My heart and stomach sank. I just felt everything else in the world shut off, and my sole focus was those people. I stopped in my tracks, and attempted to hear the language they were speaking etc.

I then just felt very depressed for a little, and then I just kept seeing more and more before I had the chance to regain myself.

I counted how many seconds between each easily distinguishable White person I saw: less than a minute each. Thats a lot.

I asked around and was told I'd only see like... 10 foreigners a day in even the busiest areas. More in Roppongi, but I had no interest in going there.
So this low number made me confident.

But alas the estimates were WAY under. In one day I counted near 250 foreigners while I was outside, in the Akihabara area.

250. This destroyed my early hopes and basically set the tone for my entire trip. :/

I can really relate to that feeling. When I arrived in Japan for the first time I remember feeling special. I was lucky to be stationed in a small city in which you would only see 3 or 4 foreigners a day walking the streets. I lived about 45 mins out of town by train and out there I never saw any at all.

It really gave me a sense of identity, of feeling unique. Almost everyone Japanese person would glance at me and sometimes even stare with a curious look, no anger or fear. I remember feeling depressed when I went into bigger cities and saw more foreigners that this feeling of being special would wane and I would start to feel like boring old me again. It was hard to adjust to this and it took a few years but in the end I realised that sharing Japan and my experiences of it with other foreigners who were there did sometimes give my that special feeling too. Instead of feeling like "My Japan" it started to feel like "Our Japan".

So it's like a problem with sharing as well as a problem with not feeling special- like not being noticed?

Mail 747, what have you done/ will you do to try to fix your problem?

Imagine if a Japanese person came to your hometown and started hating other Japanese people, or just asians, who also lived there, even if they were there longer or were even born there etc, and even if they spoke English better haha. You'd hate that first Japanese person.

That's how Japanese people think of you mail747, they hate you and think you're ridiculous for behaving that way, they'd never welcome you into their country if they knew this about you.

"my Japan" or "our Japan" or any kind of possessiveness is so delusional it's actually pretty funny.

Oh and I speak Japanese better than you too, and if we were both seen downtown no one would pay attention to you, cuz I'd be there. How does that make you feel?

Oh and I've been on TV in Japan, on Friday night of all times, that's prime time foreigner exposure, one week after the big tsunami/earthquake of all times. Feelings?

Sounds like mail747 hit a nerve here...

obsession does strange things to your brain.

But your love of Japan goes beyond what is considered normal and you are aware of this. You're kind of like a possesive boyfriend who wants to beat up any other guy who even looks in the general direction of his girlfriend. You are possesive of Japan in a way you have no right to be. It isn't yours! You're a whacko who needs help. At least you realise this, you just now need to go get that help and start changing the way you view things. Unless you like being unhappy, depressed and obsessed...

to be honest his strange life seems kind of interesting haha, I'd never want it though (>_<)

Take a look around YouTube. Well I don't think they'd have it specifically for this but there are a lot of hypnosis videos on YouTube and there might be hypnosis for something like enjoying life.

What it comes down to is OP is just overly jealous. It's the same thing, but rather than "My Japan Syndrome," I've coined "Last Samurai Syndrome." (I call it this because of the hilarity of the movie, which involves moving to a remote Japanese village, falling in love ((and reciprocation)) with a Japanese girl even after killing her husband ((Jesus!)), and becoming a "hero" in Japan, among other things).
OP wants to be different, a novelty if you will, because he/she is plain where he/she is from. OP was hoping to get some kind of special treatment (oohs and awes) but it's not like that. I know it seems redundant to have to explain this, but I hope this post will reach anyone else who's thinking they'll be the first foreigner to reach Japan since Matthew Perry.