[ddubb]

I'd like to learn japanese words or terms that work well as a nickname to call a girlfriend, the way we in america we call each other "Honey" or "Sweetheart."

This issue came up with a girl I'm dating. I'm a gaijin she's a native japanese we both live in the U.S. She's been here over 10 years but hasn't done much dating.

I'm just naturally the kind of person that uses lots of slang and nicknames when addressing people I know. Some people do that kind of thing more than others, I tend to do it more than most. Admittedly, I do it A LOT. People who know me take it in a fun, friendly way. I never mean any disrespect, my friends don't mind.

It was early in our relationship when I noticed Saori didn't respond well to anything except her name. If I called her "Sugar" or "Gorgeous" etc, she just eyed me warily. One day she asked me if I had called other girlfriends these names. She gave me a little speech about how she likes her name because it's unique and special, especially so in here in the US. She never directly said she didn't like these other names, but positively stated that, for now, I address her by her given name.

I mistakenly thought she wouldn't want to be called a recycled nickname, or maybe didn't want me using terms of endearment which may cause me to recall previous lovers. Later, I found out this guess was wrong.

As a side note: at this point Saori didn't know that I had previously been in a relationship with another japanese girl who positively loved it when I called her "Bijin." So I tried it out on Saori, thinking she wouldn't suppose that I had used that particular term before. I addressed Saori as Bijin a few times, but could tell she didn't like that any more than "Honey" or "Sweetie."

Over the next few months we learned about each other and each other's cultures, etc. She witnessed my massive propensity for calling everyone some sort of nickname, and she got to see in their responses that there was never a shred of disrespect in this habit of mine. I learned from her (I kinda already knew, but got reinforced on) the tendency for Japanese people to be a bit more formal.

One recent incident was where she got into a Facebook chat with a friend that she hadn't talked to in 12 years. Saori explained to me that the friend, who was one year younger than Saori, opened the chat by addressing Saori as Sempei.

This led to a discussion about how, early in our relationship, Saori stated her preference to not be called any nicknames. In this discussion Saori explained that even after decades of marriage, her father NEVER addressed his wife as anything other than her name.

So Saori's preference to not be called a nickname had nothing to do with using a recycled petname or recalling past relationships. She just wasn't sure how to take it when I called her "Sugar." She asked if I had called previous loves these nicknames as a point of reference of american culture in general and my behavior in particular, not because the reasons I had previously supposed.

Referring back to the FB chat, it seems that Saori was concerned that my habit of calling her one of those names is sort of opposite of her friend calling her sempei. She didn't know one way or the other, but was concerned that my nickames were lacking in respect. And that's the reason for asking if I had called other girlfriends these names. I told her I had, but this was small comfort at the time and she still preferred her name.

She didn't know how to take being called these nicknames partly because she didn't know me.

Where we're at now, she's warming up to the idea. I still call her by name more often than not. But occasionally "Honey" or "Bijin" slips out and she's fine with it.

So here's what I'd like to know now. Does anyone have suggestions for what japanese nicknames or words I can use in the way that americans do?

I directly asked Saori what would be the japanese equivalent of the word "Sugar" to be used in addressing a girlfriend, as a way to reference her being "sweet." She came up totally empty. I said, what's the japanese word for "sugar"; she told me; I asked how well it would work for a man to address his girlfriend with that word; she just said it would be awkward and not work at all.

I'd really like to know a handful of japanese words that would work well as cute little nicknames. I would really like to surprise her with some terms that actually work in the context of the japanese language and culture.

Not sure if it matters, but here's a little more biographical data on her. She's 37 years old and grew up in Okinawa.