So, im not so shy, and i have friends here in Tokyo, but my biggest Problem is that most people are always busy. For a bit shy person i would give mixi a try. I also live in a Guesthouse, so i made some good friends there. It took me quite a while to overcome the barrier of just starting to talk to people, but after travelling so much, i got over it. A good point to start a conversation is always similarities (language, everday the same train, or even the same bag, shirt,......)

I felt pretty isolated in Japan...until this week when I started travelling on my own. I stayed at minshukus and got friendly with the innkeepers. I also asked A LOT of questions, like "What is ##### famous for?". I asked this at a little Ramen shop and ended up getting into a enjoyable conversation with the other customers. Oh and bars, I met a few interesting people there.

I think if you show interest in other people (or about something that they would know a lot about), they`ll show interest in you.

It`s very easy to feel isolated in Japan but I also think that it`s very easy to change that.

^Oh hey, this guy's back again. Super.

This. Japanese culture may be different from a lot of others, but people are people.

listen to nyororin and biginjapan

japanese are people too

i remember the first time i entered high school-collage: i was the only foreigner in class and the first week was terrible because i got no friends to turn to.

but then i started make small chat with people sitting close to me. then they introduced their friends to me and my japanese friends circle widens dramatically.

i also joined them in sports, which is a very good place to socialize and be closer to them.

i played soccer, tennis, table tennis, volleyball and make tons of friends... and i'm not even good at those sports!

then i joined english conversation clubs, and started to make female friends which is very different from the sport-crazy boys.

after that, it's all about invitation to parties, go-kon-s and nomikai-s.

the point that i'm trying to make is that all those 'social successes' starts with a little courage to start small talk with someone you don't know.

being lonely sucks, especially when you're in a foreign country, but it won't help you if you're not comfortable to meet new people.

you have got to have the courage to open yourself up a little bit, because that's what living is all about: opening up to new experiences.

good luck!

I've made a couple friends here so far, besides my girlfriend. I've met them all at either clubs/bars or arcades.

I know in the states it was very rare and strange to meet friends at clubs/bars but here it seems to be normal and common.

I think it is hard to make friends in big cities like Tokyo. I lived in northern Saitama for many years and all my Japanese friends come from there. In my own experience my friends who stayed in Tokyo made friends among other gaijin but had only shallow relationships with Japanese people.

I think smaller towns give you more scope for making friends outside work and drinking establishments (these have their own limitations, just my own opinion).