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-   -   Over-reaching hospitality from Japanese. (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/relationship-talk/18532-over-reaching-hospitality-japanese.html)

MissMisa 08-31-2008 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xceeding (Post 573563)
I'm not sure what you mean by "never comes back." Hello I'm here! As for the flames I stirred, you obviously overate you opinion.

Okay so you never experienced these things, take a deep breath move on. There are others who have something to say besides you.

He was referring to a lot of members, who come on here, leave 'negative' comments about Japan [presumably to stir up trouble,] and seemingly people wrongly accused you of being one of those people, that was probably why you were getting so many negative responses.

That's why I was sort of defending you because everyone was jumping on the let's-attack-the-first-poster band wagon. Don't worry about it though, since you've actually come back you are likely to get some better responses from now.

xceeding 08-31-2008 08:48 PM

Another comment on the subject. A few misunderstandings seen.
 
When I receive what I call "over-reaching hospitality" from a Japanese person it's hard to criticize because I know in their heart they are trying to be nice and are looking out for my well-being.

I am a 51 year old man who has been married 23 years to a Japanese woman whom I met during my first visit to Japan in 1979. (Let this be a warning to you single guys considering visiting Japan!)

My 15-year-old son who is perfect bilingual and doesn't look Japanese, especially being 6'1" tall, often comments that Japanese people won't respond back to him in Japanese when he speaks. I thought it was just me who experienced this and I only speak simple Japanese!

My Japanese in-laws are wonderful people, but I wish they would treat me like a member of the family rather than an "honored guest." They say things like, "Sorry, no bread tonight. Is rice okay?" And I say, "Yes, of course." For the millionth time! They often bark at the waiter or waitress at a restaurant to bring the foreigner a fork, while my son laughs out loud and I just smile, knowing they mean well.

I love the street side vendors in Japan that sell barbeque squid. I often have people stare at me as I eat my squid. Yes, I like Japanese food! But I smile and supress a laugh when Japanese people ask me, "Can you eat Japanese food, even SUSHI?"

There are parts of Japan that don't see foreigners often, and the stereotypes can be amusing. I admit, I've had some stereotypes of Japanese people as well.

Why is this in the relationship section? The stereotypes and what I call "over-reaching hospitality" come from my relationships with the Japanese people that I've met over the years; my friends, my wife, and my in-laws in Japan.

I appreciate the thoughtful replies to my thread. I thank you!

I wish the "flame-fiends" well.

xceeding 08-31-2008 08:53 PM

:mtongue: :ywave:

mandalina 08-31-2008 08:53 PM

deleted...

Uriko 08-31-2008 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xceeding (Post 573595)
Thanks for defending me. It was a little disheartening at first to see the first posts (ie. "you are very stupid.") I think there are a few Japan Forum members who lurk out there just to be mean. I appreciate your comments.

it has happened quite a few times to new members & whatnot. ^_^'

please do continue to visit the site. we need mature people like you around more often. ^_^'

Salvanas 08-31-2008 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xceeding (Post 573590)
When I receive what I call "over-reaching hospitality" from a Japanese person it's hard to criticize because I know in their heart they are trying to be nice and are looking out for my well-being.

I am a 51 year old man who has been married 23 years to a Japanese woman whom I met during my first visit to Japan in 1979. (Let this be a warning to you single guys considering visiting Japan!)

My 15-year-old son who is perfect bilingual and doesn't look Japanese, especially being 6'1" tall, often comments that Japanese people won't respond back to him in Japanese when he speaks. I thought it was just me who experienced this and I only speak simple Japanese!

My Japanese in-laws are wonderful people, but I wish they would treat me like a member of the family rather than an "honored guest." They say things like, "Sorry, no bread tonight. Is rice okay?" And I say, "Yes, of course." For the millionth time! They often bark at the waiter or waitress at a restaurant to bring the foreigner a fork, while my son laughs out loud and I just smile, knowing they mean well.

I love the street side vendors in Japan that sell barbeque squid. I often have people stare at me as I eat my squid. Yes, I like Japanese food! But I smile and supress a laugh when Japanese people ask me, "Can you eat Japanese food, even SUSHI?"

There are parts of Japan that don't see foreigners often, and the stereotypes can be amusing. I admit, I've had some stereotypes of Japanese people as well.

Why is this in the relationship section? The stereotypes and what I call "over-reaching hospitality" come from my relationships with the Japanese people that I've met over the years; my friends, my wife, and my in-laws in Japan.

I appreciate the thoughtful replies to my thread. I thank you!

I wish the "flame-fiends" well.

I didn't mean ill, I just failed to understand as to why it was in the relationships section, which you have explained.

Although, I've only been to Japan once, but I've mixed with many people, then again I was in Kyoto, Nara and Tokyo the most, which might explain why I've never seen these happen to me.


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