Getting a japanese girlfriend

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by alanX

Really? Awesome. Firefox told me I misspelled, so I assumed it wasn't a real word.

Firefox's spell check isn't that smart :P It's the noun derivative of "ladylike". Like "gentlemanliness".

[manganimefan227]

Well Kyuwa isn't a word! I say it alot though!1 WOOT!

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by alanX

Great post, bELyVIS.
I've yet to find a girl from another ethnicity that has the same ladylikeness (creating words FTW) about her, and there's something more "natural" and feminine and elegant about Japanese women, that I can't find anywhere else.

Also, I know exactly what you mean, not only my girlfriend, but also my normal Japanese friends have said that they don't like dating Japanese men, because there is no "Ladies first rule" with Japanese, and Japanese women definitely deserve a man who will treat them like a queen.

You two sound like the men Columbine and Nyororin talk about earlier. All that is missing is the round of drinks but the pattern is the same.

Furthermore, its great that you have found someone who you are really fond of... but do you really think that has anything to do with her being Japanese?

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

You two sound like the men Columbine and Nyororin talk about earlier. All that is missing is the round of drinks but the pattern is the same.

Thank you - glad I`m not the only one that noticed this.

"Japanese women are great!"... "Japanese men suck!" ... Also sounds the same to me, minus a few doses of obnoxiousness.
Your girlfriend/wife is clearly great. No one is going to debate that - regardless of whether it has anything to do with nationality/race. If that weren`t the case you most likely wouldn`t be with them.
But I don`t think you`re realizing that you are tossing insults in the direction of me - as my husband is Japanese, so clearly must suck to date and must have no concept of "ladies first" and must be incapable of treating me well, etc etc etc ad infinitum. Or maybe I just don`t deserve to be treated well as I`m not Japanese, so it`s okay?

[alanX]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

Thank you - glad I`m not the only one that noticed this.

"Japanese women are great!"... "Japanese men suck!" ... Also sounds the same to me, minus a few doses of obnoxiousness.
Your girlfriend/wife is clearly great. No one is going to debate that - regardless of whether it has anything to do with nationality/race. If that weren`t the case you most likely wouldn`t be with them.
But I don`t think you`re realizing that you are tossing insults in the direction of me - as my husband is Japanese, so clearly must suck to date and must have no concept of "ladies first" and must be incapable of treating me well, etc etc etc ad infinitum. Or maybe I just don`t deserve to be treated well as I`m not Japanese, so it`s okay?

"MY JAPANESE FRIENDS HAVE SAID"
Is what I said. Was it not?

Don't put words in my mouth.

[Koir]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I should have clarified, I suppose. That is what I meant - a lot of guys coming to Japan specifically because they thought they could get a hot Japanese girl to hop into bed with (and maybe find one to marry who`d walk behind him and treat him like a king). We know that isn`t reality, but it seems there are a lot of misconceptions about Japan and Japanese culture.

In all the time I have been here, I have only met a handful of guys who didn`t give "want to get with a hot Japanese girl" as reason number one for coming to Japan... Even if their only prior experience with Japanese girls were internet porn sites.

Comedy gold, Nyororin

[bELyVIS]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

Thank you - glad I`m not the only one that noticed this.

"Japanese women are great!"... "Japanese men suck!" ... Also sounds the same to me, minus a few doses of obnoxiousness.
Your girlfriend/wife is clearly great. No one is going to debate that - regardless of whether it has anything to do with nationality/race. If that weren`t the case you most likely wouldn`t be with them.
But I don`t think you`re realizing that you are tossing insults in the direction of me - as my husband is Japanese, so clearly must suck to date and must have no concept of "ladies first" and must be incapable of treating me well, etc etc etc ad infinitum. Or maybe I just don`t deserve to be treated well as I`m not Japanese, so it`s okay?

I also said "My wife felt Japanese men didn't treat her well". I never said Japanese men suck. I have Japanese guy friends that I know are nice guys, but how am I responsible for how some Japanese women feel?
My reasoning for liking Japanese women isn't about race, it's more cultural with how they are raised. If I felt American women acted the same, I wouldn't have been attracted to Japanese women is my guess.
I'm sure your husband treats you well and you are smart enough to know how you like being treated, so why do we have to explain ourselves?
Besides, why should we take advice from someone who downgrades Japanese women by saying "only losers who can't get a date at home only date Japanese women" and refers to them as "little Geishas"? Clearly this person is more of a racist then someone who says they prefer to date or marry a certain type.

[Nyororin]

I wasn`t trying to put words in anyone`s mouth - just pointing out how it can be interpreted.
I also think it`s fairly obvious that you`d only hear that Japanese men don`t treat their girlfriends well, etc - I doubt you`ve dated any yourself! (If you have, well, hmm... Okay.)

The same with a lot of men who are interested in Japanese women due to the cultural differences - Japanese women who are interested in foreign men because they are foreign also often have bad experiences in love behind them.
Belyvis` wife was not treated well in prior relationships. Does this mean that Japanese men are terrible? No - it means that those men she was with were.
If someone came along touting the joys of some other race/culture, and said several times how their friends all told them Japanese women were awful, etc etc etc - (especially if there was already a long standing stereotype of Japanese women being crappy in bed, treating their men like dirt, etc like there is with Japanese men...) I think you might like to point out that it may not be true.

If you didn`t think so and didn`t believe your friends, you wouldn`t write it. I`ve never heard a guy say "I`ve dated a number of Japanese men, and they were all terrible." - it`s obviously going to be secondhand info from friends or girlfriends. Unless there is something you two aren`t telling us here...

Really though, I wasn`t jumping to be offended, I was pointing out that in the end it amounts to the same thing. The result is that more stereotyping of Japanese men as crap partners is spread, and the more crap I end up having to hear about it when I come across anyone obnoxious.

Besides, why should we take advice from someone who downgrades Japanese women by saying "only losers who can't get a date at home only date Japanese women" and refers to them as "little Geishas"? Clearly this person is more of a racist then someone who says they prefer to date or marry a certain type.

Who has said this?

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by bELyVIS

The reason I wanted to marry a Japanese lady goes back to when I was young. My uncle married a lady from Okinawa because he was stationed there. I found her to be very kind and ladylike (she wasn't so "hot" so this has nothing to do with it, but average looking) and I liked that. He never treated her as anything but as an equal, not as a slave, so I didn't have this misconception. So my wanting to marry (not just bed down) a Japanese lady has nothing to do with looks or myths about being easy. In my experience Japanese ladies aren't as easy to sleep with, as some other nationalities I've known, because they take more work to get interested and keep interested in you before they would sleep with you.
When I was in Japan, my first girlfriend was Chinese so I was willing to keep my options open and judge the person not the nationality. But this didn't work out and eventually met my wife.
My wife has lived and traveled all around the World so she has met many people and dated men from other countries. She felt that Japanese men didn't treat her as well as other men so she wanted to marry a foreigner.
My wife is the most understanding and kind person I've ever met. She is ladylike and very loving, so this shows the myth about them being unloving to be false, and shows it.
All I can say is that some people always want to others to feel that their ideas and feelings are wrong because they have an internal conflict of their own. Me, I do as I want and am truly happy with my wife.
To those of you who want to meet a Japanese lady and treat her respectfully, you will not be sorry. Don't let anyone tell you what you should do or how you should act.

there's something more "natural" and feminine and elegant about Japanese women, that I can't find anywhere else.

Yeah... flimsy defence when there is a record of the things you ACTUALLY said.

[Ronin4hire]

Haha!

Im in my girlfriend's room at the moment and she saw some of the comments I just replied to so I showed her the thread. Without naming names... she thinks you guys are a bunch of racist losers.

(Hey mods... before you act... If the defence "she said it not me" is acceptable then technically I havent done anything wrong)