Responding to compliments

[Kayci]

Oh shit...I said thank you a couple of times on compliments without thinking >.<; Fuck me.

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by JohnBraden

What happens when you're complimenting how cute a baby is to his/her mother? I've done so a few times and was rewarded with smiles and "thank you!"s. Is it because they know gaijin will compliment total strangers without being shy about it? They thanked me and went on to tell me his/her name and it seemed they were tickled pink anyone out of their "circle" gave them any kind of attention. I know it's natural for Westerners to do it. Perhaps the Japanese have figured that out?

Actually, babies are in a league all their own. People *do* frequently compliment babies, and the appropriate response (around here at least) is one of thanks followed by attempts to show the baby off some more.
It is the same for pets, really.

I am not sure where the cutoff is, but I have seen people complimenting adult children with the parents responding only with "I don`t know where he got those good looks! Certainly not from me!" or the like.

Parents just like it when their children are complimented - it doesn`t have anything to do with who is doing the complimenting.

Originally Posted by SHAD0W

Maybe it's because I wasn't looking for them, but I didn't see any babies while in Japan?

Parents taking their babies out tend to stick close to home. Carrying a baby around (or lugging a stroller...) in crowded areas isn`t very fun. So most babies stay at home or close to home.

Originally Posted by MMM

I know lots of families don't take kids to downtown Tokyo or Osaka or other places like that because 1) a lost kid is LOST and 2) kids don't enjoy it.

I have never thought about the *lost* aspect of it - but #2 is very true. Kids generally don`t enjoy going to adult hangouts. It is a pain to get around with a small child, and dragging a small child around who isn`t having any fun is awful. Dragging them through crowds just makes it worse.

Add to this a) widespread childcare, b) extended family support, c) facilities dedicated to children... And there isn`t too much reason for a kid to be downtown.

[Pogopuschel]

Even though what masaegu said is technically correct it also depends on your level of Japanese. If you can't speak Japanese well then people won't expect you to answer with 「ぜんぜん」or the like. It'll just throw them off if you say that (with a thick accent). They'll expect you to say something more gaijin-ish.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by Pogopuschel

Even though what masaegu said is technically correct it also depends on your level of Japanese. If you can't speak Japanese well then people won't expect you to answer with 「ぜんぜん」or the like. It'll just throw them off if you say that (with a thick accent). They'll expect you to say something more gaijin-ish.

expect and appreciate or understand are completely different things though :P

if someone said you were smart and you were like "yeah I know, ask me what my IQ is, go ahead"
they might laugh it off as a funny typical gaijin answer, but it certainly will rub the wrong way

let me parallel it to make it easier to understand on the other side

westerners expect Japanese people to be overly apologetic and just say sorry in the most ridiculous situations, but we know it's just a cultural difference
and yet when we are faced with a Japanese person who is apologizing because they don't understand you when you're speaking English way too fast and using slang that's local to the place where you're from, you just feel like "stop apologizing you dumbass, I'm the one that's being a douche-bag, none of this is on you, it's all on me, are you retarded or something?"
meanwhile that Japanese person fully knows you're a dick for doing that.

just an example, we expect things but it doesn't always change how we feel about them

When I first came to Japan I met this insanely intelligent woman and when I mentioned that I was glad to have the opportunity to have a conversation with her because of how smart she is, she flat out denied it (of course) but being the westerner I am I totally took the tatemae as honne and accused her of having a massive overblown case of inferiority complex

[evanny]

uhhh. i get a lot of compliments from my Japanese tourists at the shop. everyone says how great my japanese is. always when i start speaking to them i try to say "ぼくは一年生ですから私の日本語がちょと悪いですよ� � even then they deny it and say いいえ、いいえ、上手です。 and sometimes i forget about saying no no, and i say ありがとう。 and after that i always remember - "ah. i should have said no! now they will think i am arrogant"

[SHAD0W]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

Parents taking their babies out tend to stick close to home. Carrying a baby around (or lugging a stroller...) in crowded areas isn`t very fun.

I wasn't downtown Tokyo though. Most of the time I was working in schools in Tsukuba, where I would see and meet parents with no little ones younger than school age. I did see some child daycare workers pushing around a large dumpster (lack of better words) full of toddlers through the village which for some reason I found funny.

Originally Posted by MissMisa

Lol, my friend said if they say your Japanese is good, it means it isn't. Don't know how true that is though. XD

From my experience the older generation will praise anyone who can squeal out a KOR NEE CHEE WAR lol

[JohnBraden]

Originally Posted by SHAD0W

I did see some child daycare workers pushing around a large dumpster (lack of better words) full of toddlers through the village which for some reason I found funny.

I saw something similar in Odaiba and I thought it was the bee's knees! it was so cool, I just had to snap a photo.... There was one little one on there that wouldn't look away from me once she noticed me.... I must have been her first gaijin and, at that age, I don't doubt it....

[tokusatsufan]

Originally Posted by MissMisa

Lol, my friend said if they say your Japanese is good, it means it isn't. Don't know how true that is though. XD

Hmm. Has he/she lived there?

[DragonNL]

Originally Posted by JohnBraden

I saw something similar in Odaiba and I thought it was the bee's knees! it was so cool, I just had to snap a photo.... There was one little one on there that wouldn't look away from me once she noticed me.... I must have been her first gaijin and, at that age, I don't doubt it....

Good photo! Pure cuteness.. lol

Originally Posted by Nippom

I would suggest watching this vid, which explains the above mystery in ways that may amaze non-Nihonjin (non-Japanese);
TheJapanChannelDcom's Channel - YouTube

There are many Japanese people living at the same city I'm working over here in Holland. And I'm certainly going back to Japan in the future, so it's very good to know!! Thanks!

[Pogopuschel]

Originally Posted by MissMisa

Lol, my friend said if they say your Japanese is good, it means it isn't. Don't know how true that is though. XD

If you talk *about* Japanese language (for example saying that you're studying Japanese) then almost everyone will say your Japanese is good, no matter if it is or isn't. However, if you just talk about everyday stuff the topic usually don't come up and people won't say anything about your Japanese ability. That's my experience at least.