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-   -   Things that prevent you from getting a GF/BF (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/relationship-talk/20221-things-prevent-you-getting-gf-bf.html)

cridgit001 04-27-2009 10:47 PM

It would be for me because my parents are 12 years apart and I have witnessed the issues that it causes.

rebam 04-27-2009 10:58 PM

I don't know what prevents me, but it's like I can't seem to get a boyfriend at all. I'm 17 years old and I have had three guys ask me out.(I'm white.) The first guy, we didn't even know each other very and he asked me out and he wouldn't leave me alone till I said yes, of course we kinda knew each other, but I only said yes to make him shut up(younger than me and is african america, a eighth grader right now); the second one was this guy who asked me out after like a week of knowing me and it wasn't even real. Here's how it happened, we were sitting alone at a table in the school library and he some how worked the conversation of how his friend was weird and I said why and he said cause his friend asked if we were dating or if we were going to date and he said no on the first one and maybe on the second part of the question then like ten minutes later he said the same thing so I took that as him trying to hit on me so I asked if he wanted to date me and he said yes, so I was like ok(as in I heard what you said and wasn't ignoring you) and he took it as let's date, but that was partically my falt)(he's a hispanice freshman in high school); and the last last one asked me over email to go to the movies with him and I said I was kinda busy at the time then he asked me if I wanted to date him and I said we would have to talk about it(he is a junior and white, he is also in a wheel chair but is not specialy challenged but has like a skin problem and no fingers but can still do stuff most people can do like flip a tech deck)
But no one else has ever asked me out and I don't know why I get the people I dont see myself with or are completly weird and haven't known me for very long or don't know much about me and I don't know much about them

ozkai 04-27-2009 11:07 PM

Things that prevent you from getting a GF/BF
 
To much honesty and communication

rebam 04-27-2009 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ozkai (Post 705298)
To much honesty and communication

well honesty and communtication is whatshould keep a relationship together i would think

SaintKat 04-27-2009 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sutiiven (Post 705266)
well would being 20 with a 30 yr old be odd?

From what I've seen with successful couples:
- the age gap wasn't a problem when the younger partner was 20+
- most of them were younger women/older men combos
- biggest gap I've seen is 17 years and they've been together around 8 years now

I guess it depends on the personality of the people? I've never seen a female teenager + 25-plus guy relationship last longer than a few years. I'm sure there are plenty, I just haven't witnessed any. Also, similar interests doesn't seem to be a problem. Sex might be an issue down the track though, if the age gap is huge and the elder one's sex drive is lower than the younger.

larajolyn 05-08-2009 12:08 AM

i think i am preventing myself from getting a great guy.
my lack of social life, my withdrawn personality towards strangers. if i am attracted to someone, i think i kinda am "clingy" and "needy"...

Salvanas 05-08-2009 12:36 AM

After being with a few more girls, I've fully realised that these days, I find that I'm more happy single.

I've lost all interest in relationships, and I prefer the freedom of being able to do what I wish, without the responsibilities. Not that I'd cheat on my girl or anything, but I mean, if I don't love the girl, what's the point of even shackling each other to the ground?

minimin 05-08-2009 04:17 AM

What prevents me? The fact that I've just moved is why, I know basically no one but a few souls. and would i want to be with anyone anyhow. lolz

Reavyn 05-08-2009 04:50 AM

My main problem is the city I live in. There are three colleges here and a military base. There is also another big college and military base about an hour away. Most of the girls here go for the military guys (which I am not one at all), and most of the females my age are usually married or divorced with kids.

That being said, I'm also extremely picky. There is very little to do in this town. Basically, you can go downtown or to the beach and get drunk. I personally hardly ever drink, and when I do I don't do it to get drunk. I don't want to date someone who likes to get drunk either. Second thing kind of falls inline with the first. Clubs. I'm not into clubs. They are usually too loud, the guys are usually there for one thing, and a lot of the times the girls don't even want to talk to a guy if they aren't already there with one. Mainly because of the only thing the guys are there for. Third thing to do, sadly, drugs. I don't do drugs, I won't do them, and I really don't want to hang around those who do them. (personal reasons). There is also going to the beach during the day. I'm not a fan of the beach during the day. I burn too easily and am very very pale (yes I wear pants all the time)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sutiiven (Post 705266)
well would being 20 with a 30 yr old be odd?

I've had a few girls just out of high school that work at the mall I do that have liked me. I personally find it hard for me to even think about hanging out with someone that is 10 years younger than me. So 12 is right out. And no I'm not one of those pigs that would just try to get with them.

Salvanas 05-08-2009 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertherose25 (Post 705187)
I don't want a boyfriend, I've only had one in my 19 years of life.

Reasons why, you ask? Sure!
  • I have slightly high expectations and standards.
  • My 'friends first' requirement seems to put off a lot of people as well, but since my first boyfriend and I dated after a week of knowing each other we both agreed it was better to be friends with someone first.
  • And my ex and I being friends seems to piss off a lot of people that are interested but I always tell 'em 'Sisters of before Misters' [yes I call him a girl, I always have lol].
  • Plus the drama after we broke up is slightly off-putting when it comes to another relationship...I'm shocked we're still friends after what he put me through.
  • I need to sort myself out before I start dating someone else.
  • And I want to make sure I'm 100% sure I'm over my ex-boyfriend and not rebounding before I even consider someone else

You see, the problem I see there, is you're taking relationships at the age of 19 way to seriously.

You see, for me personally, I've never had a relationship that's so intense at my current age, that I had to recuperate. And I'm younger than you. Don't get me wrong, I've been through pretty hard relationships. Ones that have brought all kinds of shit up, but I never had to "sort" myself out before starting to date someone else.

So, the problem there, I perceive, is that you're wound up too much about this last relationship. You need to stop taking relationships so seriously, and just date for fun.


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