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Did I translate right? - 11-12-2009, 06:09 PM

Hello, as I wrote in my presentation, I need the help for some phrase to translate.... I study grammar with books all my own... so sometimes I don't know how to translate well..
(english is not my first language too) ..
It seems long, but the most is all translated by me... there's only some parts that I don't have idea how to translate well;

1)
本日はベースのTAKAMOTOくんとご飯しました

today Mr. Takamoto of the bass , cooked rice (??)



-------------------------------

2) This confuse me a lot how to translate:

昨日夜は久しぶりに会う方々と食事をしたのだけど(男 方です)
いろいろと考えさせられる事が多くて自分自身もっと努 力しないといけな
いと強く思った
yesterday night after a long time I had a meal with a person but (is a man) and was discussed many things I think more great not effort on myself and arrangments and more than that ???

And this:
歌と全力で向き合って自分の心の奥にも光を降り注げる ような歌をうたいたいで
すね
The songs that facing all the energy in the inner part of your own heart
and also I would like to sing the kind of songs like to be downpour by
the light

-----------------------------
3) ヘビ柄
snake pattern

最近とってもとってもとってもとっても自分の中で
ヘビ柄がブームなのです
Since recently I'm very very very very in the boom of the snake pattern

何故かなんだか見てると、ときめくくらい
I have a lot somehow for some reason I'm looking, ???

なんなんだろ
??? ???

水晶と同じで なんか魅かれるようになったんだよね
for crystals is the same I reach the point that you are charmed by that


--------------

3)
入手不可能音源になってしまいました・・・・
I didn't want that was impossible to obtain.... (??)
....
(会場の物販だと確実に入手できます) (??)
....

Thank you to all! m(_ _)m

Last edited by munzy : 06-21-2010 at 12:08 PM.
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11-13-2009, 02:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by munzy View Post
Hello, as I wrote in my presentation, I need the help for some phrase to translate.... I study grammar with books all my own... so sometimes I don't know how to translate well..
(english is not my first language too) ..
It seems long, but the most is all translated by me... there's only some parts that I don't have idea how to translate well;
1)
本日はベースのTAKAMOTOくんとご飯しました

today Mr. Takamoto of the bass , cooked rice (??) Cooked rice? No. The speaker and TAKAMOTO had a meal together.

彼は髪が長いし仕草が女性っぽいので
because he seems a woman with his longs hairs and gestures
Because he has long hair and his gestures are woman-like,

たまに女の子と勘違いしてドキっとしてしまうことがあ ります・・・
there's times once in a while when he's misunderstood for a girl...
Sometimes I mistake him for a girl and my heart pounds.

抹茶をたしなんでおられますね
he have taste the powdered green tea eh (??)
He has a taste for podwered green tea.

-------------------------------

2) This confuse me a lot how to translate:

昨日夜は久しぶりに会う方々と食事をしたのだけど(男 方です)
いろいろと考えさせられる事が多くて自分自身もっと努 力しないといけな
いと強く思った
yesterday night after a long time I had a meal with a person but (is a man) and was discussed many things I think more great not effort on myself and arrangments and more than that ???

He met more than one persons (方々).
Where does it say "disucussed many things"?

"Last night, I had a meal with people whom I had not seen in a long time (all male) and it made me think many things. I felt strongly that I would have to
work harder."


And this:
歌と全力で向き合って自分の心の奥にも光を降り注げる ような歌をうたいたいで
すね
The songs that facing all the energy in the inner part of your own heart
and also I would like to sing the kind of songs like to be downpour by
the light

I don't think you understood the structure of this.

"By tackling singing face-to-face, I would like to become able to sing songs that could pour light deep down in my heart (as well as others')"


-----------------------------
3) ヘビ柄
snake pattern Yes.

最近とってもとってもとってもとっても自分の中で
ヘビ柄がブームなのです
Since recently I'm very very very very in the boom of the snake pattern

Recently, the snake patten is so so so much the "in" thing among myself.

何故かなんだか見てると、ときめくくらい
I have a lot somehow for some reason I'm looking, ???

Before you ask someone, does your translation make sense to you?

"For some unknown reasons, my heart beats fast just from watching it."


なんなんだろ
??? ???

"What is this?", "What could this be?" Talking about the mysterious excitement he gets form the snake pattern.

水晶と同じで なんか魅かれるようになったんだよね
for crystals is the same I reach the point that you are charmed by that
OK

--------------

3)
入手不可能音源になってしまいました・・・・
I didn't want that was impossible to obtain.... (??)

Where do you see "I don't want"?

"(Something) has become an unobtainable sound source."


(会場の物販だと確実に入手できます) (??)

You will go crazy if you try to translate everything you ONLY happened to find. You will learn much more efficiently by trying something that is just a little above your current ability.

"You can get it for sure at the sales (booth) at concert venues."
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11-13-2009, 12:59 PM

Hello, thanks for the help! I understand a lot of new things today!
You have right, I should start to translate more simple things, but I have the necessity to translate these things, because I following the blog of this person who post these entries.. but at the same time, I'm study and translate more easy phrase too .
The problem that sometimes my translations sound more bad is because english is not my first language ;__; to translate in italian I'm a little better ...

I have some little doubts :


[quote=Nagoyankee;782513]1)
本日はベースのTAKAMOTOくんとご飯しました

today Mr. Takamoto of the bass , cooked rice (??) Cooked rice? No. The speaker and TAKAMOTO had a meal together.

Ah... I see, I was confused because the vocabulary tell "cooked rice or meal"... sometimes I did mistake that I could evitate... if I think about it, I realize that the more proper word to use in this translation was the word "meal"..


たまに女の子と勘違いしてドキっとしてしまうことがあ ります・・・
there's times once in a while when he's misunderstood for a girl...
Sometimes I mistake him for a girl and my heart pounds.
The "ドキっとして" mean the sound of heartbeats? xD so that's why his heart beats? I image is more a joke -way to say things?


抹茶をたしなんでおられますね
he have taste the powdered green tea eh (??)
He has a taste for podwered green tea.

"おられます" mean "to have , to be"?

-------------------------------

2) This confuse me a lot how to translate:

昨日夜は久しぶりに会う方々と食事をしたのだけど(男 方です)
いろいろと考えさせられる事が多くて自分自身もっと努 力しないといけな
いと強く思った
yesterday night after a long time I had a meal with a person but (is a man) and was discussed many things I think more great not effort on myself and arrangments and more than that ???

He met more than one persons (方々).
Where does it say "disucussed many things"?


I would have write "to think many things" too, I don't know why I put the word "discussed"


"Last night, I had a meal with people whom I had not seen in a long time (all male) and it made me think many things. I felt strongly that I would have to
work harder."


昨日夜は久しぶりに会う方々と食事をしたのだけど(男 方です)
いろいろと考えさせられる事が多くて自分自身もっと努 力しないといけな
いと強く思った
Here with the word "努力しない" I thought that the translation was "not have doing a great effort" is not a 'non existent' of something the "ない" ? That's what confuse me



And this:
歌と全力で向き合って自分の心の奥にも光を降り注げる ような歌をうたいたいで
すね

I don't think you understood the structure of this.


Yes, totally I didn't understood... that's was really hard for me , I see..


"By tackling singing face-to-face, I would like to become able to sing songs that could pour light deep down in my heart (as well as others')"


-----------------------------
3) ヘビ柄
snake pattern Yes.

最近とってもとってもとってもとっても自分の中で
ヘビ柄がブームなのです
Since recently I'm very very very very in the boom of the snake pattern

Recently, the snake patten is so so so much the "in" thing among myself.

I have a question... maybe it's me, but I have this thing that I prefer that the translations will keep (as more as possible) a more similar structure and words as in the original phrase.. I don't know how to explain... I mean... the writer used the word "boom" that mean "in" I see, but what do you think if I would leave the original word that was "boom" ? If you would translate this phrase more similar possible, how it would be?

"Recently the snake pattern is so so so much the boom thing among myself" ?


"Recently, the snake patten is so so so much the "in" thing among myself

"もとって" mean "so" ? I was confused, because in my vocabulary there's not this

何故かなんだか見てると、ときめくくらい
I have a lot somehow for some reason I'm looking, ???

Before you ask someone, does your translation make sense to you?
I had no idea about that , that's why I wrote the words as it was, without adjust it.. you have right.. it don't have sense at all , sorry...

"For some unknown reasons, my heart beats fast just from watching it."


なんなんだろ
??? ???

"What is this?", "What could this be?" Talking about the mysterious excitement he gets form the snake pattern.

水晶と同じで なんか魅かれるようになったんだよね
for crystals is the same I reach the point that you are charmed by that
OK



--------------

Thank you again for the help! I really learn new things today! ^ ^

Last edited by munzy : 06-21-2010 at 12:09 PM.
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11-13-2009, 03:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by munzy View Post
本日はベースのTAKAMOTOくんとご飯しました[/b]
today Mr. Takamoto of the bass , cooked rice (??) Cooked rice? No. The speaker and TAKAMOTO had a meal together.

Ah... I see, I was confused because the vocabulary tell "cooked rice or meal"... sometimes I did mistake that I could evitate... if I think about it, I realize that the more proper word to use in this translation was the word "meal"..
The word ご飯 could be confusing to the Japanese learner as it can mean both "meal" and "cooked rice". But in the following phrases, it can only mean one of them.

ご飯を作る = to cook a meal

ご飯を炊(た)く = to cook rice

ご飯(を)する = to eat a meal. This is a colloquial expression.

Quote:
Originally Posted by munzy View Post
たまに女の子と勘違いしてドキっとしてしまうことがあ ります・・・
there's times once in a while when he's misunderstood for a girl...
Sometimes I mistake him for a girl and my heart pounds.
The "ドキっとして" mean the sound of heartbeats? xD so that's why his heart beats? I image is more a joke -way to say things?
ドキ (or ドキドキ) is an onomatopoeia for heart beats. We have hundreds of onomatopoeias. Use them correctly and you will sound like a native speaker.

The sentence, I'm sure, was a light joke.

Quote:
Originally Posted by munzy View Post
抹茶をたしなんでおられますね
he have taste the powdered green tea eh (??)
He has a taste for podwered green tea.

"おられます" mean "to have , to be"?
おられます is the honorific word for おります.  おります=います. 

Quote:
Originally Posted by munzy View Post
昨日夜は久しぶりに会う方々と食事をしたのだけど(男 方です)
いろいろと考えさせられる事が多くて自分自身もっと努 力しないといけな
いと強く思った
Here with the word "努力しない" I thought that the translation was "not have doing a great effort" is not a 'non existent' of something the "ない" ? That's what confuse me
~~しないといけない = to have to ~~. It's really saying "not doing ~~ is no good", do you see this? Just say yes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by munzy View Post
最近とってもとってもとってもとっても自分の中で
ヘビ柄がブームなのです
Since recently I'm very very very very in the boom of the snake pattern

Recently, the snake patten is so so so much the "in" thing among myself.

I have a question... maybe it's me, but I have this thing that I prefer that the translations will keep (as more as possible) a more similar structure and words as in the original phrase.. I don't know how to explain... I mean... the writer used the word "boom" that mean "in" I see, but what do you think if I would leave the original word that was "boom" ? If you would translate this phrase more similar possible, how it would be?

"Recently the snake pattern is so so so much the boom thing among myself" ?


"Recently, the snake patten is so so so much the "in" thing among myself
I understand what you're tryng to say here and you aren't wrong. But in this case, we are using the word "ブーム" for a different meaning than the word "boom" in English. One cannot say the origianl said "boom" because what it said was "ブーム". This is why I purposefully didn't use the word "boom" in my translation. 

If in English, something happening to only one person can be called a "boom", then I am wrong.

Quote:
Originally Posted by munzy View Post
"もとって" mean "so" ? I was confused, because in my vocabulary there's not this
Look carefully. The word is とっても, not もとって. とっても is the colloquial pronunciation of とても.

Last edited by Nagoyankee : 11-13-2009 at 03:20 PM.
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11-13-2009, 04:46 PM

Thank you very very much!! You was really clear!

I have a question, you are a native Japanese person who speak english??

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11-14-2009, 01:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by munzy View Post
Thank you very very much!! You was really clear!

I have a question, you are a native Japanese person who speak english??
Yes, he is.
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11-15-2009, 05:30 PM

^__^ good!

I did new translations... now... I know my english is not perfect, but I hoped I understand the meaning of the sentences...

please, let me know if there's some very big misunderstanding in the translations!


1) 部屋にある十字架シリーズ
A series of Crucifixes in my room


2.
ゴシックな小物が大好きで、昔から少しづつ買い集めて いたら呪われた
部屋みたいになってきた(笑)
I like gothic accessories, if I'll buy up little by little from olden
days the room became ???? ??
(I did not understand well the second part)


3) しかしつい今でも集めてしま いますね・
but unintentionally even now I still to collecting eh

(I don't think I understand well) x°D


寒いね
It's cold

雨降ってるし寒いしお腹すいたし元気でない・・・・
I don't have energies, my stomach it's empty , it's cold and it's raining..

お腹が空いていては戦ができない
I can't fight with the empty stomach

とりあえずハンバーグ食べよう
first of all let's eat the hamburger!

うん
yup
hum...



4.十字架その2
the 2nd cross

壁にはりつけてありまする
It is attacked in the wall
e' attaccato nel muro



5.
ライブのチケットの先行販売を致しますので是非来て下 さいね
Since will be done the pre-sale's of live's tickets, please come
by all means
(I don't know how to write it well in english)

久しぶりにすっぴんでみんなの前に登場することにしま す
after a long time I'll appear in front of everybody without makeup




6.聖なる夜の運命に導かれたライブ
the live guided in the fate of the holy night

是非みなさんのお越しをお待ちしおります
certainly everybody will waiting for coming ??



7.来てくれたみんなありがとう★嬉しかったです
everybody who came thank you★ it was a pleasure




8. TAKUMIと食事中~
eating (??) with TAKUMI




9. 9.こんな感じで店長させて頂きました
The store manager you could point with such feeling (I dont understand this???)



10.久しぶりにすっぴん私服でみなさんの前に登場して緊張 いたしましたわ

It's been a while face without make-up and with plain clothes in front of
everybody to appearing was nervous
I've appeared nervous in front of you in plain clothes and makeup
ライブ楽しみにしていてね?
have you had fun at the live?



11.**photo** 最近の僕の写真ですね
**photo** my recent photo

色使いが綺麗です
the colors used are lovely



12.つめのあかくん が隠れておりますね
the red fingernails was hidden
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11-15-2009, 10:01 PM

1) 部屋にある十字架シリーズ
A series of Crucifixes in my room


yes

2.
ゴシックな小物が大好きで、昔から少しづつ買い集めて いたら呪われた
部屋みたいになってきた(笑)
I like gothic accessories, if I'll buy up little by little from olden
days the room became ???? ??


. . . , and if I had been buying up all of them from back in the day, my room would have come to look liked a damned room.



3) しかしつい今でも集めてしま いますね・
but unintentionally even now I still to collecting eh

However, even now I horde them. (集めてしまう sounds stronger than just 集める, hence why I'm suggesting "horde" rather than just "collect"). Also, this person sounds a bit embarrassed that he/she does this.


雨降ってるし寒いしお腹すいたし元気でない・・・・
I don't have energies, my stomach it's empty , it's cold and it's raining..


Close, but the し indicates reasons for the final part. Here: It's raining, it's cold, and my stomach is empty, so I don't feel well.

お腹が空いていては戦ができない
I can't fight with MY empty stomach



4.十字架その2
the 2nd cross

壁にはりつけてありまする
It is attached to the wall
e' attaccato nel muro


Oh, are you Italian? Yeah, you just misspelled/typoed "attached" because it's "attaccato" in Italian, not "attachato."

"attack" (what you typed) is attacare or aggredire
"attach" (what you meant) is just attacare (or, I suppose, "attribuire" in another meaning)



5.
ライブのチケットの先行販売を致しますので是非来て下 さいね
Since will be done the pre-sale's of live's tickets, please come
by all means
(I don't know how to write it well in english)


ライブ is "concert" here. How about: Because there is a concert ticket pre-sale, please come. (I'm a native English speaker, but I'm not familiar with concert ticket terminology. "concert ticket pre-sale" sounds fine to me, if maybe a bit unhip if there's a newer slang young people use for it.

6.聖なる夜の運命に導かれたライブ
the live guided in the fate of the holy night

是非みなさんのお越しをお待ちしおります
certainly everybody will waiting for coming ??


The concert, guided by the fate of the blessed night, waited for everyone's past (what the heck is this stuff? who writes ぜひ in kanji anymore?)
I feel a bit weird about my translation here. It doesn't make much sense to me, so surely I'm missing something, but I can't figure out what! My translation reads like something a 12 year old goth kid would write as his or her "awesome poetry," so I think something's off a bit.

9. 9.こんな感じで店長させて頂きました
The store manager you could point with such feeling (I dont understand this???)


I think you may have a typo or left part of that sentence out. I really don't understand the meaning of this sentence, and I understand every part of it individually. Something seems missing, but maybe I'm just not familiar with the construction.

So I haven't paid attention to the history of this translation, but who is talking? It's someone who speaks oddly, because of all the おるs and お待ちしおる and stuff like that. I can't imagine this person is speaking with someone such that it requires keigo, judging by the topic of conversation. I'm curious. I'll go back and read your convo history with Nagoyankee in this thread to see if I can figure out what's up.

Last edited by KyleGoetz : 11-15-2009 at 10:07 PM.
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11-15-2009, 11:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by KyleGoetz View Post
Quote:
6.聖なる夜の運命に導かれたライブ
the live guided in the fate of the holy night

是非みなさんのお越しをお待ちしおります
certainly everybody will waiting for coming ??
The concert, guided by the fate of the blessed night, waited for everyone's past (what the heck is this stuff? who writes ぜひ in kanji anymore?)
I feel a bit weird about my translation here. It doesn't make much sense to me, so surely I'm missing something, but I can't figure out what! My translation reads like something a 12 year old goth kid would write as his or her "awesome poetry," so I think something's off a bit.
お越し is the noun form of お越しになる, which is an honorific form of 来る.  This is the formal speech, not です or ます as so many members here seem to believe.

I'm stating for the fourth time on JF that です and ます aren't nearly as formal or polite that people seem to think. They are just "average". I don't care if I get ignored again. Somebody's gotta tell the truth.

The みなさん here are not the people waiting. They are the people coming to the concert.
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11-16-2009, 09:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nagoyankee View Post
お越し is the noun form of お越しになる, which is an honorific form of 来る.  This is the formal speech, not です or ます as so many members here seem to believe.

I'm stating for the fourth time on JF that です and ます aren't nearly as formal or polite that people seem to think. They are just "average". I don't care if I get ignored again. Somebody's gotta tell the truth.

The みなさん here are not the people waiting. They are the people coming to the concert.
Thanks for the correction about お越し, Nagoyankee. I'll back you up on the ます form stuff. The problem is that "formal" and "polite" mean the same thing to most youths in the US. Based on that fact, when we are taught ます-form is "polite," we often think of it as "formal."

I agree that it's neutral. I mean, you would speak to a stranger with ます-form. I think this is properly categorized as "polite." Of course it's not "formal," though!

I do admit that I probably make the mistake of swapping the two English words, although I try not to. I am aware of the difference even if my English-speaking mouth and fingers ignore the difference sometimes.

I remember when learning forms like 召し上がる and 迎える and お作りになる and stuff like that. Everyone got so confused for a long time about how you could use "formal" language without making it "polite." In other words, we all wondered for a long time how it was possible to say 召し上がる instead of 召し上がります.

I had to read a lot of examples before I realized when it was proper to use polite+formal, plain+formal, polite+non-formal, plain+non-formal.
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