A warning to happy-go-lucky travellers
 

For a long while I'd wanted to go to Japan, to just be there.

I was never a total japanophile, but I certainly exhibited some of the key traits of one: generalisation of Japan and Japanese culture, desire and sincere appreciation of an entire country and people without direct experience of such, etc.

A few months ago I dropped out of university but didn't care because I had started planning to go to Japan. I'd been studying Japanese for a few years with positive results and made up my mind that I now wanted to become fluent in the fastest way I could think of, going to live there.

Since I just left uni and had no job I wanted to get going there as fast as possible, so I applied for a working holiday visa and started contacting a homestay organisation.

My friend said I might be better off just going there as a tourist to see if I actually liked living there, but I brushed them off thinking that it was a done deal and I'd just have to bite the bullet to acheive my dream ASAP.

However I've now ended up in a location I really dislike and with a family I find difficult to live with all month, and have decided to return to England at the start of the next month.

I just wanted to write a short post imploring people who have the same desire I had to thoroughly and prepare and consider what might happen to them and what they will do in Japan once they get there.

MMM said 'Japan isn't a giant amusement park'. I have found truth in these words.

Please everyone throroughly research the area you're going to and plan cautiously　and short-term, at least to begin with. Do not arrange to stay anywhere for up to a month unless maybe it's with friends.

I'm not looking for a fight. If this advice can help anyone enjoy their experience of Japan any better that would be satisfactory.

Feel free to ask me any Qs about my experience as I've written a lot already.
:vsign:

That's a very interesting point of view that really puts your head into place. After listening to what e.g you and MMM said I definitely would like to visit Japan ASAP for the simple reason I might be wasting three years of my life studying of a candidate in Japanese studies.

I think most people have this idea in their head that Japan is some magical country where everything is just great.

Svante

So, would you mind sharing where you are living in Japan and what you don't like about it?

As for the family, I'll bet they are very strict, very cautious, and very concerned for your safety and well-being... that is typical of Japanese host parents, because they tend to take the responsibility VERY seriously... You won't be allowed to stay out late, drink, smoke, party, or just go somewhere all day or all weekend without supervision, even if you are old enough to do so in your home country. Am I right?

Whatever the circumstances of his situation the OP's advice is sound at least.

Concerning the family... homestaying is always a bit of a risk. I mean I've heard about more good experiences than bad ones but you should be ready and have a plan in case things not work out.

Thank you for posting this experience. I am sorry you actually had to live it, but I hope others take this post seriously and plan accordingly.

As I, Nyororin, and many others have posted in the past...Japan isn't going anywhere. Japan will be ready for you the second you step off the plane. The important thing is for you to be ready for Japan.

Sorry to hear about your negative experience, we shape our lives from our experieince, this experieince will definitely make you stronger and make "wiser" choice in a long run

I hope this post is going to help people that is fascinated about japan for its subcultural, at least realize that its not an easy thing to just "pack and go" and live in a country.....

Sorry I thought I'd said a lot and risked creating a tl;dr-wall.

I've been living in Iizuka city in Fukuoka prefecture. It was actually a total mistake on my part that I came here. I asked the homestay organisation to look for a family in Fukuoka because I thought this would just mean the city, and I thought that my friend lived there too. I knew about prefectures I just wasn't specific. But it turned out they sent me to a different city in the area, way away from my friend.

I also found out that Japanese cities are not like English cities. Iizuka is pretty rural, with few of the ammenities you could expect if you live in a city in the US or UK. My main hobbies at home are doing pretty much everything on the internet and doing things with my friends, both of which were totally impossible in Iizuka.

Oh also my family is a bit different from perhaps what you're picturing, samurai. The wife works weekdays and doesnt have a spare key, or want me to stay inside, so I have to be out all day. I just give odd English lessons in the evening so I usually had nothing to do until I discovered things.

The classes have been fun but they've made it difficult as well because I now have to wait until I complete my obligation to do them before I can leave the area.

I could groan on for ages about how everything was awful but basicly I just wanted to say to people: plan your trip thoroughly, dont leave much to chance because it's a tricky situation to pull out of.

To be honest, if I had gone to Fukuoka city and lived with a　more relaxed family I would probably have been having a better time. But still I think I came with insufficient preparation because of my naivety.

If you wanna know more specific stuff just ask. :)
Oh I'm moving into a hostel in the city on the 25th, so don't worry about me or anything lol.

Sorry to hear your Story, i hope it will help others to be better prepared.
I also went there with a Working Holiday Visa and stayed the first month with a Family in the outskirts of Tokyo. My family was great and i really enjoyed the time i spend there.
Japan is no wonderland but you can have a good time. My advise would be not to leave the country so fast. Try to stay in Fukuoka and get a job there. Live in a Boarder House and meet many people. I lived in a shared House in Tokyo for 2 month during winter and i had a great time, even so it was expensive (Fukuoka might be cheaper). I met alot of good people there and there was always smething going on. If you keep teaching english you shouldnt have such a big problem with money if you are a bit carefull and in Fukuoka you can maybe give private lessons.
I stayed there he full year and i had hard times to. It is not always easy to live there and it is an expensive country to travel. Somehow i managed to se every corner of Japan but i did bring alot of savings from home and lived life on the cheap.

So my advide: Fukuoka is a great city with lots of fun things to do, give it another try for a month or two.


To all the others: Prepare before you got there, bring a bit of savings and visit before you decide to stay!

You are feeling what a lot of newcomers feel when they experience living in a foreign country for the first time. When I say "foreign", I don't simply mean a different country, but one in which the culture and lifestyle are much different than what we are used to.

One month isn't really much time to form an opinion. Things may not seem so good now, but if you were to stay a few more months, you might find yourself beginning to like your surroundings.

I live and work in a rural area about an hour from Tokyo. It's certainly not a very glamorous place. About one-third of the shops are vacant, the train station is ancient, the greater number of the houses are old and in poor repair. The town is surrounded by rice fields and farms, and most people might find it incredibly boring.

I wasn't very impressed when I first arrived here. But in time I began to meet new people, make a few friends, and explore my surroundings. I found that the beach was close enough to get to on bicycle, and that the small mountains overlooking the town were very scenic, and fun to hike. I began cycling, surfing, and hiking as a way to pass my extra time. I also got back into photography, which is something I hadn't practiced for years.

After 2 years the town appears no different from when I first arrived. But I am comfortable and happy here, and, when an opportunity finally came to move to Tokyo to live and work, I didn't take it.

I find country life much more enjoyable. I like the sounds of the insects, frogs, and birds. I like the smell of the smoke when the farmers are burning weeds. I like the fresh food and vegetables, which are better and less expensive than what's available in Tokyo. Another point is the super-low cost of living. On my teacher's salary, I make enough money that I can afford to live pretty much anywhere in the city that I like.

If I want to see the city, Tokyo is only an hour away by bus, and I usually go to the city every weekend.

For me, things turned out much more differently than I expected. I grew to enjoy living in a place I originally disliked. The town is having it's annual festival on Saturday, and crews have been hanging up lanterns up and down the street. There will be food, games, music, and dancing. After the festival will be a fireworks show. The day after the festival I will go surfing with friends, after which I will take the bus to Tokyo to do some shopping and picture taking. I'm having fun in Japan, and I have no regrets about moving here.

Definitely a one sided view here.

I found some hated it, other's didn't, some can crack it, other's cannot.

I knew a few that had to egt out after a year, I stayed six and it took me two to crack it. After that, it was all plain sailing and a lot of fun.

A lot of feelings can be brought on by one's own personality. An outgoing personality in Japan as a foreigner will make you popular. A sensitive and serious person will have problem's, although I have know some insecure and un-popular types that fitted in well.

As Ronin says, homestay is a gamble in any country and I have know many a student and working holiday visa makes in Australia who have both loved and hated homestay families.

You really have to have an EXTREMELY open mind to live in Japan and don't take things to personally.

It is a difficult place to live, but that open mind and positive attitude will work wonders.

I lived in a suburb of Kyoto city named Fushimi Momoyama. It was a very proud resident type of place and people were not friendly to say the least.
As the years went on, I was recognized, not only for my good looks;) , but also for my honesty which started to make me sorta famous in the suburb. It became a lot of fun.

Reading through the posts, I have to say this sounds more like you had skewed expectations of what moving anywhere would be like... Not just Japan. And, well, would most likely experience the same thing when moving anywhere unfamiliar.
It`s good that you`ve realized that your experience has a lot more to do with your own feelings and expectations than Japan being "bad". Expectations of what life may be in a location you aren`t directly familiar with are generally wrong... And even when they are, a whole life isn`t going to be set up and waiting for you - you have to make it yourself.

I would personally advise you to give it a bit more time before deciding to just throw in the towel and call the whole thing a mistake. You say you discovered things - there is likely much much more out there to be discovered. Maybe not as much as you were looking forward to - cue the "Japan is not an amusement park" - but there is more than enough to do pretty much anywhere if you look. In the long run, you may have a better experience for not being with friends in the city... Although it looks like that is where you`re going to be heading soon.

I agree with your advice to those who want to just leap into Japan with closed eyes, but I don`t agree that you should be leaving so quickly. No, make that "strongly against" you leaving so quickly. At least spend a bit more time going around - if you leave now all you will have is a bad taste left in your mouth and the feeling of having wasted huge amounts of time and money. Japan is a big country - travel a bit more and find a place that you do feel a bit more comfortable. Not everywhere is the sticks of Fukuoka.

But the biggest question I can`t help but ask... What DID you expect? What did you intend to do once in Japan?

(I`m not trying to be hostile in any way, just understand a bit more.)

I am finding on this forum that may users simply cannot feel what Japan is really like.

Many posters think it is all hairstyles, fashion, anime and cosplay.

It just does not happen like that unless you are near the right train station.

I arrived at Kansai airport in shorts from Sydney at 12am in winter. The first thing I noticed was that it was bloody freezing!

I couldn't see anything on the train back to Kyoto so the next day was very exciting.

Once I had my scooter, the streets entertained me.

But, I was already well travelled, I had a wife in Japan plus all living aparatus, so I guess it was easy for me and would be different to the average "Alien" dropping in for the first time.

I was interested inc ulture, and was lucky to have free tickets for a Kabuki theater in Kyoto and a Maiko dancing in Gion followed be a Geisha tea serving ceremony. These tickets were wedding gifts from friends of my wife.

I worked in very country areas in Nara so that also opened the door for me learning about culture.

I'm not sure what people experience in Tokyo, as I've had nothing to do with it. Kyoto was my home turf and I enjoyed every momebt of it.

Thanks to all for the advice. What I get from pretty much everyone is relatively the same and I totally agree. However my life plans have actually changed now and I can see how I'll be fine just being in England. If I still had a strong long-term desire to live in Japan or become fluent ASAP then I'd agree that it would be worth sticking it out, but I feel I'll be fine at home.

As Nyororin rightly pointed out, this isn't a defamation of Japan in any way. If I liked rural areas more and had prepared more I would probably be enjoying myself, perhaps with a more hospitable homestay. In that way maybe it's a good recommendation not to get tied down somewhere with duties until you're sure you like who you're living with?

Nyororin@ this was the problem actually, I didn't really know what to expect at all. As I said I wasn't really a japanophile, I was prepared not to like everything and for it to be hard. I think the main thing was just that I expected a city, so when I suddenly was left outside all day with no internet, no food to suit my diet and no easy way of meeting people,　I got really emotionally strained.

The main difference in my thinking is simply noting that Japan doesn't necessarily equal progress for me. Japanese isn't my life so much anymore. However there are people much more enthusiastic about it than　me and I just wnated to help them make sure they were practically prepared for whatever they might experience in Japan.

Oh just a few things I dislike about Japan (in comparison with what I'm used to in England). Again this isn't even a critique of Japan, just a description of what didn't suit me personally:

1, smoking is more widespread. In England I'm used to the inside being a smoke-free zone. I'm currently in a net cafe and have wofts of it going over me.

2, even in the city, less acknowledgement of alternative diets like my veganism. Forget about it in rural areas.

3, 'over'abundance of commercialism. There're always annoying advertising songs and people trying to sell you something, even outside of shops. I often wake up to political slogans being blasted out of cars.

4, rigidly respectful services and personal relations. In England I could talk to my boss almost like I talk to my friends, and not much different to shop assistants. I significantly feel the loss of this in Japan.

Again, you could easily come to England and compare it to another country, listing its negatives and ignoring its positives. This is soley for the purpose of description from my own set of values. If you disagree then you're probably right, I'm not interested in an argument.:vsign:

I went there for a month visit and was placed in a town waaay out from Nagoya (college program replacing otherwise boring credits). Before I even thought of entering the program, I did my studying. I knew a little about the culture, enough of the language to get around, and I had all my expectations in check.

The experience was a culture shock! However, I had 2 friends from the States with me the entire time (same program) so that surely dampened the whole shock. However, the host family was awesome. They were a nice old couple with an older daughter (she was visiting too). They were attempting English with us while we were attempting Japanese with them. It was so funny because I could understand them better when they spoke Japanese than when they spoke English. They cooked us some food that was pretty good (perhaps too bland for some Americans :p ). They were pleasantly social (a far cry from most other people there). Other people associated with the program in Japan (Japanese people) even gave us a sort of tour walking around the town and city.

Another thing that really amused me was the amount of attention we'd get. We'd get glances all the time (more than normal). Kids would say "Gaijin! Hello! How are you!" or whatever little phrase they've learned so far :D . In other cases, I was avoided to strange extents (I guess due to uncertainty that I could even communicate with them). I was waiting in line once for a purchase waiting for one of a few cashiers. When I was next the girl called out to the person behind me... he went up before me. The next open cashier did wave me over. Whatever... lol.

I certainly don't think I was over there long enough for a great experience (all too true for all the countries I've been to). I barely got a glimpse of the culture while I was there. I wish I could have stayed longer.

However, I certainly agree that "Japan is not an amusement park". I treat it just as any other country I visit (I've been to several others). I am cautious and slow. I take my time and am sure to retain much patience, even for those who are not patient with me. Courtesy is a must. I am, after all, representing my country when I visit others'.

I think your experience, Skuu, was pretty difficult one. I didn't have the same burdens you had with a job and such (I just had college assignments). Hope it gets better for you!

I went to England once! I got this terrible stomach sickness while there and it was not pretty... I did enjoy the stricture design in some parts! Although it reminded me a lot of New Orleans and a little of San Fransisco in the US.

We poison the tea so we don't have to share it.

It sounded like the main different for you was your friends and a welcoming host family. It's really important to have people backing you up. Without this I feel I've let small things become mountains but there's nothing I can do about that. I got by by talking to my best friend online. Dunno what I would have done otherwise.

Good to hear other experiences though. :ywave:

You are correct that lots of people in Japan smoke. In some restaurants I can't eat as the smoke is so thick it burns my eyes. Luckily this is beginning to change. In most places in Tokyo now it is illegal to smoke in train stations or while walking on the sidewalk.

Yes, there are lots of advertisements. Advertising is big business in Japan. Even the insides of buses and trains are full of posters and hanging banners, and shops pay to get their business names mentioned when the bus driver announces the next stop.

Vegetarianism is uncommon in Japan, even Buddhists who claim to be vegetarian usually are not. As for vegans, Japanese people tend to think of such people as absurd. It could be worse though, you could be staying in China right now where, as the saying goes "they eat anything with legs except chairs, and everything with wings, except airplanes".

As for the last part, there is a rigid social structure in Japan, though things have become minutely more casual in recent years in some fields. When I first arrived here I was amazed at the amount of respect that the staff showed the head teacher and principle, little different from that which I used towards superior officers in the Army. It take a little getting used to, and I don't necessarily see it as a bad thing.

The next time you go overseas on an extended trip, you should choose a place in the third world. It'll change a lot of your opinions and perspectives, and usually for the better.

I think a large part of living in rural Japan, which I did for 9 months, is to feel comfortable within yourself. You could say the same about anywhere but it especially applies to Japan. If you can be like a leaf in the breeze, the ride will be easier. Remember, this is a short-term experience for most foreigners in the overall scheme of things. I vividly remember scouting new alleyways to see what I could unearth. That was fun in itself. Nyororin is right, there needs to be talk of concrete expectations rather than hazy, romantic ideals.

I totally understand what you mean, and I have developed a kinda independent skill from being here only a month. However I don't see this as an essential skill that I have to suffer for.

Not to imply that this is your position but many people I talk to tell me that travelling to a foreign country is like an essential life experience. I don't agree. To me it's more like, if you wanna do it then yes, if you don't or if you go off the idea, then you can get quality experiences in your own country as well.

I guess I'm being defensive because i feel people have a different opinion to me. However I came to Japan at least partially on a whim which I now regret, and I just wanted to warn anyone else who has such a whim to question it. Youthful confidence and desire is useful but if you're not prepared things don't necessarily work out alright.

This is a very interesting, and fun thread to read. Please, discuss! XD Though I think almost everything to know has already been put down, this bunch is very fun and entertaining. I thank all of you! :D

Good thread.


Lesson to learn:

if you romanticize anything it's bound to have a very off-putting reality.

dont feel bad skuu, many people who go overseas for more than a vacation usual return with a healthy appreciation of where they might call home. its normal and if you feel that its time to go then its time to go.

take it from a life long expat, dont stay somewhere if you'd rather be somewhere else. it'll just make you bitter. the main thing is to take something positive away from this whole experience, and it seems you have with your greater independence.

few people can hack it as an expat, and as you said, its not a necessary life skill. some of us are natural life long wanderers and some of us arent.

but for those still thinking of living in japan, i think most of you already know as much as you can cram into your heads. so i would start reading about expatriate life where ever if i were you. it is much more relevant, and will help you to prepare yourself for the mindset required to live in a foreign country for an extended period of time.

some shrink must have written a book about it somewhere.

And to be honest, it's all really a crapshoot -- you don't know where your going to end up during one of those homestay things.


During my trip I was with a really friendly, passionate, and unusually entertaining family. They were rich, and lived in a great neighborhood (Takefu, Fukui) untainted by wordly things.

My friend, on the other hand, was stuck with a really bizarre family -- a kind of rude, "surfer" like dad, normal mom, and a mentally handicapped kid. Not that there is anything wrong with that sort of thing, but he didn't speak any English -- where as our host brothers and sisters were pretty well spoken. By the end of the trip he was pretty turned off by the whole Japan experience.

My 'schpeal' :vsign:


To the OP:

What was it that you expected going into it? Did you have any preconceived ideas of what Japan was like?

I've kinda mentioned before that I consciously didnt have much of an idea what it would be like, but I had a naive idea that I'd always have things to do.

Also I was overconfident in that I knew I'd have problems but just expected myself to deal with them because 'I had to'. In hindsight I shouldnt have got the year visa, should have just gone as a tourist and stayed in places a short while with no strings until I knew I was OK.