Not much possibilities, unfortunately. You can teach English, but if you're not fluent in language and non-verbal communication, very difficult. Also important is where you live. My time is usually spent in the country side, there's nothing. If your tech or business minded you may find work in a company in tokyo or other huge town.
Also, most folk who stay longer than a few years tend to go bonkers. People I met who where there for six years tended to be a little bent. Strange look in the etye and never knowing the date.
Have your lady visit the states, too and you can decide where you want to stay!
Wishing you good luck!

head-hunting, it is even worse than the english teaching circus but u should be able to get a job there or at least be able to start there, the major problem in that sector is to keep the job.

that is if u got the visa, 配偶者, spouse visa.

What field of employment?

Having lived here for 10 years now... I feel a bit insulted by that.

You don't have to feel insulted. It's just an observation. You have to admit, that many of the gai-jin who stay in japan for a long time are effected by their time there. It's a stressful place to live, unless your in a large city surrounded by other ex-pats.
I knew a guy who lived in Ukraine and east Europe for five years, where outsiders aren't usially trusted. He imparted that the culture shock and difficulties in Japan are far more difficult in Japan.

Actually, I don`t find it particularly stressful to live here EXCEPT when I`m surrounded by ex-pats. Most everyone I know who had problems here developed them while surrounded by ex-pats.

I definitely do not think that is the way to go. You will always have someone next to you telling you that something means something it really doesn`t - or telling you why they hate Japan or Japanese people, etc. You never get a chance to form your own independent opinions before having that backdrop.

Most people I know who were relatively isolated here enjoyed Japan immensely and many of them are still here. It`s the ex-pat bubbles that ruin things for people.

Also, please consider that you've been in Japan since you were 17, and began udjusting while you were still psychologically more pliable. Most of us who do a few years in Japan start a bit later than you.
Also, please don't fall into the trap of being insulted by everything. these days people have thin skins and allow themselves to be hurt too easily. If we all become offended so easily, then we'll live in a society in which it becomes ipossible to express opinions or share ideas. A sad direction in the modern world.

I must agree with your last sentiment. Immersion is best. And we don't go to Japan to learn about other foreigners, right?

There are a lot more possibilities with permanant residency. Not needing a visa allows for all kinds of work, and not everyone wants to wear a suit and tie and live in the corporate world. He will have to understand that with only a high-school diploma, your choices are limited, but there is no reason why you can't be gainfully employed and support your family.

I have found that people tend to go bonkers in the first year or not at all. Many people here have spent more than six years in Japan, and they seem sane to me.

Agreed. education is key, or starting your own business is a good route. Knew a chap started importing surfboards.

And don't get me wrong - I never said insane, as you imply. Some folks just get a bit, cloudy or preoccupied.