Please help me to read this English sentence:

[YuriTokoro]

Originally Posted by Koir

I find it a unique social custom that reinforces the good of a group, or at least another person.

We treasure conformity.

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by YuriTokoro

I should not have used the word “party” in the post.
I will explain what 飲み会 is to begin with.

We almost always leave many glasses with drink when we finish 飲み会.
It is a waste, but we don’t mind. I think this is our culture. Keeping other people’s glass full is more important than reducing a waste here.

That's really interesting. Maybe British people are just more frugal about alcohol!

Originally Posted by YuriTokoro

I’ve never held any such big parties. It must be a wedding party here.

Really big parties aren't common here either. It's usually weddings, anniversary parties or maybe a very important birthday party.

[YuriTokoro]

@Columbine
Hi. I have rewritten my short composition with your help.
What do you think?

Customs of Japan

When you come to Japan and go drinking with Japanese people, some of them will say, “Let’s start with beer!” and then you’ll all give a toast. If you want to behave like the Japanese, you'll need to pour for other people, even when you are not a host or a hostess. This is a kind of Japanese traditions, and how Japanese people communicate each other while drinking.
A legal adult is twenty years old here. When there are unmarried young women, you should look after their glasses carefully, because a woman can’t pour for herself. If an unmarried young woman pours for herself, it is said that she will not be able to get married. So a woman has to wait until someone notices her glass. If a woman wants to be poured, she pours for someone, and then the person must notice her empty glass and pour for her.
Is this too much of a bother? Perhaps, but if you are a man, I think this could be a good excuse to speak to a young woman who you like. Good luck!

Thank you!

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by YuriTokoro

@Columbine
Hi. I have rewritten my short composition with your help.
What do you think?

Customs of Japan

When you come to Japan and go drinking with Japanese people, some of them will say, “Let’s start with beer!” and then you’ll all give a toast. If you want to behave like the Japanese, you'll need to pour for other people, even when you are not a host or a hostess. This is a kind of Japanese tradition, and how Japanese people communicate each other while drinking.
The legal drinking age is twenty years old here. When there are unmarried young women, you should look after their glasses carefully, because a woman can’t pour for herself. If an unmarried young woman pours for herself, it is said that she will not be able to get married. So a woman has to wait until someone notices her glass. If a woman wants to be poured, she pours for someone, and then the person will notice her empty glass and pour for her.
Is this too much of a bother? Perhaps, but if you are a man, I think this could be a good excuse to speak to a young woman who you like. Good luck!

Thank you!

Yes, I think that's great. Only a very few corrections; you're only talking about one custom so use the singular 'tradition'; 'legal adult' can mean a lot of things, so i've change it to 'legal drinking age' so it's absolutely clear what you mean by 'legal'. I changed 'must' because 'will' is a little more natural, and 'must' usually means an obligation.

[YuriTokoro]

Originally Posted by Columbine

Yes, I think that's great. Only a very few corrections; you're only talking about one custom so use the singular 'tradition'; 'legal adult' can mean a lot of things, so i've change it to 'legal drinking age' so it's absolutely clear what you mean by 'legal'. I changed 'must' because 'will' is a little more natural, and 'must' usually means an obligation.

Columbine, thanis a lot!

[YuriTokoro]

Hi.
Is this English correct and natural?


"If you have questions about my posts or Japanese customs, tell me."

Thank you.

[Koir]

Originally Posted by YuriTokoro

Hi.
Is this English correct and natural?


"If you have questions about my posts or Japanese customs, tell me."

Thank you.

The only change I would make is replace "tell me" with "don't hesitate to ask."

Revision:

"If you have questions about my posts or Japanese customs, don't hesitate to ask."

The change works as a gentle command and as a removal of social barriers some individuals may see as preventing their asking of questions.

Hope that helps, Yuri.

[YuriTokoro]

Originally Posted by Koir

The only change I would make is replace "tell me" with "don't hesitate to ask."

Revision:

"If you have questions about my posts or Japanese customs, don't hesitate to ask."

The change works as a gentle command and as a removal of social barriers some individuals may see as preventing their asking of questions.

Hope that helps, Yuri.

Koir, thanks as always!

[YuriTokoro]

Hi.
Could someone correct my English?

Bon

Bon(or Obon) is one of the Japanese Buddhist customs to honor the spirits of deceased ancestors. It takes places around August 15th in many areas all aver Japan.
During the Bon period, many people receive company holidays and go to visit their ancestors’ grave. We believe that the spirits of deceased ancestors return to this world during this period.
We also believe that the bad spirits come to this world from Hell when Bon stars, this is said that the maw of hell is opening, and they stay around water places and dragging people in their world. So many Japanese people avoid playing around a river, a lake, or a beach around Bon period.
Still, many people die in water around Bon. Do you believe this?

Thank you!

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by YuriTokoro

Hi.
Could someone correct my English?

Bon

Bon(or Obon) is one of the Japanese Buddhist customs to honor the spirits of deceased ancestors. It takes places around August 15th in many areas all aver Japan.
During the Bon period, many people receive company holidays and go to visit their ancestors’ grave. We believe that the spirits of deceased ancestors return to this world during this period.
We also believe that the bad spirits come to this world from Hell when Bon starts. It is said that the maw of hell is opening, and they stay around water and drag people into their world. So many Japanese people avoid playing around a river, a lake, or a beach around Bon period.
Still, many people die in water around Bon. Do you believe this?

Thank you!

Well done Yuri-san, this was mostly very natural sounding.

Few minor things:
1) 'ancestor' means a person in your family from a generation ~older~ than your grandparents, who is deceased. So 'deceased ancestor' is like saying 'a dead dead person.' Use just 'ancestors'.

2)"starts", this was a typo, i think.

3) "We also believe that the bad spirits come to this world from Hell when Bon stars, this is said that the maw of hell is opening, and they stay around water places and dragging people in their world." This works better as two shorter sentences. 'Water places' should be either 'watery places' or just 'water'. Don't worry, even if you just say 'water' people will know you mean things like rivers and lakes, not things like baths and sinks!

4) 'Verb+ing' always makes a verb act as a noun. It's like the の in 料理するのが好きです. But in "dragging people in their world", 'dragging' should stay as a verb because the subject of the sentence is the 'bad spirits' not the activity.
If you want to use 'dragging' you need to add another verb such as 'like' as in "the bad spirits stay around water and like dragging people into their world.'

5) 'In' and 'into' are easy to confuse. Believe me, even natives do it. You'll often hear people say things like "He went in the room", which is incorrect. But 'in' is like 'います/あります’, it only shows the place where something IS, so "he is IN the room" is correct, but if he has just ~entered~ somewhere, you have to say "He went INTO the room." The 'to' part makes the 'in' part directional. It suggests movement.