not scared about dressing EGA but worried
 

hey well 2 of my friends are lolita and when i go out with them they just ignore all comments that people give them mostly its abuse and laughing but they dont care but they have gotten it so much they just ignore every one including when people try complement them,

i guess it can get annoying so i understand why they do it,

well i was gonna start dressing EGA because i love the style but im just abit worried about what girls will think coz its abit feminine and im not exactly a manly man, eh just think most people will think i am gay ( nothing wrong with that) but i just think i wont meet a nice girl

i mean if u saw a guy wearing some clothing not girls but feminine and a tiny bit of makeup would u think he was gay? would u still talk to him or even think its cute?

i know these are all prob stupid questions but yeah im insecure also lol

I've realized that no matter what we do people are going to laugh and say things anyway if they don't understand something or see something that they are unaccustomed to seeing. Just wear what you want and do your thing and make sure you are ready for the consequences. If you commit to whatever is going to happen you will be fine. If you don't think you can handle the stares and comments then just dress up at conventions or somewhere away from the mainstream public eye. If I ever put on my Japanese traditional clothes at the university I'm sure someone would have something to say about it but I'd ready to deal with even if I had to physically or whatever.

bad
 

that is not anice thing to say

fist of all, most of the people on this forum are not like your average person, and certainly not like your average australian person. there was a topic here of a guy wearing girls fashion and everyone who replied on this forum said it was great blah blah. take that to the real world and people will think the person has some issues. i don't care if people here disagree with me.

you wear feminine style clothing and makeup the only attention you will get from girls is laughter and they'll probably want to stay clear of you. your only hope is to find the incredibly small number of people out there who have this same interest as you, then the girl might find it sexy.

as an average aussie bloke, who doesn't like anime and manga and is not into most of this japanese pop culture i will tell you right now do not wear feminine clothes and do not wear lolita fashion etc if you intend to fit in and not scare off the ladies and other people in the public.

if you want to wear the fashion for yourself and don't care what anyone else thinks then power to you, i'm just saying don't expect much of a positive response from women unless they are fans of this also.

who are you talking about?

yeah true, thanks allot mate, but hey i am the kind of person who cares allot what other people think and i hate it, maybe this will just help me get over this.

I encourage you to express yourself the way you feel best, just be prepared for the consequences of it. We all have things that others won't accept, you need to stick by your interests and passions. don't let others dictate how you should act but at the same time don't expect others to conform with you. When you are a minority, the majority will find you strange. part of being comfortable with who you are is being comfortable with how other people think of you.

WOW i respect your straight forwardness and your reality check attitude !!

well done for giving good advice!! :) :) :)

If you're worried about girls not noticing you, or any girls being interested in you because you look like you're gay then you're just going to have to be more proactive about getting to know girls.

Personally, I tend to go for androgonus pretty boys, but that's just me. I'm a little biased, as I do dress in Lolita a bit myself, however I liked androgonus guys waay before I ever got into it. I would be fine just walking up to you and chatting. If you are that worried about what people are going to say, I think you should take kunitokotachi's advice and save it for conventions. People are going to comment. You can't get around it. Some of it will be good but some of it will be bad and if you can't handle it, you really should rethink it. It's not too bad here for girls. The most we seem to get is being asked if we're going to a costume party and a wierd look when we say no. They do seem to give the guys a harder time of it, though.

Ok this is a topic that Im pretty familiar with.

Im Goth, have been since early high school. Now Im an adult, I run a business, Im married- Im no teenager anymore but Im still Gothic.

Time and again, when I was younger, I got the "youll never meet a nice man dressed like you are" people assumed every man draped in black was a serial killer or some drug addled couch-surfer with a dozen piercings...

My husband is also Gothic- he is also a professional and an utter gentleman.

I never once wavered in my attire or beliefs or lifestyle- not for dates, not out of embarassment (and im originally from a VERY small town), not for anything. Because its who I am.

I always believed that the kind of men who would only consider me if i dressed like a "normal" woman were not the kinds of men I wanted to be with.

If some girl is going to instantly write you off because youre wearing some kickass lolita outfit- well then shes a bubblehead and shallow- end of story.
I know lots of women who wouldnt. Clothes dont make the man.

People who are daft will make snap judgements about you.
Those people are sheep, ignore them.
End of story.

If Loli is a hobby for you- awesome- if its going to be your fulltime lifestyle- fine- but know that not everyone agrees with it, not everyone will get that youre a human and a straight dude under the frills.

Awesome advice, Gloomth! :pinkclap: :pinkclap: :pinkclap:
I agree 100%.

and THIS is the kind of woman that i ADMIRE and RESPECT! =O

aww thanks! :)

Thanks for your advice once again gloomth!

Gloomth is absolutely right!

Think of it this way. If you met a girl who would have otherwise ignored or ridiculed you when you dress the way you wish to, it would mean you would have to repress that side of you for as long as you were with her, even in private.

No one is worth extinguishing what is a part of you. It is better to be alone than hide your real self from the world just to have companionship.

It dosent matter what people say. Heh most people think im gay. I could care less. Then again I havent dressed in the visual kei style YET! As soon as I get darker in skin color and grow my hair out a bit more I will. Just need a little make up help. Dont care what people think its your life your body your style. The again if you live in america like me you might have trouble with wemon and people do to america is less accepting of style. Man I want to move.If a girl cant like you for who you are then shes not worth wanting.