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-   -   I Need American Type Of Love From JP female (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/relationship-talk/18487-i-need-american-type-love-jp-female.html)

kurokumachan 08-23-2008 10:18 PM

I Need American Type Of Love From JP female
 
I know many japanese families dont hug and kiss their children or each other so it may be hard to grow up knowing how to do these things and even feeling good about it. However many japanese women watch korean drama, which has a lot of kissing and touching etc. so its not something that it totally foreign. Would a japanese girl be willing to let herself grow to be more affectionate in a relationship?

Nyororin 08-24-2008 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kurokumachan (Post 568507)
I know many japanese families dont hug and kiss their children or each other so it may be hard to grow up knowing how to do these things and even feeling good about it.

Japanese MOTHERS hug and kiss their children, sleep next them until well into grade school, bathe with them until close to adulthood, etc.
Affection at home in a family setting is a lot different than customs when walking around in public.

Japanese fathers, on the other hand, have a history of being a bit distant from the children - although this is changing a lot in recent years. But as I presume you`re an adult (or at least old enough to not be of the current generation of children) the chance that her father was very close is fairly low.

Quote:

However many japanese women watch korean drama, which has a lot of kissing and touching etc. so its not something that it totally foreign. Would a japanese girl be willing to let herself grow to be more affectionate in a relationship?
You`re assuming it`s a foreign concept to begin with.
It`s not. People just don`t go around getting all that touchy feely in public.

Love and affection are not American concepts. If you want "American" love, date an American.

JoshAussie 08-24-2008 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nyororin (Post 568770)
Japanese MOTHERS hug and kiss their children, sleep next them until well into grade school, bathe with them until close to adulthood, etc.
Affection at home in a family setting is a lot different than customs when walking around in public.

Japanese fathers, on the other hand, have a history of being a bit distant from the children - although this is changing a lot in recent years. But as I presume you`re an adult (or at least old enough to not be of the current generation of children) the chance that her father was very close is fairly low.



You`re assuming it`s a foreign concept to begin with.
It`s not. People just don`t go around getting all that touchy feely in public.

Love and affection are not American concepts. If you want "American" love, date an American.

Sorry but did i just read that correctly???

Paul11 08-24-2008 12:10 PM

This is perfectly rediculous! JF is not a mail order bride site! Why is it people can't read a book, get a Japanese dictionary or look anything up before asking these rubish question!

and yes parents bathe with thier kids. No big deal.

Nyororin 08-24-2008 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoshAussie (Post 568771)
Sorry but did i just read that correctly???

Yes, you did.
Ever hear of onsen? Adults who don`t even know each other bathe together without anything sexual happening at all.
If you`re thinking anything other than body cleansing, you`re a bit sick.

xceeding 08-31-2008 10:14 PM

Hugging Japanese children
 
I used to assist in soccer coaching with a Japanese team here in California. I'm a white American and my son was a member of this team of 8 to 10 year olds, mostly the children of Japanese families who were temporary located in California by their companies.

There was an incident that stuck in my mind. A little Japanese girl, maybe 9 years old, was struck in the head by a soccer ball and begain crying her eyes out.

I immediately ran over, put my arm around her, and tried to comfort her until she stopped crying. The girl immediately stopped crying and then just looked at me with a very confused look in her face. After I was sure she was okay, I walked back to the sideline. I'll never forget the strange looks I got from the Japanese parents sitting on the sidelines, especially the fathers! Ugh! I often wondered if I did something wrong.

Would I do again? Well, yeah that's me.

Ryusword 09-09-2008 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoshAussie (Post 568771)
Sorry but did i just read that correctly???

LOL your mind went straight in the gutter huh? Parental Bonding is avery important thing to a Mother. The more you bond with your mother the more you and her will know each other. If it is so sick for a mother to bathe with her child then it is even more sick than a father to bathe his newborn daughter. Little things like these make the family more sound. Think about it! If you can't shower in the same room as your mom what makes you think you'll be able to get naked and crawl into bed with another women??? It's strange but research it. When you leave home you'd wish you had spent more time with your parents. These parents are just showing that they love and care about who they are protecting in this world.:rolleyes:

Alan 09-09-2008 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xceeding (Post 573626)
I used to assist in soccer coaching with a Japanese team here in California. I'm a white American and my son was a member of this team of 8 to 10 year olds, mostly the children of Japanese families who were temporary located in California by their companies.

There was an incident that stuck in my mind. A little Japanese girl, maybe 9 years old, was struck in the head by a soccer ball and begain crying her eyes out.

I immediately ran over, put my arm around her, and tried to comfort her until she stopped crying. The girl immediately stopped crying and then just looked at me with a very confused look in her face. After I was sure she was okay, I walked back to the sideline. I'll never forget the strange looks I got from the Japanese parents sitting on the sidelines, especially the fathers! Ugh! I often wondered if I did something wrong.

Would I do again? Well, yeah that's me.

lol, yeah, being nice can get us in trouble sometimes.

kenmei 09-09-2008 05:39 PM

threadstarter is talking about girl-guy relationships not parent-children, i think most people got confused by his/her post.

that being said, being affectionate is great and becoming more acceptable between cupples, but it's still considered somewhat rude if done in public. small things are alright, but anything extreme is kind of a no-no. depends on the generations too, but I know it's kind of embarassing to be locking lips with my fiancee infront of kids/obachans just because it's not something of the norm. Hope that helpped.

Keaton421 09-11-2008 11:05 PM

Quote:

Love and affection are not American concepts. If you want "American" love, date an American.
Very true! Dang people wanting the greener grass all the time. "I want love and affection but she has to be a certain race"


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