Stressed much? Cause you surely sound so, geez.

Anyway, do people over a certain age actually ask someone out? I mean, that's now how it works. It's okay when you're like 15 and you fancy some guy in class to go up to him and tell him that you like him very much and that you'd like for him to be your boyfriend, but as a grown-up individual you don't have to go through that. It's much more simple to get someone's attention. You don't have to actually ask. It's not that hard to make a guy realize you're into him. You grow enough courage to approach him and start a conversation with him, and then you go all the way from there. If he gets it you'll notice cause he'll show interest, and if he doesn't then you make it obvious, but no questions asked.

I'm not actually mad :P I just like to talk like I am, but I guess you can't tell I'm joking since the nuance doesn't get carried through the internet (despite my use of smiley emoticons!) :D I appreciate Lewis Black's sense of angry humor. But then again, people might think I'm seriously angry so I'm sorry if you read it that way.

I'm just moderately amused and irritated (like Ronin) by this whole "I'm so gorgeous no man will approach me *soooob*" thing aannnnd I've seen guys get shot down (seeing my baby brother get shot down and cry for 2 days was particularly painful :( He was 14 and the girl was 16 so I knew it was gonna happen but it was still AWFUL. Therefore, this notion of 'guys are confident and don't have feelings' annoys me.) My dad's best friend in the early 1980's killed himself because he was rejected. So despite my harsh words, the point I'm trying to make is don't wait around for the guy because you're 'supposed to'-- because "he should ALWAYS ask you" then later lament about how another less-pretty girl got the guy you wanted. That's stupid and cowardly IMO.

And I didn't say all girls are like that. I said "most" which as far as I can see is true. :mtongue:

Naahhhhh~ I went to an all-girls school, let me tell you, this is ~totally~ group-mentality. Think about it, you have a large group of girls, presumably mostly friends with each other, and one guy who is mutually friends with all of them too. As the OP said, more than one person had feelings for him. The girls probably all knew this, but by unspoken agreement decided to not take it as an option because excepting a rare, open and (unusually magnanimous) election of a girl who could 'be the one ask you out', it would only create divisions and heartbreak. And even if a girl was elected, and you broke up later? Dissention in the ranks and a free-for-all.

Happened in my year group- five of my friends, of whom two crushed on the same guy. Rather than ruin A) their friendship with each other, b) upset their friendship with the other group members by making them pick a side to support and C) the friendship with the guy, they simply let it go.

Sorry Protheus, that's the downside of being the only guy in a group of girls. Popular myth is you become head of a harem. More likely you wind up single. On the plus side, you probably managed to keep more friends this way and understand women better by having had many as friends, which is fairly valued. And you were never single because you were a potato-faced loser either, but just in the wrong circumstance. Take heart!

EDIT: then again you can kick yourself all you like for not just ~asking~ one of them yourself. That would have solved the problem!

You're what Japanese people call a "grass eater" for not asking one of them out...

I agree that men should be the first to ask a woman out, it's like chivalry 101, come on! :P

lol.. I don't agree.

If a woman likes someone and sits around waiting to be asked then that's a bad strategy.

I think it's better to just go for it whether you're a guy or a girl.

As for Chivalry.. well that's just bullshit. I mean I believe in being nice to people. But if it's OK for women to expect certain things from men... well we should expect certain things in return. In the past that used to be 2-3 kids, a warm dinner every night, and sex on tap.

I like your way of thinking, especially the last part. Any argument with sex going it's way I gotta side with :P

Honestly though, if a woman is interested in me, and I'm too thick to realize it, I'd rather she throw me a nice sign so I can then act on it and appear to be the initiator ><

thanks

but its not that all women are cowards and therefore refuse to approach men, its just a little too forward IMO (call me old fashioned or watever) but not all men like a women to make the first move, and u can never honestly judge whether a guy is really into u or not even if he does follow u around like a lost puppy dog - that happened to me before and turns out he was going out with his GF for 6 yers at the time he was following me around too, so depends on the situation - but yeh i couldnt ever just approach a man and ask him out and its not coz im scared just coz its looks a bit strange IMO - most women dont generally anyway - hardly seen it b4

Haha.. fair enough.

My problem with that approach is that what I used to interpret as a nice sign was just a woman being friendly.

But yeah... there's no misinterpreting a stroke of the crotch or the inner thigh if that's what you mean lol

LOL I was thinking a tad more subtle, but you make a good point that a lot of women (and men) have a difficult time separating flirting with friendly behaviour ... I've done it too by accident ><

Although in that time I was already talking (but as a very close friend, nothing more yet) to the future girlfriend and wasn't really on a lookout (but still not tied down), the chances were very high I would have accepted the feelings if one of them got the guts to say it.
In a kind of something close to a conclusion, I missed-, they missed-, we missed-, because of lack of a first step.

I'm not upset, I made the best choice to hang on to my future gf, but I was surprised about not even hinting that feeling from 6 of my friends (these are the ones that told me).


PS: It was fun most of the time growing up around them, but being the only boy in a group of girls on my street meant I had to be able to run pretty fast. I mean, when 30 girls get mad and the only "target" is me :eek: ....ouch.