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08-23-2009, 06:11 AM
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*ahem* Sorry. That's just Haruhi trauma still working itself out. Most of the revisions were done to the concepts being compared, or a single concept being made more specific. I made the guess from your reference that "yatai" was a general term used to describe a mobile stall usually found at festivals. Afterwards, I believed that "roten" were a more specific term for a mobile stall (or yatai) that offered prizes or games. If I am incorrect, please correct me. The other concept being explained was the hierarchy of workers at a yatai. The sentence explaining the idea was linked to the lowest level of workers in order to signal the reader a list of related concepts was being introduced. The level of worker just below the middle rank *could* have been part of the previous compound sentence, but that would make it far too long and awkward to read or say. "Fittings" was changed to "fights" because the context seemed to place the highest-ranked worker level in the role of "guard" (or "bouncer"). This makes it link more logically and naturally with the sentence following it which explains the results of having a strong physical presence near the yatai or roten. Unfortunately for you, she is not here. Say what you want, but you can't break free Say what you will, but you can't change me Say what you want, but it all takes time... And my love will know no end.... How I miss my beautiful friend. 
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08-23-2009, 01:58 PM
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What’s Haruhi trauma? Do you mean Haruhi Suzumiya? Anyway, you know what goldfish scooping is. I’m happy to know that. I was wondering whether I should tell about it. 引用:
I’m sure your revision explains them very good. 引用:
Is it the second paragraph? 引用:
Thanks a lot for the great revision, Koir. I  YamaP 
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08-23-2009, 02:08 PM
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"The people selling things at yatai have a certain hierarchy: the higher-ranked people cook difficult dishes such as 'okonomiyaki' and 'yakisoba'." It's already a long sentence made up of two complete sentences. Making a short list of the different worker levels would have been the ideal situation, but in this case each worker level needs a full sentence and would be too long as a list. 引用:
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Unfortunately for you, she is not here. Say what you want, but you can't break free Say what you will, but you can't change me Say what you want, but it all takes time... And my love will know no end.... How I miss my beautiful friend.
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08-23-2009, 02:41 PM
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You know about Japanese culture very well.  引用:
If I write about all the rank and what each ranked people do in one sentence, that will be too long. Koir, thanks as always. I YamaP
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08-30-2009, 05:31 AM
Hi.
Could you correct my English? "Election Day" I went and voted today. Japan has been under a regime of the Liberal Democratic Party(LDP) since 1994. They have issued too many government bonds, and collapsed the social insurance and pension systems. Now, the Democratic Party of Japan (DPJ) is trying to take the regime. They say they will revive this deeply troubled economy. Both parties say they will do things successfully, so I have got leaflets of their manifesto. The contents seem to be almost the same. My point of focus is the appearances. The leaflet of the DPJ is a paper folded in the middle, and has four pages. It doesn’t seem to be too expensive, and the four pages are enough to know what they will do. It is good moneywise. On the other hand, The LDP’s leaflet has 20 pages including the cover. The paper quality is better than the DPJ’s. It gives a good impression at first. However, the contents were not easily understandable or clear. It has redundant description due to too many pages. In addition, it doesn’t have a table of contents. I needed much time to understand the leaflet’s flaming. I judged that this was a waste of paper and money. I don’t think LDP will be able to quit wasteful use of tax revenue. They don’t seem to be smart. It’s 1:30 pm, August 30, 2009. The result of the vote will be announced tonight. Thank you. I YamaP
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08-30-2009, 05:45 AM
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I checked for puntuation and grammar, but I found no flaws untill the last sentence, result, should be results. I may have overlooked but I stand open for correction. ps.. This shows your english is great compared to some native English speakers. btw......could you help me learn Japanese. 
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08-30-2009, 05:47 AM
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08-30-2009, 06:07 AM
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Most of the revisions, again, were to move around or merge ideas together to aid in quicker understanding of concepts. The main change made was to change the sentence that contained "flaming" to a description of the time needed to understand the central ideas of the LDP's pamphlet. Hope that helps, Yuri.  Unfortunately for you, she is not here. Say what you want, but you can't break free Say what you will, but you can't change me Say what you want, but it all takes time... And my love will know no end.... How I miss my beautiful friend.
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08-30-2009, 06:11 AM
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I’m very happy to hear that. Thank you very much. Is your name from a Japanese word “orochi=snake gods”? 引用:
 I YamaP
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08-30-2009, 06:19 AM
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I liked the character Orochimaru from it. thank you . would u like my msn?
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