Hey I'm sorry if that came out wrong, I didn't mean to imply you have to be worried :)

Haha no worries, I'm only teasing you :p

To be honest, you are young. You shouldn't be thinking about having children at all, you should be out having fun and living your life. They are not something to worry about or dwell on until the time comes. For now, go and have fun.

Saying that I totally have the inability to emphathise with you as I really do not like children and don't plan on having any.

Your mind will most likely change, then even if you don't like other children, you will like your own. there are exceptions. but that is the rule.

Completely true. Most of the friends I have who are parents hates children except their own. I'll be the same. I can't stand them when they belong to other people.

That is what people ALWAYS tell me. I have an irrational deteste of babies, and that is something I am certain will not change. I know my own mind, and I know that my career is far more important to me than anything else.

If I was going to have children, I'd adopt older ones. Besides, the world is overpopulated enough without me having anymore.

And when someone in the 18-early 20's range voice their desire to be a parent, people ALWAYS tell them that they're young and still have their whole world ahead of them. They also know their own mind. So I guess everyone will just have to deal with each others comments ;)

Actually in this thread, a lot of people haven't. I was sharing my beliefs, I wasn't telling her she was wrong, just that I didn't believe that it was right to be thinking about those things at such a young age.

I also said I could be totally wrong based on the fact I don't like children. That was the significance of my comment.

Me, my wife and most parents use to say the same thing. Really! OUr minds don't change just because. We don't love our children just because. It's due to biochemical changes in the body and brain. That stuff really can't be controlled.

Even so, it doesn't mean I will. There are so many reasons I do not want them. In my opinion they are a waste of time, effort, and money.

Again it's the whole, you are 17 so you'll change your mind thing xD

Calm down I was only teasing...really, you take my comments way too seriously.

Ah sorry! It's really hard to tell when people are being serious or joking online ^___^;;

Again, it's not about changing your mind - body chemistry. That's like saying you probably won't becoem hungry.

There are plenty of people that don't have children.

I'm Afraid of being a parent. One of my biggest fears is that I'll mistreat my children. Not by spanking or disiplining them but something serious. And I dunno it scares me alot.

There is no need to be worried about all this.
Once the time comes and you have your first child, it will come naturally.
I'm only 15 (16 on the 18th), but I hear/read/see it all the time. People in fear of being a good mother, but once the time happens, all the fear is gone and it all comes naturally.

And there is no need to quit your job to be a good mother. That's ridiculous.

And anyways, you're only 18 and have your life ahead of you. I'd just relax and have fun. Worrying about all of this now is not good for you.

There are a lot of nonsense replies in this thread. It's not difficult to raise a child, how many children do you see on any given day? People who waste too much time thinking about the particulars often overlook the bigger picture.

Firstly, there is no perfect time to have a child. You can say "I'll wait until I'm 30" only to find that you are too busy with other things when the time comes. Let things occur naturally, and the child will come when nature decides.

I've already said that it isn't difficult to raise a child, pretty much anyone can do it. But raising a child properly is another matter. Each person's definition of "properly" is probably a little different, but the basic idea is the same; you want your child to grow up to be an honest and responsible person.

In order to teach honesty and responsibility, you need to practice them yourself. Children learn more by example than by any other means. Do not lie to your children, and be sure to teach them that there are consequences for all actions in life, good and bad.

Don't be too much of a "friend" to your children. You are a parent, not a friend. Let them explore, let them experiment, but set firm boundaries. Some actions are unacceptable, and the earlier they learn that, the less grief they (and you) will experience later on in life.

Keep an eye on your children's friends. There will always be at least one bad one; children learn as much from their friends as they do from their parents. When children have problems in life and in school, it is often due to a lack of attention from their parents, and this lack is often made up for by their friends. Like it or not, children often behave like their friends do, if these friends are good, it's not a problem, but if they are bad, then your child may begin to behave as they do.

Raising children is an important responsibility, the most important. Once you have children, everything else become secondary. We live on through our children, and the natural way of things is that we prepare our children for life so that theirs is at least a little better than ours.

Very well said **:pinkbow:

Sangetsu's advice is top class. Everyone should read it.

I also want to bold out that fact that there's not one given way to raise a child every parent is different, the media bulls when they tell you how a parent should be. A parent should act responsibly depending on the situation. You Must act as a parent when raising him/her, and then later on in life when they are old enough they can be your friend. =]

If you think of your child as a friend you'll have problems raising them in their teen years.

Dun worry, you would be fine.
 

Dun worry, i sure you would a great mother. you dun hav 2 cry bout. Hey, think of the positive side. You never noe wad the future. Maybe, four years down the road, you would be voted for the best mother awards. Seriously, dun worry, hav more faith in yourself. And bout the clumisness. I am aso very clusmy myself. Thus, i always get scolded by my mum. k, wad i am saying is tat many ppl are also clumsy and i tink tat clumisness is wad make the girls cuter. u noe, in manga and anime(if you ever read or watch one), the main heroin is alway clusmy and tat make the main guy fall for her, rite? so, juz imagine yourself as the main heroin. And last, about scolding children. yes, i know, many children would get angry when their mother scold them. i, too, get angry with my mother when she scold and i always told myself tat i would never talk to her again. But, you noe wad, i can never do it. maybe, i can stop talking to her for one day but never more than two days. and you noe why, because i love her and i know that she scold me for my own good. it help me to change into a better person. So i am sure that your future kids would understand why you scold them and tat when you scold them, it shows that you care for them. Even though, they might get angry and might say that they hate you when you scold them, but i sure deep down inside they dun mean it and they still love you, cause no kids can ever hate their parents. I noe tat wad i say might not help you much but i juz want you know that it is not a unclumsiness and stong woman makes a good mother but it is love and compassion that make a wonderful mother. Remember, hav more faith in yourself. You can do it.:vsign:

I'd say to my kids, if I ever have any, that if they aren't good, I'm selling them to medical experiments!

But yeah, I love babies, and if I didn't I have to put up with them anyway... I have a 2 year old sister.

Agreed, Sangetsu's advice is spot on. I just have one thing to ask:
Isn't this the line of thinking that convinces 16-18 year old girls and couples to have a child, only to bring them into a world in which they can't afford economically or emotionally?

Either way,
A lot of the time, parents will blur the lines, which should remain distinct and seperate, between loving their children and parenting their children. To be a bad ass parent, know the difference between the two. Love your child(ren) unconditionally; without that you cannot be a good parent. Then it's just a matter of "training" your child by slowly introducing them to concepts, which are being thrown at them at an alarming rate.

And know that your children are smart; incredibly smart. I can't stand looking at these parents who treat their children like retarded sacks of flesh. Half of the time, children know more about the underlying principles that govern the world than their parents do, since we're all caught up in the material workings and operations of how the world functions.

~waves~ hola, hi an all that. Just a couple of things. I completely understand not liking faeces, or vomit, etc, but if you're wanting to have kids (be it by birth or adoption) at the very least, they're going to vomit (even if they aren't babies).

You really have to face everything, not just an idealistic view of having kids.

I think adoption is a wonderful thing to do (especially considering there are so many children wordwide who could benefit from it) but it is also expensive to go through the process, so keep that in mind. The cost varies country to country, but it's always in the 1000's.

Kids cost money, time, effort and love, and you can't just pick the sunshine from the storms if you're diving into having kids. You will be responsible for their wellfare, health and happiness from the day they are born (or you adopt) til the day they leave home for good.

Good luck with getting a kid (hn. that sounds like you're gonna grab one off the street. Don't do that, by the way ^^;), and a little bit of advice- if you really want kids, and you're only 16-18/19- why not try doing some babysitting of kids of various ages to get a little insight?

-shrugs- Talk to parents, read some books, if you really want more info, though keep in mind everyone else's opinions are just that- THEIR opinions. It doesn't mean it's wrong, but it doesn't mean you have to listen to any of us ^^

cheers,

malee

i think you are worrying a bit too soon. Don't worry about it until the time comes and you are married and planning a family. Same to the 16 year old in here.

your right, classes are not likely to make you a good parent, better maybe, but not good. we do learn alot from our own Parents, but that doesn't mean you will follow in their footsteps either. if your not planning to have kids soon, it seems a bit premature to worry about this, and maybe that indicates a deeper issue that is bothering you. i suggest you figure out what that issue is first and work on that. then maybe you can determine for yourself if you are fit to be a good parent. your awfully young and you have alot of growing and learning to do yet. don't rush growing up just so you can have a grown up life. having a family is not as easy or glamorous as some young people think. when you do take that step just be sure your ready. good luck!

You will never, EVER be a good parent.

I will take your baby and put it in the microwave. Then it will pop!

Are you guys still talking to the OP? You realize she hasn't been on JF since the day she made this thread last August, right?

I think it's cute that everyone at JF are so nice they don't automatically realize they're being trolled.
:D

It's okay, others will also benefit from different points of views regarding the topic.

It'd be a bit hard to procreate the human race if we all believed that now, wouldn't it?

Parenting is easy!
 

Now that you've set your mind on it, you have started preparing to become a good parent. The moment you have your very first baby, your world will change and you will view life differently.

You can also read books about parenting and I recommend understanding children websites.

There you will find useful tips about understanding children and parenting. Happy viewing.:mtongue: :ywave:

Dude, this thread is ridiculous and it was dead. Why oh why did you revive it?

Please look at when the last post was made next time, you are talking to an OP (probably a troll) who will never look at this thread again.

for parrenting you need a good prepare,,,,first you need a good emotion to handle a trouble......its not only make a children....you dont have to worry about it....bcoz your god...have someone to be your husband,,,one thing you need is relax...and enjoy your life....i think you need somekind of play and have fun with your group or do your job if you have a skill.um...do you 18 dont you? you only need have fun....its just a process....live is process.....you only have to enjoy your process...and cheer up....:D :D :D

Parenting is the most important job in the world. I am a gr mother and parenting is not easy especially when both parents have to work.


It is a great responsibility and important as our children are the next generation. aand the future of the world will be in their hands. We have a duty to care for our own children and bring them up with respect for others.

Discipline is important for without it children are like wild animals until taught how to behave.

It should be a labour of love and using much common sense.

I read somewhere that in Japan the birth rate is down? Not sure if that is so or not.

if you learn to love the little moments.
if you love spending time with your baby, teaching will be natural.

always remember, never be in to big a rush to teach the baby.
a good mental health for a baby isnt learned over night.
it isnt learned over a few years. Being able to feel where your babies intelligence is is the key to teaching it the tiny next step in every aspect of life.
dont worry about rushing in a perfect baby. you can only teach her little things at a time.
raising voices doesnt do it.
stoping and remaining firm, and strongly putting your foot down, (With a smile afterwards) will.

you cant just say "Dont do this X" and expect that to correct the issue.
its a matter of slowly persuading the babies character.
of coarse, you want to stay far enough back to let the child grow up wit his or her own thoughts, but remind her of values alone the way.
always make small little comments along the way, about things you love and respect and value. for example, when your listening to the radio, once in a while.

If you love spending time with your child. You will be fine :)

Sry, my advice was sparatic, and spread around different ages.

wow.. nice girl, not many girls are having such kind of thinking
if u try to think like this, I believe in the future u'll be a good one :)