Distance
 

I currently have a girl friend that I have yet to see, and I've been dating her for about a month and one week now.
I want to see her more than anything but her father keeps us apart. Telling her she lives in a fantasy world.
We are separated by about fifty miles and the distance sometimes cause problems.
I'm not sure what to do sometimes and other times I just plain don't care because (although I am young) I only want her and I couldn't deal with life, without her she helps me through so much. (I'm rambling)
Have you had a similar relationship situation?
How did you deal with it?

I know exactly how you feel. I am in a relationship that is just like this one. What I do to deal with the distance... Well, all I can do is wait. I wouldn't be able to deal with the little things in life without this person. I am learning to be patient and I know I can be. I had to wait my entire life for this person and I'm not going to get impatient now. I can't just give up. Our connection is very strong, I know that there will be the day when we can see each other. Maybe the wait will make it more worthwile. I see it as having something to look forward to. :)

I have to ask if you both have met your respective partners in real life, or know them from real life? It's just I can understand your feelings if you have, but if not then I'm just curious as to how you feel that you know the other person or know that you love them? And if you've never met the other person in real life can distance really be an issue, because you can't miss closeness if you've never had it, right? I don't mean this as an attack, but a genuine curiosity regarding the matter.

In specific response to Demitri, may I ask roundabouts how old you are? Just when someone is past a certain age I don't see how anyone can "keeps us apart", because past a certain age you have independence of your own. Who's to stop either of you getting on a train (meeting halfway maybe if a full journey is too much), or from talking to one another on a cell phone, or from just being together really? I wouldn't say she's living in a "fantasy", as only you two know how you feel and what may or may not work, but at the same time if you feel indifferent at times then it may be naive to assume it's love, not without knowing for certain and giving it time.

I think its more longing rather than missing someone.
A lot of relationships do great when a person gets to know a person then meets them.
But only when they are both true to who they are.
I'm 17 and she's 16
My still living under the parents roof. And though mine don't really care her father
Doesn't want me seeing her for some odd reason.
As for the closeness issue, like I said its the longing for that person not the missing.
I feel I've known this other person my entire life.
Its not as if I haven't thought about it logically.

Well, I haven't been in a relationship where the father (or mother) tried to keep me and my gf apart, but I have been in long distance relationships.

You said you're young, but exactly how young is "young?" I'm 22 now, and I've only been in long distance relationships ever since I met my first gf when I was 15.
Now, I don't want to be all negative and stuff, but I think it's very rare for young couples to make it in a long distance relationship where you don't get to meet a lot. 50 miles isn't that far though, so you should be able to see eachother at least a couple of times a month, right?

I've been in a relationship where my gf didn't even live in the same country as me, and that was both one of the best and worst things ever. Not being able to be with the one you love is painful, but when you finally get to be together it's just... totally awesome.

Not everyone can handle being in a long distance relationship, but if you're the type who can, I say go for it. It has its pros and cons, but it's still worth it imo.

I'm working on the distance thing still. 50 miles really isn't far, but I've got the problem with finding a ride. It's really difficult. There aren't any trains or busses that could take me to see him or I probably would have done that waaay before now. I am just trying now for a little lenience from my parents to see him. It's gonna take time. >.>

Track records of long distance relationship are generally bad, regardless of the age, mileage or cause for the separation. A few people can manage them, and the ones I have known usually had problems without the distance separating them fairly often. It seems to be an either/or situation. The relationships are stable in either closeness or distance, but don't seem to hold up when that factor changes significantly.

My parents were one of those that worked beautifully as long as Dad had flights taking him away for at least a week out of every month. And any older couple will tell you that when their partner retired and was home all the time, they drove each other crazy.

But the problem with separation before a relationship is solid on a face-to-face basis, is that there are not enough anchors in the day-to-day reality of the other person's life. You begin to operate on ideas and feelings that often proove unrealistic once you are together; not to mention the temptations of the here and now that regulary interfere.

Not wanting to knock anyone but are you 100% certain this girl is who she says she is (or boy). Until you meet irl she/he can send pictures of others, lie about age and so on. Just my cynical side showing

That's true, as a friend of ours can attest to.

If they were a guy and presumably gay
It wouldn't matter I'm pan-sexual
And I know they are who they say just trust me on that
I wouldn't be in the relationship if I had any doubt.