Fair enough, and whilst everyone's discussing it . . . what are the rules there like on the matter? I mean in the US/UK teachers risk jail-time, and even if the student is legally an adult they nearly always lose their job, is that the same in Japan? I mean I can understand it being legal for a teacher to marry/date an ex-student, but if he/she was dating a current student what would the situation be then? Also - if it's legal - isn't there a worry about bias as far as grading and things go?

That's a question best answered by Nyororin who said she's known a case where the parents gave their blessings so long as the marriage took place after graduation, which implies they knew about it fully while the daughter was a student.

Honestly it doesn't surprise me at all.

Until recently most US States only prosecuted on the basis of teacher-student relationships being statuatory rape because the student was usually a minor. And unless the case went to court, the matter was usually quietly "taken care of" - either the teacher was fired or the matter was swept under the carpet.

However, many (all?) states now are passing laws making such relationships between teachers and student a criminal act, regardless of the ages involved. Some of the force behind adopting the laws was the issue that not all students are below the age of consent, either because of grades or some sort of handicap.

Just this week a teacher was arrested in a local suburb for this. The students (5 in all) are of legal age. Because all of the boys are still students in public school, she is facing serious criminal action. And as one editorial pointed out all 6 were pretty stupid not to have waited a few weeks for their "escapades" because in another few weeks the boys would have graduated and there would be no grounds for prosecution.

With the girl I knew, it was a requirement that it be kept a serious secret. If there was any kind of special treatment shown to her in school, I have no doubt that the teacher would have been facing some serious consequences. Friends didn`t even have confirmation of the relationship until just before graduation. (Of course her closest friends knew, and some others strongly suspected.)

I don`t think that he taught any of her classes in her senior year when they were actually involved in a relationship. I don`t know if that is coincidence or arranged.

I don`t really know the law, but I do not believe there is a law against it once the student is of age. There are school policies, of course. The school I went to was private, so had it`s own rules. I imagine parents knowing and permitting also made a difference in the school response.

There WAS a teacher who got in trouble and was fired for flirting with the students... And there were rumors that he kept trying to drive them home. Not a serious relationship type of guy. So I would guess it came down to an individual basis.

The age difference between the teacher and student was not all that large. At graduation she was 18 and he was 24, having started teaching straight out of university.

I had an 18 year old gf when I was 24, most my friends gave me "that talk" and "that look" worried I was becoming a lowlife dirtbag etc etc, maybe that's just the area I lived in Canada...
One of my friends here, who's 31, has a 19 year old gf and no one thinks twice about it... it's just more accepted here it seems.

It is, in my opinion. It`s pretty normal to see marriages with the man being much older. I think it`s traditionally something fairly common, and that has carried over to modern attitudes. Obviously extremes aren`t going to be accepted, but that sort of age gap is nothing strange. The parents of the family I stayed with when I first came to Japan fit this - the father was 64 and the mother 50 - perfectly normal.

Maybe how common marriages are between older men and younger women plays a part. There don`t seem to be as many wide age gap marriages in the US/Canada, so I think there is a tendency to look at them as something completely physical without any chance of being serious.

What I feel when I see the bigger age gap couples is "gold digger" and then "I'm kind of a hypocrite for thinking that cuz I fully intend to date 20 year old when I'm twice their age.." but then I think "of course they'll only go along with it cuz of the money though... at first anyways"

My wife is 7 years younger than me but has always been more responsible than I am! I met her through the mountaineering club at university. I had well and truly finished my degree but was still involved with the club. I was 28 when we met and she was 21. No one ever commented on the age gap being weird.

I think the age gap becomes more socially acceptable as the two involved are older.
21 and 28 isn't all that bad but 21 and 14, or even 24 and 17 is still pretty awkward to me.

when I was young many moons ago-- I never went out with boys of my own age. I did not like their immature attitude and always preferred older men. Older men are more mature.

There is six years between my husband and I--not much when I married him-- now he is almost eighty--I fear to lose him.

My daughter is with a man 17 years older--------------Too much-- But--this is her second marriage.

I can see the attraction of older men for young girls--maybe there is almost a father figure attraction?