[Crownedinterror]

Phew, I'm happy to see that people could discuss something out of it.

Sorry Nyororin, everything is still not crystal clear for me. I'm kind of sad because from you point of view I might be the generic foreigner that doesn't understand anything about Japanese. Maybe I'm not that stupid, maybe I can understand some things out of Japanese (like why a Japanese would keep wearing a hot sweater even if summer came earlier). Doubt on my person is something that would be appreciated.

One thing that I think you are right about is that a lot of this has to do with me. With my mental health maybe, I don't know.

I guess my fear was to not be able to make Japanese friends in the future and therefore, not to be able to live in Japan. Can you imagine yourself studying a foreign language and culture for 3 years, finally going to the country, and realizing that the road is a hundred times more difficult than expected or even impossible? It's horrifying.

From what you've explained to me, I also fear that stress-less communication with Japanese is impossible without full understanding of the language (including body language). I find it a bit hard to believe.