Dude.. just nevermind.. no matter what I say you already have it all figured out just like bobby.... so whatever.... enjoy your ideas while they can last in your mind. Later..;)

I Love your mind Gahzirra!

based purely on what I've read from her posts, and on the people I've met here too, Nyororin is about the maximum any westerner can fit into Japanese culture

if you think you can attain that degree without having moved there at a much younger age, you're deluded,

what do you think Nyororin?
Can someone who moves to Japan at a later stage in their lives hope to fit in to the culture the way you do?
How much do you feel you fit in?

But I wouldn't go to Rome in a Toga, carrying a sword shouting 'Gladiator! Long live the Emperor!'

As such, I wouldn't go into Tokyo in clothing that hasn't been worn for a very long time.

If someone came here to Britain dressed as a knight or king randomly walking around the street... I'd be a little worried.

If you're American, wouldn't you feel a little strange if a bunch of foreigners started coming over dressed as cowboys wrangling cattle? Walking the streets as Matadors if you're Spanish?

Again... context, context, context.

I hope you're not implying that kimonos haven't been worn for a long time. Every single day that I have traveled in Japan, I have seen a woman in a kimono.

Matador outfits aren't normal street clothes; they are purpose-designed costumes.

I really have no idea, to be honest. It is going to depend very much on the person.
I don`t recall trying to "fit in" at any point, I think that I just had several advantages lined up for me. First - I was raised until 12 by strict grandparents. Second - I attended a fairly strict private school before coming to Japan. Both of those things ended up being somewhat close to the Japanese childhood experience (in my opinion), and I think this helped me not to encounter any huge shocks when shifting over to life in Japan. The third would be that I came to Japan before becoming an adult, so all my true "coming of age", reaching independency stuff happened here. I don`t really know what it is like to be an adult outside of this country. I have observed, but I have never had to personally make a living or do any of those adult things outside of Japan. I also came to Japan early enough that it wasn`t hard to pick up the language fluently and without noticeable accent.
And, well, I assume my personality alone has a lot to do with adjustment. I`m just not someone who needs a tightly knit net of family nearby.

The key is likely that part of my growing up was done in Japan in an average Japanese setting. Whether someone without that experience can do the same thing - I don`t know.

I am comfortable and don`t feel any problems. I am clearly not Japanese, but I can`t think of anything that really sets me apart from my Japanese peers and friends other than appearance. I used to think that the horror and discomfort I felt in very formal situations was due to not really fitting in... But as most of my friends are the same way, I no longer think so.
My friends are people I get along with who share the same interests - which is, well, pretty normal.

I would say the part that I fit in least is my handwriting. I came to Japan well after everyone had finished with all that, and into a school that allowed everything to be printed... so... well, while I can read with no problems - my handwriting sucks so I avoid writing anything by hand.

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My personal opinion - chances are, if you`re gung-ho about fitting in, and you go out of your way to do things you think will help you fit in... You`re probably not going to. Going through the motions is fine, I suppose, but overdoing it (as it seems most people who are making active efforts to fit in, making "assimilation" their goal do) will just make you stand out more. If you have to push and make the effort, you`re going to be trying to change who you are. The same as in a relationship, if you`re pretending to be someone you aren`t, eventually you`re going to be frustrated or your true colors will show through. Even if it isn`t "Japanese" - you`re likely much better off in the long run being yourself while being careful to remember basic cultural rules than trying to maintain a facade and going crazy with frustration.

I`ve never tried to fit in, or to be anyone other than myself. In my case, I suppose I am just lucky because "myself" doesn`t have any trouble fitting in.

these customs are generally no longer practiced in their respective countries,

where as in Japan they are.

but, hundreds of years ago if a Japanese person came to Britain dressed as a knight, it would be weird ;)
or, if a Japanese person went to America a few hundred years ago dressed as a cowboy it would be funny as hell, and no one would have consider that Japanese person to be American regardless, not even that Japanese person :)

Thanks for answer, I think it pretty well summarizes the issues raised in this thread.

Personally I wouldn't want to fit in, I benefit very much from not fitting in and am so very happy to be the different one.
So long as I'm not being ostracized (too much) then I reap the benefits of being the outsider while still being on the inside somewhat, as much as I am comfortable being there that is.

Ugghh, man you are not some special snowflake. I am just playing devil's advocate and am by no means a Japanophile. Just can't stand when someone thinks there idea of "I moved to Japan, I chose to speak the language, I follow many of the customs" but that's me I am normal...the guy that wears the yukata yea he is trying to fit. LMFAO you even recounted the story yourself when you first came to Japan, the other kids picked on you cause you had a passion for Japan they did not share(read- to them you were fitting in and were a kiss a$$ hence why you were picked on).

The hypocrisy of this just annoys me. You are automatically assuming the guy doing these things is out of a need to fit in...how do you know he just doesn't have a passion for Japan like you did?? Ohh yea, that's right... SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE you and all the others who moved to Japan you did it out of a passion for the country but your level of "fitting in" is normal..psshh.

Spare me the BS of I am an individual I don't fit it I am just "myself"...I enjoy being the outsider. Ya, as much as you think you are some rebel you are not, and it's funny you chose a culture/country where conformity is paramount.