Japanese Manners; Stuff that SHOULD be rude but isn't!
 

People coming to Japan often get the impression that they'll need to be ultra-careful about minding their manners. When, they get here, however, they're often surprised by all the things they see in Japan that would be considered rude in their home countries. I think the Japanese as a whole (sorry to generalise!) are pretty good at promoting themselves as an ultra polite nation so when old ladies, for example, barge past you on the subway it comes as a real shock.

I thought this was a funny article on the subject but there are loads more examples. I wonder if anyone has any others?

Cheers!

urinating in public won't get as much rude stares as calling someone on the train with your cell phone. from what i heard from locals is that japanese people believe cell phone can stop a pace maker. since a lot of old people use the trains, cell phones should not be used in such a confined space (but texting is okay).

Yeah, the urinating in public issue is interesting. For women, having visibly erect nipples is considered quite rude in Japan - but for men, you can just flop out your wedding tackle for the world!

That is funny..

I learned very quickly that it is a fake politeness to cover up their real behavior. But that's just the culture. I found it funny.

lol, that list is funny. Thanks for sharing it.

I think "Grab Other's Private Parts" should be added to that list. At the all girl's school I attended, there was one too many hands trying to grab my breasts.

Yeah, there seems to be a lot of touching between students too. My wife taught in a boys' junior high school for a while where they were always... actually I'll just stop there. They were doing all the things you're probably thinking of!

I attended a school in rural Japan, and the kids were unusually touchy (with the same sex).

But the boys and girls wouldn't touch eachother with a tenfoot pole.

It was a little scary at first, because it was actually an ambush game... so you could be minding your own business, eating or taking a walk down the hallway - and bam, someone's hands are on you. What's scariest about it, though, is that after a while I actually got into it and thought that it was pretty fun. >_>

There was definitely this weird aura between boys and girls that I couldn't figure out. It was like I wasn't really allowed to talk to guys, or people would automatically assume that I was interested in them sexually. I still can't figure out what the "rules" are for speaking with the opposite sex.

I taught in a university where the "boys" and "girls" wouldn't go near each other. I never tried a ten foot pole, but I don't reckon it would have helped...

They all seemed to prefer touching me. I'm not sure what most Japanese guys think about western women here, in terms of their sexuality. One of my female friends was shouted at by some old guy who said "Go back to America! You American women only come here for sex!" - Japan being such a sexual utopia for gaijin girls!

One other thing, mercedesjin, have you tried speaking in a low voice? High-pitched voices make it sound like you're trying to be cute, apparently.

Oh, that's exciting. :/ I hope that's not a popular view of American women.

You're right, I noticed that thing about voice pitch too. I was a little younger, so my voice was naturally a little squeaky. I got called cute a few times for it. I'm definitely going back with the deepest voice I can manage, though. Do you think that would make people think I'm "one of the guys"?

You know, I heard this from others, but in my schools there doesn't seem to be such a barrier between the sexes.

In fact, I think when I constantly have to tell a pair of students to be quiet, it's almost always a boy-girl pair.

And I find students in general, even with each other, and even with me are far touchier than American teens. I now regularly use my students as arm rests, regardless of whether it is a boy or a girl, because they seem to find it hilarious when I do it. The fact that it is clearly okay is something that was very hard for me to grasp at first.

I'm more worried about going back to America and being weirded out by students "frigidness" if I teach there. Things I think would clearly get me slapped with sexual harassment in the States, and would have never thought of doing to/with my students before coming here, have now become routine and normal. Obviously, it's important to note that while I have great affection for my students, there's nothing beyond that.

Oh, and an addition to the topic: Japanese people talk in elevators.

I can't do it. Freaks me out.

I often physically move my students around, for example when putting them into groups. I wouldn't dream of doing that back home. The idea of physically dragging British college students is just surreal.

Another thing: I just got a haircut and the guy cutting it starting trying to tell me about how poorly endowed he is. My Japanese isn't great so it required some imaginative gestures for me to understand! I'm not sure that would happen at home. It's happened a few times now in Japan and my Japanese doesn't stretch to "it's what you do with it that counts" etc. I just nod sympathetically.

I think you'll just have to work really hard on being generally unattractive. Talk in a deep voice and blow your nose loudly and regularly. That'll scare off any unwanted suitors!

lol okay, I'll keep that in mind because I'd like guy friends.

What IS it with that? I didn't get it anywhere near so much as others, but yeah. Every now and then, Boom! Hands out of ~nowhere~.

Especially creepy when it's old ladies (kimono-fitting, a much more alarming experience than it should be); although that did allow us to determine over time that the universal sound effect for boobs is 'buh-boing!"

And maybe it was just the people at my uni, but a lot of boy-to-boy spanking. Make of that what you will.

Does anyone know if Japanese teachers (and their boobs!) are treated the same way? The Japanese teachers I've met have all be quite prim and proper so it's hard to imagine it.

I don't know about women, but I've read blog with a male teacher who described kids making a game out of who could grab his ding-dong the most during the day. It was pretty funny to read, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Wow i learned things i never knew before

HAHAHA! :D :p :rolleyes: was laughing so hard after reading that...

That was AZ. He also talks about students coming up behind him and trying to stick their fingers up his butt while yelling "Kancho!" (enema). Strange kids.

Yeah, they did do that too. I guess the kids had another idea of what people's personal boundaries are.

Wait a second, is that actually true? I honestly can't imagine people not being offended by other people commenting on the size of their nose, for example.

He's talking about experiences he's had that have shocked him.

These are things people would have said to him or things he has seen. I could write a similar piece about Thailand.

There is the international impression, and then the fact it isn't so on the ground.

All of the above examples are true in my experience.

I don't teach elementary, but the coworkers I have that do tell me they have had the above experiences.

I am surprised not at all by the "private-grabbing" as that is fairly normal in my experience, even at the junior high level.

If a student gets a crush on you, watch out!

Just out of interest, what kinds of things happen in Thailand? Similar stuff?

To me, the interesting things about Japan are its self-image and its reputation overseas. I think a lot of people come here expecting ultra-obedient kids and extreme politeness everywhere they go, which is of course isn't going to be the case anywhere. It makes all the everyday stuff mentioned in this thread quite a shock when you first arrive.

Hehehe, where do I start? It is difficult for me to write it in a funny way.

Just some examples (these are all things they claim not to do);

They burn books (this is a democracy, aparently).

They only respect the law when it suits them.

They only respect a vote ballet when it goes in their favor; minorities here have changed fairly elected governments using money and military force, even though that wasn't the wish of the majority (recently; the illegal government is still in power).

They call this place the "Land of Smiles"; smiles are all fake here, they just want your money.

They brag about being so polite people; I refuse to go to KFC, McDonalds or Burger King anymore, simply I am sick of people pushing in front of me in the line. It is funny, but, as soon as you tap them on the shoulder and look them in the eye then they back off, so they knew what they were doing. They only have manners when eye contact is being made, like a dog. Another example of poor manners whenever they don't have to look you in the eye is driving on the road. Ihave been intentionally pushed off the road on my motorbike and into the gutter before by people in utes. Not polite at all.

You can also go to jail for spitting here, as it is considered dirty. This is funny, because it is not uncommon they share saliva covered spoons with each other when eating, anyway.

Just stuff like this. They claim many things about themself, and are such proud people. Really, it is a complete mess.

Wow, sounds a bit harsh Tenchu! Daily life in Japan is actually pretty sweet for foreigners IMO. Sounds like Thailand's a lot tougher. Hey, at least people smile even if not everyone means it. We brits don't even pretend to like each other, even if we're working in shops and being paid to be nice!

Yeah, I hate fake stuff.

I went back to Australia for just 2 days not long ago. I went to the supermarket and the girls kept asking "And how are you, sir?" and "Are you having a good day?"

I was like "What the fuck?" As if she cares...