Did I Actually Wear That?!
A Look Back at the Laughable Fashion Trends of the 80s and 90s
Its 1985, the Nintendo gaming console has just hit the market, Reaganomics is working on the economic problems of the nation, and people are jamming out to such hits as “We are the World”. The 1980s were a time of exploration, political upheaval and technological marvels…unfortunately, they were also responsible for some seriously dangerous fashion disasters that are still making people cringe in memory and horror today.
The first fashion disaster of the 80s that MUST be mentioned are the all famous, all encompassing, all flowing Hammer Pants. The parachute pants were made popular by MC Hammer, a rap star with such great hits as, “U Can’t Touch This”, and “2 Legit 2 Quit” (which he did a few years later due to massive spending and bad business sense). Hammer Pants (Parachute Pants) were pants with large parachute like pant legs that were tight at the waist and ankles. As ‘cool’ as these pants appeared on Mr. Hammer, they were much ‘cooler’ on the teenager who sported Hammer Pants, leather jackets with shoulder pads and lopsided haircuts. We also cannot forget the cheesy white sunglasses to set the whole ensemble off.
The next fashion disaster of the 80s that cannot go unmentioned has already been mentioned…the shoulder pads. Shoulder pads were meant to make men and women look broad shouldered, lean and cool. Unfortunately, shoulder pads also made people look neck less, and as if they were constantly shrugging. How cool can you be when you always look so undecided? Luckily, people realized how stupid they looked, and eventually the shoulder pads were cut off and removed from under the shirt of many.
When the 1990s came they brought with them terrorist attacks, guerilla warfare, Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, the Pentium processor, email, Seinfeld, Britney Spears, Doc Martens and the curtained haircut made popular in Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
Honestly, there weren’t many fashion disasters in the clothing and accessories market, but many people were making up for stupid clothes with stupid hairdos. The Rachel haircut was the ‘ultimate’ look introduced to the public by Jennifer Aniston and her ‘Friends’ character. As cool as she looked sporting her designer locks, not everyone looked as good- you know you know someone who thought they looked good with the Rachel, but in reality they looked like a poodle with an American attitude problem. The curtained haircut sported by Edward Furlong (John Connor) in the Terminator movie was basically a lazy hair cut. With all that hair in his eyes how could he see far enough ahead of himself to get away from the liquid metal killer on his tail?
Unfortunately, young men still have an issue with leaving their hair in their eyes, but what hasn’t died in over 10 years will probably be around a little longer (parents, shave your son’s head while he sleeps).
The 80s and 90s were hot beds of turmoil, technology, Talking Heads and fashion trends, but we can learn from our mistakes of the past and charge ahead without making the same fashion mistakes that make us look back with nausea.
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