An anecdote.
 

I've been really pensive lately. I don't know why, but I tend to analyze every little detail that happens in my life nowadays, whether it has anything to do with Japan or not. I have a quick story I'd like to share, and then I gladly ask for your opinions.

I was leading a tour for new students who had just arrived in Tokyo. The object was to familiarize them with the area and show them some of the sights and sounds in a controlled environment (ie; so they don't get lost). I was assigned to go to Shibuya, and then Harajuku.

Towards the end of the day, I was outside of the Family Mart on the corner of Takeshita Dorii, smoking a cigarette. A few of the students I was showing around were inside the conbini, looking at all of the stuff there was to buy. However, there was a single female from the group standing outside with me. To make short conversation, I asked her what she thought of Tokyo so far. She replied that she felt like she didn't belong. My immediate reaction was to look at the students inside the conbini, and I asked her if she wasn't getting along with them.

She then told me that she meant that she felt like she didn't belong in Japan. To this, I was taken aback. At the time of this story, they'd only been in Tokyo for 2 days or so. She then proceeded to describe how no matter how hard she would ever try to learn the language or the culture, she'd always never fully fit in. I felt she was being a bit pessimistic, but she did have a point.This led me to think of all of the stuff I read on these forums every day. This girl came here on a whim, and she decided it wasn't for her. She still feels that way today, and is now just waiting out the semester.

So I ask those of you who wish to pack your bags and move to Japan without ever stepping foot over here before; what makes you think you'll succeed? What makes you thing you'll enjoy your time, that you'll fit in? What is driving you so hard to come here? What if i doesn't meet your expectations?

Now, I don't want to seem unfair. I pledge similar questions to those who have made a life here in Japan. Why did you take the risk? Are you happy with the outcome? Was your choice naive?

In retrospect, my decision was naive. I'd never been to Japan, but I packed my bags and moved here. Luckily things worked out. But not everyone shares the same vigor. I'm now curious to hear your take.

Maybe the better question is;
Do you want to belong and fit into the culture?

It's because I don't belong and I don't fit in that I do so well here.
It's because I don't belong and I don't fit in that my attempts to do so are very well accepted and even praised at times by those who seem to think it's harder to do than it really is.

Fitting in and belonging is way overrated imo.
You can make friends just the same, enjoy your life just the same.
If anything there's a huge lack of peer pressure etc if you decide to accept the role of "that person that doesn't quite fit in".

Eh, I don't know if that's the better question. I mean, it is a plausible one, but it doesn't really sum up what I'm curious about.

After one has accepted that they're different (which many people do prior coming to Japan, hence their attraction to it), I want to know why they think their life will be better in a society that they aren't from, especially if they've never even been there. What makes you not like your own home country so much that you think you'll thrive here? (or you don't have to not like your own country, but I see a lot of that).

posted by WIngs. "In retrospect, my decision was naive. I'd never been to Japan, but I packed my bags and moved here. Luckily things worked out. But not everyone shares the same vigor. I'm now curious to hear your take."




HI WIngs are you planning to remain in Japan for a long time?

maybe that girl was homesick and feeling totally out of her depth.

It must be a culture shock really.

I haven't decided yet. My visa is good for a further 2 years, so I'll decide then. My biggest fear is losing my edge in the market in America by being over here, in the event that I decide to go home. I'm losing out on networking and establishment by being over here, unless I take up a job over here. All of the jobs will potentially be taken up by my peers.
I was already thinking this, but it was actually reaffirmed when I read a Japanese article a friend lent me describing the same thing happening to Japanese students studying abroad in the west, only to come back to no job opportunities and no connections.

thanks well I wish you every success after all you have taken a gamble but sometimes gambles do work.

you will have had a unique experience and probably lots extra to offer compared to some of the American students. You took a risk but that can be good, shows that you are willing to Have a Go and explore new avenues.

I imagine a lot of people don't feel like they fit in much more wherever they come from than they do in Japan.

It's simple really, you'll never really know until you do it...no matter if your initial interest in the country is realistic or not, you have to try it to come to a conclusion.

If you want to live in Japan, for whatever reason, then the only way you can gauge how well you'll manage to do so, is by doing it. Not by visiting the country, reading about it or watching it on t.v. You actually have to live there to be able to tell how well you'll be able to do in that country. Even if you're somehow guaranteed a stable and comfortable income, it is crucial to understand that living transcends financial capabilities.

It's just something you have to experience if you have the interest. It may work out for some, it may not for others and maybe some will have to adjust themselves and so on.

It happens no matter where it is you're planning to live.

I can agree, the only way to experience something is to do so firsthand.

Honestly, I can't see myself ever doing much more than visiting Japan. I don't think I'd ever want to live there, honestly. Seems a bit too restrictive for my liking; I detest their gun politics.

One of the things with living up this way is that we have a great community of expats living and working at the ski resort year round. They are from the US, Canada, Australia, NZ, UK and various other European countries and all of us have a love of skiing and the outdoors. Most are here for the layed back rural lifestyle surrounded by beautiful mountains, forests, rivers, lakes and coastline. We also have a great Japanese community, many of whom speak fluent english, who are here for the same reasons. Many of them have spent time overseas and live and work up here to further their english and because they prefer working for foreign owned companies. It's a very tight community and we do many things together throughout the year. All this has meant that it really hasn't been that much of culture shock to live here and it's certainly not difficult to fit in. We don't have to fully lose ourselves in Japanese culture to fit in. We can just be ourselves and enjoy the amazing lifestyle this region has to offer.

I think RealJames really hit on something with this comment...
And this is probably one of the driving reasons that a lot of people decide to up and run off to Japan. It`s one of the big things I try to get people who want to live in Japan because they hate life at home to realize - that you don`t have to go so incredibly far away to escape a life you`re not happy with. You can move to the next town over, start anew, and have a much better chance of fitting in than you do in Japan. This is particularly true when people have an image of Japan that draws a lot from popular media and stories/photos of people dressing up in Tokyo.

It is a weirdly difficult subject for me to instantly bash anyone for, as I was in a situation where moving to Japan would without any doubt be much better than any future that awaited me at the time...
However, my image of Japan was a much different one than the modern media supports. I made my life altering decisions back before anime was mainstream, there were probably only a few series (Ranma?) out dubbed or subbed, and back either before or just after Sailor Moon started on tv. (Didn`t watch it, so am not sure - but people did ask me for stuff when I was heading back to the US the first time.) There wasn`t the media overflow of "cool Japan" - and the popular image was just starting to inch out of the "Japan Inc." days.

My main drive in choosing Japan over anywhere else was that a) through some amazing fluke I found the language incredibly easy to pick up... b) No one else seemed to find it easy. c)There was real future job potential with high level Japanese as no one spoke it or was learning it at the time. (When I was looking into universities, there were only a handful in the country that offered beyond 102! How things have changed...) I saw it as a chance to gain a very valuable skill to give me the chance to go somewhere in life. Plus, the universities offering degrees in East Asian Languages allowed you to test out based on skill. I figured that I could cut the length of my university education in half - great when the university charges on a time scale and not credit scale.

I came to Japan, "fit in", was incredibly happy, didn`t have trouble with language or homesickness, etc... So stayed pretty much straight from then on.

It`s hard to say don`t go, but very easy to tell someone to try things out before making a huge leap.

Jobs are hard to come by here anyway, i know people who graduated from college and are sitting on their butts, or people going to get grad degress ONLY because they cant find a job. So coming back and networking wont solve anything. Job market is tuff. So you arent missing out much.

I think Nyororin's comments are pretty spot on.

What I see sometimes is people saying "I don't fit in, in my hometown, so might as well go to Japan, where I like it [I think] and I am not going to fit in anyway."

Trust me, it is a WHOLE 'nother level of not fitting in. At least in your hometown (chances are) you speak the native tongue fluently, you look like your neighbors, you know your way around without asking a lot of questions, and you at least have family and some friends you can talk to.

When I was taken to my apartment in Japan, I was literally dropped off in the afternoon and told to be ready for work at 8 the next day (I got a ride the first day). That was fine, I found a restaurant to grab a bite and a shot bar to grab a beer and meet the locals. Over 15 years later I still visit that bar whenever I go back... it was my hangout for three years.

But I wasn't running away from anything, I was running to a new experience in Japan. There is a difference.

I agree with both of you Nyorin and MMM. This is one time where I'm not quick to judge people, because I did the same thing. Granted I wasn't running away from anything back home, but rather I was looking forward to a great future experience.
I just have a hard time grasping that people would want to attempt such an extreme that isn't that positive. Living in Japan is great, but along with that comes possible culture shock, language barrier, etc., which is soo much harder than what you would have had back home if you would have just moved to another area if you really don't like your home town.
It's definitely romanticism.

I wonder what some people actually expect to find when going to Japan.

I came here hoping there was a chance I could find a better alternative than the (very good and comfortable) live I'd carved out for myself back at home.

I was expecting a short fun trip then back to reality. I wasn't expecting to stay honestly, and was surprised that the place offered me a better life than I had back at home, it was a tall order.

It was definitely worth the shot.

Some people aren't running, and they fit in wherever they go, and they aren't afraid to take the risk of finding something better. ;)

Most people are not running... I think we were just looking at the ones who are.

Welcome to the forums! And your English is great :)

I wonder if most people who think Japan is great and will solve all their life problems also on a deeper level realize that it's probably not true, or if they really are so foolish.

Having said that, if I look at it empirically, I do think that life in Japan is better. When I compare the weight of the pros and cons with Japan and the places I have lived, it just comes out on top. Not by a landslide but noticeably. That's definitely a personal opinion though. If you like weed this place isn't for you lol.

I expected to find some of the best powder snow on the planet and found it plus so much more. I had been here on ski holidays for over 4 months on a couple of trips before deciding to live here. I know most people on this forum love Japan for it's cultural aspects but for me it was and always will be the amazing climate and landscapes. I've grown to love many aspects of the culture of course but it is the natural world that is most important to me and what I fell in love with here. To live in an area with a large group of people who also love the outdoors and snow and snowsports has been a great experience. Some of the happiest times of my life have been here in Japan.

I too went there before anime and manga was as common and popular as it is today... Ranma and a few others were the only ones around. I didn't choose Japan for that reason, though it was a plus. I wanted a chance to live and work in an overseas country. I looked at Peace Corp, teaching in Korea and Taiwan, and several other options and decided JET and Japan were the best choice, so that's where I went. I knew no Japanese at all when I got there, and like the girl in your anecdote, I knew that I would never learn enough to be truly fluent and comfortable there. Plus, I'm just too independent to fit into Japan's group-based culture. So I saw it as a temporary adventure, a limited time to make the most of, seeing and doing as much as possible before heading home. Staying permanently never entered my mind.

I found this article about living in Japan and how even long-timers still are seen as foreigners and will never integrate. I've been watching NHK for a while now and Peter Barakan hosts the program Begin Japanology and I've often heard him speak in fluent Japanese and often wondered how he would be treated there. I thought it'd be an interesting read....

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