Emotion Management
 

I believe there is something seriously wrong with my emotions. They are often out of control and incredibly srtong. When I get angry or hurt mentally, I just want to destroy everything around me and scream. When I am happy, well, that is rare, but I feel euphoric. I try to be an open minded person and I thought that might help my mood swings, but I still get hurt the exact same way as before. I just feel like giving up hope and let my emotions run free and stop caring who it will effect. I feel kind of desperate to just run away and get somewhere else to start a new life. I can't stand my own skin anymore... I don't feel quite good enough.

So, any thoughts? Maybe some way to help? :confused:

Maybe you should see a doctor about this…? That would really be the safest bet. They might be able to give you a better idea what is going on and how to treat it.

I agree with Chibibug see a professional. Going from on extreme to the other can be dangerous.

Yes, I suggest a doctor as well, wild mood swings sound like the mental condition, "Bi-Polar" wich can be very serious. They have medicines that even out the wild pendulem swings.

I was thinking it sounded like bi-polar but I didn't want to offended anyone.
Hm, maybe I'm just weird.
It could just as easily just be depression though.
Yet that is still serious.

I had a cousin who was Bi polar...I say "had" because his parents where out of town when he ran out of meds and he had shot himself time they got back.
It's not something to be "offended" about anymore than someone haveing any other disease is, it can be treated.

Depression can be like that as well though sometimes that can be caused by a dietary imbalance.

Either way, the person should get it checked.

what about getting a punchbag or do someting energetic


like training for a marathon or doing work for the elderly such as gardening,

hard physical work can exhaust you. do something positive with your anger something useful, cycle, do something that will tire you out.

maybe its simple frustration. doesn't have to be bi polar.

we all get emotional at times for various reasons, i had pmt and heaven help anyone who spoke to me. i was dreadfully out of control.

i pummel cushions--but sport is a great way to use up[ that energy

I see somebody has Incredible Hulk for a dad.

Family and friends.

Talk to them if you need too.

That's actually an excellent suggestion. Excercise releases endorphins, which can help to lift one's mood. It also provides a distraction from any problems you may at the time be facing, and/or give you time to think of a solution. Pounding a cushion - as Dogs said - or even scream therapy, where you find a quiet place and scream into a pillow, could be a good release for you too.

I will still strongly suggest seeing a professional as well though. If it is bipolar disorder - whether type I or type II - then it won't go away on its own, and like others have said can be dangerous if left untreated. Bipolar isn't related to endorphins or serotonin (low serontonin being the cause of normal depression), its related to a salt imbalance within the brain, and this can only really be solved by meds. It is possible to not need the meds, and to rely on therapy and coping mechanisms, but that would be something you'd have to discuss with a doctor if you have it. I doubt any of us are doctors and no one can tell you what's wrong just through one post.

Like Ghap said to: talk to people. You'd be surprised how well talking can help :) I hope you find peace soon, in any case.

This might sound really ridiculous, but it actualy works. Smoke weed and listen to reggae music

or find an unconditional love which makes you feel really secure

They don't tend to recommend punching or screaming any more to counteract violent outburst behaviour. While tiring, positively productive activity, or neutral action (like say, digging in the garden, running, sit ups, even painting) can indeed be really, really helpful, if you're prone to lashing out physically in anger, punching can actually make you associate your negative feelings MORE with violence, so the next time your mood is triggered, you've conditioned yourself to lash out, making for a vicious circle.

Ah, I didn't realise that. Thanks for letting me know! It's been years since I did psychology, but I didn't really study anger issues, so I can't say the various methods for dealing with it ever came up. I knew about the recomendations for excercise, but the punching/screaming was more anecdotal really. That does make a lot of sense though, so I'll be sure to bear it in mind in future :)

You can also try to listen to smoothing / calming sounds when in "anger mode", sounds like sea shore, wales, forest sounds, birds singing, purring cats and so on.

I actually agree with this I mean I would recommend something healthier and ya know not illegal, but it does work reggae is actually extremely relaxing. As is marijuana but as I said, its illegal. So I would not recommended that part.

using a punch bag is perfectly safe. all this fancy psychology. GO out and do something energetic--- useful. when i was upset with no one to talk to i found that punching cushions did help. not punching people.


no doubt many fancy modern ways of thinking think differently but there'S nothing like hard physical work or exercise to wear you out.

the way some spoiled children play up with tantrums in order to get their own way.


they need to be calmed down in a firm manner with no giving in to their temper tantrums. distraction often helps dilute the temper.

much must depend on the cause of feeling anger.


i love super nanny.

you know the way i am feeling right now i could do with some relaxing substance.

those relaxation methods are okay if trying to sleep and relax not sure if they would prevent feelings of anger.

often there can be anger with ones own family. they can be the last people to go to---------------------it does depend if there has been a row in the family and the teen years can be so frustrating. we used to take in many of my sons friends when they had been kicked out by their family.


having a really good friend to let it all out can really help.


my own son was a nightmare but his mates loved coming here to chill out.


frustration can make us angry. try to consider why you are feeling angry.



my ex son in law has bi polar as does one of his daughters. they behave in an almost identical manner, either really loving and welcoming or totally ignoring everyone else,

its a tricky situation. he was also a bully towards our daughter. she put up with it for ten years---------------

I fully understand what you're saying, and it does make sense. I totally agree with the idea of excercise, and/or picking up a hobby like gardnening, as Columbine said, which requires physical effort also.

In light of what Columbine said though I do think perhaps doing something violent, such as punching a pillow or a punching bag, may be detremental to a person. It causes one to associate the violent act with the emotion of anger. It's like the experiment with Pavlov's dogs . . . whenever he served them dinner he would ring a bell, so that in the end they associated the bell with dinner, so even when he didn't feed them they would still salivate when they heard the bell regardless. I think that if you were to punch something when angry then it would condition you the same way, so when someone really does something to irk you then your first instinct may be to actually punch them too . . .

I'm not saying that this would apply to everyone, as you said you aren't violent and this method works for you, but if you had someone who's emotions are all over the place - basically unstable - as the original poster is, then is it a good idea? You have control over your emotions and can say 'I won't punch someone if I'm angry', but if the OP hasn't that control (which she admits she hasn't) then who's to say she wouldn't punch someone also?

I think a good compromise between the two might be physical sports. Boxing, martial arts, swimming etc., because then you get the excercise and the burst of something phsyical/violent to exert that anger, but at the same time you're being taught the self-control and restraint with it, and its in a controlled environment. Although this is when someone tells me that will be bad conditioning too, in which case I'm out of ideas, lol!

Man! I must be genius! I came up wit the best n' easiest solution for that HimeChan13 gurl! She needs to sit on my lap n' let my arms around her hahaha.
dun chu y'all think so? lol

I agree with what the other members have suggested so I wont rehash old comments. All I will say however is that there is no shame in taking medication or seeking help. You obviously are not happy with things the way they are right now yet they can only improve once your treatment starts. If that is what you need. You've taken the first step by opening up to us and I applaud you for being brave enough to share.

Look after yourself.

May I ask how old are you?
Your problem seems to be a rather natural thing amongst teenagers. These things come and go with hormonal changes :)
If I'm right and you're at your 16th or so, than you're pretty much all right, just have to survive the next few month or years and you'll be as good as any of us :) who survived our teenage years too :)
I know it doesn't mean nothing right now from a stranger, but ask your friends I'm sure they feel the same or very similar things like you do.
Ah and do not try out any drugs, it might sound cool or funny but is not!!! A young person with labile emotions couldn't do worst than trying out something like that. I mean it can become much worst after using drugs. Just don't go down on that road!
It really won't last forever :) drugs aren't the solutions!!!!

Have you got some plans for your future? Would you share them with us?

Sorry for the mistakes, I'm not a native speaker, but I had to say something after someone recommended drugs for you...

With all due respect, you are vastly confusing the average, manageable frustations that most of us suffer on a day-to-day basis, with an actual and debilitating problem with controlling strong emotions. The average person can very easily go whack a cushion when they're a bit mad with no problem, but telling someone who literally falls into an irrational anger so intense that they CANNOT stop themselves from physically lashing out at anything around them, to go and hit things whenever they experience stress, is like telling an alcoholic to go drink vodka whenever they feel thirsty. Exercise to dispel stress is fine, I'm not disputing that, but violent activity would be less than helpful.

Right, it's a blind rage. It's not even remotely rational; I had a class mate who suffered from it as a side effect of his depression- his aggression got sparked off at random once when he tried to do laundry and discovered they were out of laundry powder and he 'came to' (his words) straddling his brother and trying to strangle him. He was horrified; he gets on well with his brother (sibling squabbles aside) and certainly didn't wish him that kind of harm.

I think the key word is 'physical', rather than violent. Boxing and martial arts probably wouldn't be all that helpful for people with a very extreme reaction, but for some with more issues to do with say, seeking fights for no good reason or if they have only a moderate lack of control over their anger, the obedience aspect of the art and the philosophy could be a good way to refocus their intentions. Swimming's really not a bad idea though, things like cycling or even just instant sorts of exercise; My class mate used to do really fast sit ups when he felt himself getting mad until his meds got settled enough for him to control it in other ways.

my god columbine you don't half exaggerate.


i used to go for long walks to let off steam. you are writing as if its unusual to get angry.


there are too many clever clogs who changed the way we bring up our children. too many interfering busy bodies.,


god preserve me from these psychologists. kids never used to play up at school like they do today. common sense is needed.


all children need to have boundaries. you are ott with your imagination and learning to have self control.


sport or hard work is a good way to let off steam.

What do I exaggerate?

Again, I understand what you're saying, but I think maybe you have missed the point?

It is normal to get angry, depressed, or annoyed. We all experience these things probably on a near-daily basis, but the majority of these people are "normal" - for want of a better word - and can deal with these issues as they arise. You might take a long walk, someone else may write a poem, another person may rant with their friends . . .

The issue arises in problems like bipolar disorder, clinical depression, borderline personality disorder etc., these are people that may turn to unhealthy ways of coping. They might self-harm, grow violent, etc. These people - by their very nature - cannot use the same coping mechanisms as people free from these disorders, because their disorders prevent them from doing so. I think what Columbine is saying is that in these cases suggesting to punch a pillow or scream etc. is not productive, and as these people feel these things often it isn't exaggerating to say it is a severe issue.

I think you have a very valid point, but likewise so does Columbine. There's just perhaps a difference in which people these coping mechanisms are for - your ways of coping are valid, but not so for the individuals Columbine mentions, likewise Columbine's points are valid but perhaps not valid for healthy individuals.

Edit: I'm only making an assumption this is to what you referred, it's hard to be certain without a quote, so forgive me if I'm mistaken

You edited, so I'll amend; Again, what do I exaggerate? We're not talking about normal anger here. It's normal to get angry sometimes, it's is NOT normal to become so angry that you cannot control yourself. OP is not talking about normal emotions, he/she is talking about an intense emotion that is uncontrollable and irrational. This is a problem precisely because it is outside the spectrum of what is 'usual'.

Actually I think I might need anger management before I go to Japan. Particularly in the last years of school I could never quite be as happy as everyone else.

As of late my anger has been getting worse and worse
My angry thoughts have been getting more violent and
I am afraid to do anything that would raise my strength
for fear it would raise my confidence to hurt people
(I've seen this happen personally)
Does anyone have any advice for me by any chance:quesballoon:

Anger management - if you can find a therapist that works for you - is a great solution for anger issues, I found. My only problem is that sometimes it works too well, you know? I know with some who have been through it that they find it very difficult to express anger at all, and then when offered the chance for therapy to correct that there is such a fear of reverting to the old angry behaviour that it prevented it.

That's just personal observations though. I do think anger management is an excellent idea though, and depending on where you are you might be able to get treated for free too. I think a lot of GPs have counselling services and the like, which are - of course - free, so it may be worth asking your local doctor if he can help you at all.