An anecdote.

[WingsToDiscovery]

I've been really pensive lately. I don't know why, but I tend to analyze every little detail that happens in my life nowadays, whether it has anything to do with Japan or not. I have a quick story I'd like to share, and then I gladly ask for your opinions.

I was leading a tour for new students who had just arrived in Tokyo. The object was to familiarize them with the area and show them some of the sights and sounds in a controlled environment (ie; so they don't get lost). I was assigned to go to Shibuya, and then Harajuku.

Towards the end of the day, I was outside of the Family Mart on the corner of Takeshita Dorii, smoking a cigarette. A few of the students I was showing around were inside the conbini, looking at all of the stuff there was to buy. However, there was a single female from the group standing outside with me. To make short conversation, I asked her what she thought of Tokyo so far. She replied that she felt like she didn't belong. My immediate reaction was to look at the students inside the conbini, and I asked her if she wasn't getting along with them.

She then told me that she meant that she felt like she didn't belong in Japan. To this, I was taken aback. At the time of this story, they'd only been in Tokyo for 2 days or so. She then proceeded to describe how no matter how hard she would ever try to learn the language or the culture, she'd always never fully fit in. I felt she was being a bit pessimistic, but she did have a point.This led me to think of all of the stuff I read on these forums every day. This girl came here on a whim, and she decided it wasn't for her. She still feels that way today, and is now just waiting out the semester.

So I ask those of you who wish to pack your bags and move to Japan without ever stepping foot over here before; what makes you think you'll succeed? What makes you thing you'll enjoy your time, that you'll fit in? What is driving you so hard to come here? What if i doesn't meet your expectations?

Now, I don't want to seem unfair. I pledge similar questions to those who have made a life here in Japan. Why did you take the risk? Are you happy with the outcome? Was your choice naive?

In retrospect, my decision was naive. I'd never been to Japan, but I packed my bags and moved here. Luckily things worked out. But not everyone shares the same vigor. I'm now curious to hear your take.

[RealJames]

Maybe the better question is;
Do you want to belong and fit into the culture?

It's because I don't belong and I don't fit in that I do so well here.
It's because I don't belong and I don't fit in that my attempts to do so are very well accepted and even praised at times by those who seem to think it's harder to do than it really is.

Fitting in and belonging is way overrated imo.
You can make friends just the same, enjoy your life just the same.
If anything there's a huge lack of peer pressure etc if you decide to accept the role of "that person that doesn't quite fit in".

[WingsToDiscovery]

Originally Posted by RealJames

Maybe the better question is;
Do you want to belong and fit into the culture?

It's because I don't belong and I don't fit in that I do so well here.
It's because I don't belong and I don't fit in that my attempts to do so are very well accepted and even praised at times by those who seem to think it's harder to do than it really is.

Fitting in and belonging is way overrated imo.
You can make friends just the same, enjoy your life just the same.
If anything there's a huge lack of peer pressure etc if you decide to accept the role of "that person that doesn't quite fit in".

Eh, I don't know if that's the better question. I mean, it is a plausible one, but it doesn't really sum up what I'm curious about.

After one has accepted that they're different (which many people do prior coming to Japan, hence their attraction to it), I want to know why they think their life will be better in a society that they aren't from, especially if they've never even been there. What makes you not like your own home country so much that you think you'll thrive here? (or you don't have to not like your own country, but I see a lot of that).

[dogsbody70]

posted by WIngs. "In retrospect, my decision was naive. I'd never been to Japan, but I packed my bags and moved here. Luckily things worked out. But not everyone shares the same vigor. I'm now curious to hear your take."




HI WIngs are you planning to remain in Japan for a long time?

[dogsbody70]

maybe that girl was homesick and feeling totally out of her depth.

It must be a culture shock really.

[WingsToDiscovery]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

posted by WIngs. "In retrospect, my decision was naive. I'd never been to Japan, but I packed my bags and moved here. Luckily things worked out. But not everyone shares the same vigor. I'm now curious to hear your take."




HI WIngs are you planning to remain in Japan for a long time?

I haven't decided yet. My visa is good for a further 2 years, so I'll decide then. My biggest fear is losing my edge in the market in America by being over here, in the event that I decide to go home. I'm losing out on networking and establishment by being over here, unless I take up a job over here. All of the jobs will potentially be taken up by my peers.
I was already thinking this, but it was actually reaffirmed when I read a Japanese article a friend lent me describing the same thing happening to Japanese students studying abroad in the west, only to come back to no job opportunities and no connections.

[dogsbody70]

thanks well I wish you every success after all you have taken a gamble but sometimes gambles do work.

you will have had a unique experience and probably lots extra to offer compared to some of the American students. You took a risk but that can be good, shows that you are willing to Have a Go and explore new avenues.

[RealJames]

I imagine a lot of people don't feel like they fit in much more wherever they come from than they do in Japan.

[ModusOperandi]

Originally Posted by WingsToDiscovery

So I ask those of you who wish to pack your bags and move to Japan without ever stepping foot over here before; what makes you think you'll succeed? What makes you thing you'll enjoy your time, that you'll fit in? What is driving you so hard to come here? What if i doesn't meet your expectations?

It's simple really, you'll never really know until you do it...no matter if your initial interest in the country is realistic or not, you have to try it to come to a conclusion.

If you want to live in Japan, for whatever reason, then the only way you can gauge how well you'll manage to do so, is by doing it. Not by visiting the country, reading about it or watching it on t.v. You actually have to live there to be able to tell how well you'll be able to do in that country. Even if you're somehow guaranteed a stable and comfortable income, it is crucial to understand that living transcends financial capabilities.

It's just something you have to experience if you have the interest. It may work out for some, it may not for others and maybe some will have to adjust themselves and so on.

It happens no matter where it is you're planning to live.

[BondageFruit]

I can agree, the only way to experience something is to do so firsthand.

Honestly, I can't see myself ever doing much more than visiting Japan. I don't think I'd ever want to live there, honestly. Seems a bit too restrictive for my liking; I detest their gun politics.