Quote:
Originally Posted by zoneoni
Umm, The grammer is good, wordage isn't bad, the flow was a little bit off but I changed it a little. It's kind of scattered though, just a little. However, my personal opinon I think they look more for your own personal aspects, your own personal qualities. Honesty, integreity, determination etc. This seems more like a job resume to me, they want this but also they want to know more about you the person well not more, just as much as they can. If your statement is full of your experiences and not as much of your own personal merit versus another kid who has both, well... It also depends on what University your applying for, believe it or not they look for different things, mostly to do with the demographic census of their students. I'd also use a bit more linguistisition(not a word but you can guess what it means) in it.
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In England 'Organised' is right, as Salvanas said.
Yeah I wanted to put in so much more stuff but it's limited to exactly how much text there is in the statement already. So to add more things, I'd have to take them away. I think the problem is, is that I find it difficult to right about myself, or big myself up in a way in terms of personality, and much rather let them see how I am on the things I have achieved and experiances I had. I agree though, I need to put more about my character though it's hard to write about yourself.
I'm applying for a place at Leeds Metropolitan University for the record.
Thankyou very much for your input!