better consider continuing to protect the rights of the donors or forget the entire concept.

From the point of view of the offspring, I have to wonder which would be worse:

Knowing only that you were the result of two people giving something of theirs so that your adopting parents could bring you into their world;

or

Knowing that you were something that your birth parents could not deal with the responsibility of having in their lives.

As for surrogates and that whole line, well back to adoptions!
Just because someone can get pregnant does not mean they should.

I think this says a lot more about your reasons for feeling this way than you realize.

You have been in contact with and helping people who are searching. Of course you`re going to be in contact much more with those who are in agony and who do feel a desperate desire to know. You aren`t going to have much contact with those who aren`t searching. More than likely they never even bring up the subject of adoption - there is no reason for them to.

I acknowledge this. Children who were given up during that period have a stronger incentive to either want to know or NOT want to know.

The key point here is not all. The majority, I believe, does end up being fine. It`s the cases where something goes wrong that are heavily publicized in the media. Of course there are some who regret it. I am sure there are jsut as many or more who regret keeping a child. Not all mothers are of sound morals. Not all mothers care about their children.

Is this a reason to eliminate adoptions and donations?
That is the true question. There are indeed people who need to know... But how does that apply to the modern situation? Now mothers aren`t forced to give their babies up. Now babies aren`t swept away and the mother told it was a stillbirth because the father didn`t want a baby.
Those sort of things should never have happened. But they do not apply so much to the current system.

Yes, because in the past all mothers were loving and perfect and never died or didn`t want their children. Think reasonably about this. Not all adopted children were ripped from the arms of weeping mothers.

I know someone who went to a lot of trouble to find her birth mother... Who was a drunk who tried to kill her baby by throwing her out the window of a moving car. On initiating contact, the woman came after her to get her to pay for "birthing fees", because she suffered by giving birth. The mother wasn`t particularly interested at all, and had hoped the baby had died.

Sometimes it is not always better to know.

There is more to not wanting an older child than just "wanting a newborn". There are a lot of major issues that come into play with an older child. Not everyone is prepared to deal with the type of emotional issues that are quite common. Because people do not have the ability to care for children with issues... They should not bother to adopt at all?

Unfortunately, there are countless people in the world who DO take it lightly. And they are NOT the ones investing huge amounts of time and money into adoption, IVF, or surrogates. They are the kind who pop kids out like the dozen for the benefits they receive, or those who abuse and abandon the children because they do not fit into their lifestyle.

Certainly nothing worse than what happens to the countless children born every day into families that do not want them or love them.

If it were something like hair color, eye color, personality traits, etc that were being chosen - yes, I could see your point.
It`s medical history that is "chosen". Would you WANT to have a child who is likely to have some sort of medical disorder if you didn`t have to? Imagine being told that if you and your partner were to have a baby - because you are both carriers of some genetic quirk - they would suffer from a horrible disorder. Would it be wrong of you to still want a child, and to choose a donor who is NOT a carrier, so that you can give the child the best chance at life?

If you were in the household from the before memory... And were treated as their child, raised entirely by them... They will not be some "couple". They will be PARENTS. They will be FAMILY.
I am sure the young person would do the same thing as all the other young people in the world do when they have a fallout with PARENTS or FAMILY.

I understand that you have not experienced it, and that in contact with those who are searching have not seen much of it... But there are countless adoptees - I would say MAJORITY - out there who feel that their adoptive parents are indeed their parents and that they are indeed family.

I am not related by blood to my husband, nor am I related by blood to his family. But I assure you, he and his family are VERY MUCH family to me. Why is it impossible to imagine a child that is not related by blood to the parents actually feeling that they are family?

ah well I have said my two penneth.

Five years editing a newsletter for the childrens society here in UK plus five years of running groups and listening supporting helping those who are searching including those former child migrants to the Commonwealth countries who knew nothing of their parents.


Yes I get very incensed at the apparent thoughtlessness of those who simply choose to pretend that wanting to know family roots is all pie in the sky.

In America many of the States will not reveal documentation to those who are desperate to know.

NO of course not every one wants to know-- but it still needs to be considered. why did the UK change the law about anonymity for donors in UK?


Anyway thats that!!! Horses for Courses and all that.