What would you do?
 

Would you change for your boy/girlfriend?

Example:

I always wear highheels pumps etc. My ex once said to me; ''I dont want you to wear highheels, pumps. why do you wear such slutty shoes. You look like a ho..''

Well.. lets say he did not say the last part..
But I would never stop wearing those things.. just because he dont like it..

And yeah.. the relationship was over when he said that i look like a ho..just so you know:P

How about you? How would you react? Would you consider to change? Or not?


(and sorry for the bad english:P)

i wouldn't change anything for a boyfriend if he knows it's something i enjoy & it doesn't cause harm to anyone. for example, wearing high heels. (i don't wear them, but let's just say i do) if he thinks i look like a slut in them & that i really really like heels, then i'm going to still wear the heels & i'm going to dump him. 'cause not all guys think that about high heels. he just sucked.

now, if there was something really wrong about me, like maybe the fact that i'm a drama queen & it causes problems & a lot of arguments, then..yeah, i'm going to try to change that for him. but only if i think he's worth changing for. ^_^'

was he shorter than you when you are wearing heels? :P
No you shouldn't change for other people unless its something bad for you as well.

I wouldn't change myself, it's too bad for him.

Hell, if I were your bf I definetly wouldn't want you to change anything. Only an idiot would want that.

Ha. If that's a compliment, then thank you. ^_^

Hahaha lol..
We had the same height when i wore my highheels..:P

he can go die. Seriously. he doesn have the right to say what you should wear and what you shouldn't.
I would have slapped him and then dumped him and humiliated him in front of his friends.

But then again, im a evil bitch. so....=D

Hahahahahaha.
Seriously. I'm sure we would want to change something bout them too.
But you're supposed to like them for who they are, and if they don't like
that . . . then whatever.

Ask yourself why he got with you if he thinks your looking slutty? (he think your easy to get into bed or something?) That kinda guy would never be long term material anyway.

In general I would consider compromises which would keep both us happy. But as for one sided changes just because she disagreed, I would not even consider.

If i read something like this i would think the same thing as you do..
But we were together for 4 months. after 3 months he became very possessif..
He said things like: later when we're married, you wont go to work. But you have to stay home and be a good housewife.. and that sort of things. I was like WTH?:confused: youre crazy? Im working me ass of to have a good carreer..

He's not in charge of your future.

i'd be wary of that guy...especially over what he had told you

yeah i know.. and thats the reason why i broke up with him:D

*cheers*
Good for you! : D

i would have slapped his face off! =O

He so doesn't deserve nor accept you for the way you are and choose to be girl! :mad:

Man this kinda thing annoys the crap outta me in men, it really does! :mad:

Don't ever ever ever EVER change yourself for a guy, EVER! ALWAYS BE YOURSELF! :mad:

And if he just can't see that for himself, then that's his twisted problem and NOT yours :mad:

You can do much better than that for yourself girl, I just know you can! :mad:

I wouldn't change a thing about MY girl..

she's super foxy, funny, and a nice person to boot

when we go out...she is alway's the fittest girl in the room...and i like that...

also she looks SO hot wearing trainers....

as for your guy...sounds like he is feeling insecure...perhaps adress this issue...and he wont mind how you dress :P

No freaking way in hell would I stop wearing heels just because my boyfriend doesn't like them. It'd just be silly of him to get mad over it.

He should have listened to his mum and drunk his milk!
The midget!

Exactly.
He should have taken his growing PILLS *cough* :rolleyes:

NOTE: No I’m not objectifying a woman, it is light humor, please don’t take all words for truth, I am making light of the topic is all, please don’t think I’m being mean.

Okay, I see now that the topic has gone off the track, and we are down to the level of slapping ones face.

So, believe me, I'm not an expert but feel I can lend some advice here. BUT, I DON'T KNOW kaelazors, however, I could not resist the chance to inject some "fatherly" advice at this point:

First off let’s cover the clothing topic, seeing how this is what started all this:

1. If you are a woman, ask yourself, -- Do I dress the way I do so guys / boys / men, WON'T OR DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT ME IN A SEXY WAY?

a. If you said yes, then you are in control of your dress habits and set a code relative to the daily conduct of “normal” accepted attire. You would not wear a bikini to do oil rig drilling, you wouldn’t wear ICE SKATES to mow the lawn. So its all about the level or code of dress at the time: I don’t know, maybe she works in a hair salon, or is a model, then yeah high heels are the “proper type shoes” but I don’t know that for sure, so I’ll just talk in generalizations and please no offence to anyone.

Side note: How often do you think boys / men / guys think about sex or something to do with sex.... are you ready to hear this.....?......sit down....okay? .... 200+ times a day! Yes, no lie, it was done in a study at a university here in the USA and they used university men to record their thoughts and when one would think or hint at looking or thinking of sex, to record it. On average 200+ times a day was recorded, based on a simple math of how many times an average 23 year old male attending a co-ed school thought about sex.
I bring this up, because most men’s observation of a woman is first instinct, “Is she hot?” “Would she be my type?” “Would I engage in sex with here?”

b. If you said NO, then you are within the realm (area) of the side note above, you are feeding the fire so to say and WANT GUYS TO LOOK AT YOU.

So in closing on this topic, if high heels are what make you look sexy, then he was making an attempt to “Keep you for himself” and said, you need to stop that because he is in fear of losing you and to the point he would make a comment as to “Look like a ho…” (Either whore or ho is bad) in any case, you wear those heals because you WANT guys to look at you therefore in some smalle cases, you are actually advertising your level of presence to the male. “Hey look at me I’m as close as you can get to looking like a ho….”

So, once you respond as to WHY you wear those heels, then we can talk about the WHEN and WHO you wear the heels FOR? YOU OR HIM?

---------------------------------------------------------------

Second boyfriends / girlfriends, relationships from a GUYS point of view:

NO DISRESPECT AT ALL, THIS IS JUST PUT IN GUY “AURRRR” LANGUAGE AND MAKES LIGHT (FUNNY) OF THE FACT THAT MEN ARE WAY LESS COMPLECATED THEN WOMEN IN “RELATIONSHIPS” so please hear me out….

Guys…. Women are like cars!

Some are fast high tech, newest technology, some are slow, some are all polished up and look really shiny and sparkle a lot, some are rusty, some are old, some are so new, some are plain, some are really strong heavy duty 4X4 models that can take any type of terrain, some are fragile that you can’t even slam the car door without hurting it. Some are just right, get the best gas mileage, and you know this is the one for you, you found the perfect car and will stick with it for life.

So, guys, who wants a expensive 350 Ferrari, with leather seats and polished chromed parts and big fancy tire and rims? You do? Have you seen the maintenance and insurance on that car>>>?? LOL!

So guys, who wants a BIG 4X4 truck, handles all terrains, can stand out in the rain and not get cold, has room for 5 kids and a bad ass blower on top a hemi engine? Those require a lot of maintenance and when they need new parts, you have to do it all yourself because you have built such a modified 4X4 truck, no one but you knows how to fix it.>>> ? LOL!

So guys, who wants a top of the live, electric car, that gets 64 miles to the gallon, runs on both electric and gas when needed, has room for just two kids and two adults, likes to take you on vacations and is maintenance free for the most part? Those cars are great until you need to lift some heave tables and move them to your new house>>>? LOL!

So, you get the idea, women are like cars, pick one stick with it, and invest in it, put money into it, wash it, wax it, buff it, buy it some flowers from time to time, listen to it talk, see what it needs and talk about getting new brakes, and a car wash, the more you take care of your car, the longer it will last.


Girls: Guys are dumb, they can be tricked into anything, know why? Because you control the sex! :

A woman’s thoughts:

Boyfriend and girlfriend stage -All I got to do is sex 5 times a week and this guy is mine for life!

Engaged stage: - All I got to do is a few of those “crazy kinky” things he wants and I am golden for life!

Newlywed stage: - All I have to do is show him one great night of sex and I’m good for a few months! Yeah!

Married stage: - All I have to do is make him “Happy” once a week and I can’t wait for menopause to kick in, wheeee!

Old Age stage: - His thing don’t work anymore, yeah, I free!!! WTF? Who invented this Viagra crap!!! NOOOOO!!!

:eek:

So, WHY do you dress the way you do>? What stage are you in, how old are you, are you marrried, divorced, why do you date some many guys, why does he date so many girls...

Wait to long and all the GOOD CARS on the LOT will be gone, for BOTH GUYS AND GALS!!

Peace! :vsign: :rheart: :rheart: :rheart: :rheart: :rheart:

Pfft, Like i said you bow down to me and listen to me. Clearly your knowledge of PILL isn't that great. The PILL you're talking about helps in girth and er, body mass.

You should trust my PILLS! Sometimes you should not judge a pill by its colour. :rolleyes:

i think there's no reason to change for someone.
If you schoose to change it should be because you want to change not to please other people
although I do admit i have been victim to this
and i'm sure tons of people have been
^_^

whats that got to do with wearing something you like? I dont wear heels just because ''i want guys to look at me''. I dont need something special like heels or a sexy top to guys look at me.
I wear them because I think its feminine, and im very short. 1.57. So it makes me tall. not that much, but still..

Correct me if i missunderstood you..

No you are correct, but you answered the question in your statement, you DO wear those items for Vanity and by doing so, you are wearing them to show off:

More height
More straight legs
More sexy
More - "I'm better" to both guys and gals.

Do you know why men work out and get big muscles?

Answer: To look good to other guys!

It is true, a Cambridge university team surveyed 300 body builders and with varying questions could determine that men worked out because they had a self conscious attitude that they were inferior (less attractive) to OTHER GUYS, based on the level of desired needs from a woman, (What a chic thinks is HOT) so guys get big muscles, or drive a fast car because they want to show off to other guys, in an attempt to make the “in crowd” and have a better chance of getting the best woman.

So basically the guys were working out for VANITY for both to impress GUYS and GIRLS.

So how does a woman do that>? Accessorize, shoes, purse, hair, nails, clothes, earrings, (LOL know who and why ear rings first got started? its funny, Google it.)

So my point is NO ONE IS WRONG, YOU ARE NOT WRONG, NO ONE IS WRONG!

Just that if you come to terms and UNDERSTAND why you are dressing the way you do is for vanity for yourself and others, and the more you KNOW WHY you dress that way, you can tell any guy that says “You look like a whore” you can say “You look like a 90 lb weakling and could get your ass kicked by a girl!” Or “Man you are dumb, I dress this way so YOU (the guy) look better, it shows YOU (the guy) can GET a girl like me.”

See simple math is all.

Hey don't you know I was the guy that asked about die my hair blond, know why? I got gray hair now showing and I decided to let my hair grow out, LOL! I’m an old guy, 38 years old, ha ha ha.

SO it’s not wrong, but understand your boyfriend (original post) is asking that you NOT wear those shoes because he feels less of a man, and MIGHT LOSE YOU to another guy...

Most married guys,... (Like me) want our wives to dress sexy sexy sexy as hell in the home, but when we go out, jeans and tennis shoes baby and a nice shirt too, UNLESS WE ARE WITH THEM WHEN WE GO OUT, then go crazy, LOL! :eek: :D

See guys are really jealous and are afraid if our girlfriend or wife dresses sexy, we may lose them. Silly huh?


Hope that helps and I just tried to let you know, you are not any different then millions of women around the world. Be sexy wear those shoes because as a guy that does not know you,.... we LIKE to see sexy dressed women, just don't get us in trouble when our wives are around if we sneak a peak at you, LOL! :mtongue: :D ;) :rheart:

Hewa! :D

if u love him, i think it`s okay if my boyfriend ask to me to change the shoes....if u pleasant....but i will ask to him "don`t say to me a ho....":)

I always call my boyfriend a faggot and tell him what not to wear and tell him that shirt or those shoes are hideous.

But it's all in good fun.
Insulting each other is still our favorite thing to do.
which most people find crazy.
but we don't actually mean it.

we both love one another regardless of what the other is wearing.
it's a complete joke between us.

he knows I could give a shit what he wears.

Not necessarily.
I've worn heels since I was little.
Realllyyyyy little.
Without them on, I don't feel like myself.

In my opinion there are two types of guy regarding this issue [generally speaking of course]

1. He loves his girl to dress up, he likes her to look good and he likes to take her out and show her off. He doesn't care that other guys look at her, because he knows how beautiful she is and he's lucky to have her. This can be seen as a good thing or bad thing depending on the person.

2. He likes his girl to be reserved. He doesn't like her to show herself off, he doesn't want people to fancy her or notice her because he doesn't want anyone to steal her away from him.

I guess both kinds have their good and bad points and they both show care for their girlfriend but yeah.

If you want to wear your heels then you go ahead and do so ~

i think you def did the right thing.
wearing heels isn't exactly a relationship-ruining thing, and he shouldn't expect you to change it.

personally, i would only change something that really is a problem, and is a problem with me.

i would never change how i am because of someone else:s comment! who ever will love me, he would love me exactly how i am! :)

Well, I'd make changes only if it was life/relationship threatening. If it was something I really liked and it was neither of those two, I wouldn't change it, and I wouldn't ask her to change either.

With the small things, you gotta learn how to deal with it. It's one of the requirements of a relationship, last time I checked. Can't be COMPLETELY alike, no matter how much you have in common...

That's so true. Also, even if you had EVERYTHING in common, you'd get SO bored of each other. Variety is the spice of life, ya know! ^^

if they dont like you for who you are, then they shouldnt be going out with you in the first place ;)

i would gladly exchange my boyfriend for a box of pepperoni pizza.