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-   -   I'm only 18 but I'm already worrying about parenting... Will I be a good mother? (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/parenting-japan/18126-im-only-18-but-im-already-worrying-about-parenting-will-i-good-mother.html)

Hisuwashi 12-12-2008 03:38 PM

I'd say to my kids, if I ever have any, that if they aren't good, I'm selling them to medical experiments!

But yeah, I love babies, and if I didn't I have to put up with them anyway... I have a 2 year old sister.

ThirdSight 12-14-2008 07:25 PM

Agreed, Sangetsu's advice is spot on. I just have one thing to ask:
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sangetsu (Post 561264)
Firstly, there is no perfect time to have a child. You can say "I'll wait until I'm 30" only to find that you are too busy with other things when the time comes. Let things occur naturally, and the child will come when nature decides.

Isn't this the line of thinking that convinces 16-18 year old girls and couples to have a child, only to bring them into a world in which they can't afford economically or emotionally?

Either way,
A lot of the time, parents will blur the lines, which should remain distinct and seperate, between loving their children and parenting their children. To be a bad ass parent, know the difference between the two. Love your child(ren) unconditionally; without that you cannot be a good parent. Then it's just a matter of "training" your child by slowly introducing them to concepts, which are being thrown at them at an alarming rate.

And know that your children are smart; incredibly smart. I can't stand looking at these parents who treat their children like retarded sacks of flesh. Half of the time, children know more about the underlying principles that govern the world than their parents do, since we're all caught up in the material workings and operations of how the world functions.

malee 01-21-2009 04:42 AM

~waves~ hola, hi an all that. Just a couple of things. I completely understand not liking faeces, or vomit, etc, but if you're wanting to have kids (be it by birth or adoption) at the very least, they're going to vomit (even if they aren't babies).

You really have to face everything, not just an idealistic view of having kids.

I think adoption is a wonderful thing to do (especially considering there are so many children wordwide who could benefit from it) but it is also expensive to go through the process, so keep that in mind. The cost varies country to country, but it's always in the 1000's.

Kids cost money, time, effort and love, and you can't just pick the sunshine from the storms if you're diving into having kids. You will be responsible for their wellfare, health and happiness from the day they are born (or you adopt) til the day they leave home for good.

Good luck with getting a kid (hn. that sounds like you're gonna grab one off the street. Don't do that, by the way ^^;), and a little bit of advice- if you really want kids, and you're only 16-18/19- why not try doing some babysitting of kids of various ages to get a little insight?

-shrugs- Talk to parents, read some books, if you really want more info, though keep in mind everyone else's opinions are just that- THEIR opinions. It doesn't mean it's wrong, but it doesn't mean you have to listen to any of us ^^

cheers,

malee

UsagiSarah 02-26-2009 09:19 PM

i think you are worrying a bit too soon. Don't worry about it until the time comes and you are married and planning a family. Same to the 16 year old in here.

spiritsaid2 04-17-2009 06:52 PM

your right, classes are not likely to make you a good parent, better maybe, but not good. we do learn alot from our own Parents, but that doesn't mean you will follow in their footsteps either. if your not planning to have kids soon, it seems a bit premature to worry about this, and maybe that indicates a deeper issue that is bothering you. i suggest you figure out what that issue is first and work on that. then maybe you can determine for yourself if you are fit to be a good parent. your awfully young and you have alot of growing and learning to do yet. don't rush growing up just so you can have a grown up life. having a family is not as easy or glamorous as some young people think. when you do take that step just be sure your ready. good luck!

Ojamajoz 04-18-2009 10:31 PM

You will never, EVER be a good parent.

I will take your baby and put it in the microwave. Then it will pop!

MMM 04-18-2009 10:34 PM

Are you guys still talking to the OP? You realize she hasn't been on JF since the day she made this thread last August, right?

SaintKat 05-04-2009 02:37 AM

I think it's cute that everyone at JF are so nice they don't automatically realize they're being trolled.
:D

vayz 07-05-2009 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM (Post 700096)
Are you guys still talking to the OP? You realize she hasn't been on JF since the day she made this thread last August, right?

It's okay, others will also benefit from different points of views regarding the topic.

Hisuwashi 07-05-2009 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissMisa (Post 559402)
Even so, it doesn't mean I will. There are so many reasons I do not want them. In my opinion they are a waste of time, effort, and money.

Again it's the whole, you are 17 so you'll change your mind thing xD

It'd be a bit hard to procreate the human race if we all believed that now, wouldn't it?


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