Arranged Marriage ...
 

Since the day you were born , your entire life doesn't belong to you anymore , it belongs to your parents that decided the route of your , planned everything , your school , university , career , and marriage ..


is it tribal traditions ? or what ?


Some said that it''s better that way ..

what do you think ?

I do not at all 100 percent think it's better that way at all.

maybe if they plan the basic child stuff I can see. Its pretty much happen to all of us.

But the more important things such as My Career, my university and my love shouldn't be put up to them.

Regardless of culture or customs, I feel those important steps in life should be left up to the person.

Arramged marriages are a real cultural thing.

I do however think that some cultures are absolutely disgusting forcing 12 year old girls to wed Oji san.

That happens in Afghanistan and other Muslim nations.

Arranged marriages aren't that bad as many might think. They save the you the time (and money), that is: no first date, no gifts, no need to spend 6-10 months living together just to get know each other.

If the girl is good-looking I wouldn't mind having an arranged marriage myself.

You don't love your current gf, do you?

Parents arrange the lives of their children because they care for them. Any parents with common sense raise their children so that the children had a better life than they did. Young people tend to resent this interference, but when they become older they realize that the intentions behind it were good.

As for arranged marriages, why not? So many people marry out of love, and find out later that though they loved each other in the beginning, this love wasn't enough to overcome other differences. In many case, the love vanishes and is replaced by resentment, and even hate.

My girlfriend's grandparents "suffered" an arranged marriage. They had never met each when their parents began talking about arranging the marriage, and were only able to meet a couple times before the marriage took place. They learned to love each other in the years that followed their marriage, which turned out to be happy and prosperous.

Depends on why they arrange them I think, in some instances they really do try to arrange what they hope is both a happy and healthy relationship based on past experiance. Most marriages were arranged historically, it's only since the age of "Enlightenment" where chooseing yourself became common. Even then, if you were to look across the globe..arranged marriage is still by far the most utilized type.

For your friend, what are her parents like and what is the cultural background? Both those factors can play into why the arrangement is made.

I believe you advance through life because of the choices you make not choices someone else makes for you before your born or even before you can even comprehend what love and marriage are. We grow from our experience in life and that may include finding the wrong person because if the relationship does not work out you were still able to grow and learn from the experience. Arranged marriages are really a cultural thing however they go against what i believe not that they are wrong i just dont believe in them. I also think they are archaic. After all i doubt the man down the street is marrying his daughter off to some heir apparent of a nation that bridges the gap and prevents war.

Iv know two people in my life who were arranged to be married. Lets just say i met them after they fled from home to another country.

My Mother in law and Father in law had an arranged marriage. They have been married 47 years and are happy. My Mother in law said it was strange at first, but she grew to love him. Love clouds your reasoning anyway.;)

Oooooh! This is a controversial question, ok so i'll giv my view and experience on it lol.

Although British born I come from an Asian(Indian) family therefore arranged marriage is common in my family and culture, tho I don't believe it right and it has no place in my life.
My mother and father had an arranged marriage and so did their parents and most of my relatives. Though I hav some cousins aunts and uncles who rejected arranged marriage and married their partner of choice.

My mother was trying to arrange my marriage 10yrs ago and I refused which led to conflict between us and further conflict when I started dating a man who wasn't an asian, they called it culture, I call it racism.
Sure things didn't work out between us and i've had boyfriends since but that doesn't mean my parents were right and me wrong to not hav my partner chosen for me, I see a failed relationship with my partner as an experience an learn from it, I hav something my parents didn't and that is FREEDOM of CHOICE. I believe as an adult I hav total rights and capability of choosing who I spend my life with, I don't believe I ever made a wrong choice because every experience teaches me more about myself my needs and wants.

For my mother however I think it was best her marriage was arranged, because she had no education and can't think for herself, to live her life with freedom and to make her own choices would be extremely difficult for her seeing as all her choices have always been made for her and she's been programmed since birth to believe that is the right and only path.

Marriage and love have no value for me, so I can agree to arranged marriage, I won't love, so it's piece of cake. In Poland we speak: do it for holy peace.

I Agree ..

But as far as I know that Islamic religion is based on three principals Righteousness , Fairness , and Freedom .. in Afghanistan's community and other related communities I don't think that's the real Islam ..

The Quran seems to support underage marriage so I don't think it's an entirely cultural thing, the very prophet they worship did himself consummate his marriage to an underage child and she was his 'favorite' so it could seem normal to them to marry off young pre-puberty children.

Mohammad The Pedophile

p.s. I apologize if what I said offends any Muslims there might be on this forum, they are not offensive or intended to offend and neither is the link it is an article which is discussing underage marriage in Islam which I found informative, thanks.

In The islamic religion if by any chance an arranged marriage happened the the underage child has the right to deny or cancel the marriage without doubt ..

so your theory about the Quran and it supports the underage marriage is Wrong and about Prophet Mohammed (Peace may be Upon him ) and his wives is not true and ..

^_^

To be continued

2.4 Topics of religion and sexual orientation are not permitted.

Let`s not get this thread closed, okay?

In my culture, i'm hmong, its okay for arranged marriages... but its all about reputation. If you deny people will talk if you go for it and your life messes up... then people will talk. There is nothing that you do that will make the people stop. for me my mom is not for the whole idea of arranged marriages. so i have a choicce, but for others, being very cultural families... they tend to have no choice. all in all i'm against it.

Personally, I disagree with it. The parents aren't going to be the ones marrying the person that they are sending their kids off to, so it is not a decision they have to make. One of my grandfathers dated much, but every time he bought girls home to meet his mother, she wouldn't approve because they weren't up to her standards. In the end, he moved out of the island and to the continental US because of this and married my grandmother without consulting his mother because she obviously would never be happy with his choice of bride.

Also, some people arrange marriages for the purpose of money and prestige; they don't particularly care about their child's happiness. Once the kids get married, they don't have to worry about them, and they don't seem to pay much attention to what happens afterwards. These different ways of thinking are what causes some people to restrict who they are in a relationship with. I don't know what happened to this lady that I checked in, but she had a resident card and a document that's given to refugees.

This woman is from Iraq, a country where this sort of thing is quite common, and the people who saw the picture in the refugee document said that she certainly looked like she was running away from something(logically). Her hair was an absolute mess, and she looked exhausted. There may be many reasons for her fleeing, but I believe that besides being in a war torn country where women are abused in every sense of the word, there was definitely something else going on.

Forgive me .. ^_^


..

if the mentality balance and the acceptance of both sides are matched , why not?

I'm not saying that it's okay but there are conditions to be determined before any arranged marriage ..

If i am the one to have an arrange marriage

id tried to get to know my partner then from that id decided to go for it or not

but generally speaking i think its better that way
i mean parents would usually do what is best for us right?
we should at least consider it than reject it instantly

Freedom? Do you know what the word 'Islam' means?

Final warning.

2.4 Topics of religion and sexual orientation are not permitted.

We are done talking about religions my friends .. ^_^


We are talking about the arranged marriages and what you think about them ..

So , let get this through ,, :D