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06-22-2007, 08:18 AM
It's good. Makes me see the images in my mind's eye. Really descriptive and good. Haha.
Looking up at the sun Feeling the heat beating down on my back It makes me feel alive Even for just that short while I can see the light Guiding Me JFの家族 Sister to Tsuzuki 
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06-22-2007, 03:56 PM
i LOVE it!!!!!
im a louisiana soilder rawrrrrr JOIN TODAY!!!!!!!!! wife of dreamyourworld  GrandDaughter of-Wolfrainvn daughter of-maku niece of-Fuu Nantena yamamato sister of-Marukyusu Kakashi Jo_Kittie himechan ToKyObOxRoBoT Aunt of-obscureLOVE cousin to-Rikku777 musashi Yuri Hisuwashi FANS!!! <333 animedude3
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06-23-2007, 05:39 AM
thank you..
i'm writting another one... but it's not so gorey... but if you could give me any ideas i'd be happy to write a sequal to this one... zakuro iro... toge wo sashite anata wa kieru 
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06-23-2007, 05:52 AM
It really good, sis!!! Write some more!!! like what happen after that!!!
You can treat this whole first story as the beginning of your vampire story, then explan it further about the life of Jonh as a vampire i guess, pretty much anything, like vampire power, seek his ultimate enime the vampire that killed his love etc... cann't hardly wait for more!!  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzFOR THOSE WHO BELEIVE THAT HEAVEN REALLY EXIST, THERE IS A WAY TO HEAVEN  My JF Family Brother of ToKyObOxRoBoT, Nightmare Cousin of Jo_Kittie Great Grand Father of lollijenn Uncle of Hentaro
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06-23-2007, 06:53 AM
thank you...but yeah i guess the first part could be about a vampire..but it's about a were wolf...
and i quote "thick wirey FUR" unquote good idea tho... zakuro iro... toge wo sashite anata wa kieru
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06-23-2007, 12:25 PM
okies peeps here is a taste of my novel...it's not gorey and I don't think it is as good as this one but you may not feel that way..if you love it tell meh if it's not that good tell me and even if it sucks major ass tell me...and if i could improve something tell me..
A Dream Only The Heart Can Follow By Miranda Tharpe (aka-Tokyo/box/Robot) "Call me tonight Sarah...ok?",said ,my best freind since sixth grade Amy Newhabe,after rumadging through her locker to find her science book.I stood beside her doing the same,except I had english this period.I replied with a simple,"Ok it will but after 4:30." "Why 4:30 Sarah?",she asked. "It's Friday I have practice with the band",I reminded her. "Oh yeah! that's right,now I feel like a dumbass.Oh well me and Megahn can go shopping".We started to walk to out classes when I truned and said,"Amy you look like one too".She turned to hit me but i moved to fast. Fifth and sixth period flew by like always,and I was filled with joy.Soon me and Amy could joke with Mr.C,our history teacher,as usual.We constantly pick at him and he will usually laugh and think of a snappy remark to throw us off track.We sat there and did our work and when we were finnished we cracked jokes on him like any other day.At the end of class I really did it.I drew a stick picture of him on his dry earse board that was givin his super hero name 'MOOSE MAN!' and his trusty sidekick 'Bullwinkle'.Everyone in class bursted out laughing and so did he. When the last bell rang at 2:45 everyone rushed out of class,got their things,and rushed to their modes of transport.While we were walking to our cars Katie came up to me and asked,"Are you still comming today?" I looked at her with a 'DUH' look on my face and said,"Yeah I'm comming,oh and if he gets there before I do tell Jamie he's gonna get it!" "Will do",she replied with a smirk,and she jogged to her car.As we reached the front doors Amy mumbled under her breath.Apearantly she was swearing because it was raining and she is so into her looks she makes Paris Hilton look normal,and that's bad."Ok so 4:30?",she asked."Yeah 4:30"."Ok talk to ya then",she said as she walked off. I sighed,"Shit,I like the rain but I don't want to get wet right now".I put my hood over my head and ran for my car.I opened the door and jumped inside.I grabed a cig from the half empty pack in the glove box and put it in my mouth,lit it,and inhaled.After a few seconds of enjoying it I put in my new Dir en grey cd that I ordered on the computer since American cd stores don't sell Japanese music unless it's big in America,and turned it to their song Cage,a recent favorite of mine.I turned on the egnition and drove off. It only took a few minutes to get to Katie's house but within seconds the rain became heavier and I became worried about Amy.She's a reckless driver and almost totaled her dad's car once.I let the thought leave my mind and sang with the music.Five minutes later I pulled my car into Katie's driveway.I saw my other bandmate's cars pulled up as well.I turned the car off and turned to get my things.I got out of the car and walked inside. When I stepped inside I saw the others sitting around the tv listening to the news.It said something about flash floods in the Miami area.I chose not to listen since we live in Georgia."Ok guys are we gonna practice or are you gonna sit there and gawk over Wendy the slutty anchor woman?".Jamie looked at me as if to say 'uhh yeah'."Get your asses up and let's practice",I told them.Katie barged in and said,"Yeah Sarah is right come on get up and let's practice".They got up.My bandmates are slackers,me and Katie are the only ones who do anything,Justin,Jamie,and Bryon are all slackers.Justin and Bryon are guitar,they know how to play they just don't want to show it they want me to help them out seeing as how they both have a major crush on me.Jamie is on bass,he's the Die of our band,he likes to tease everyone not just the youngest,Katie is on drums and she is the best girl drummer I've ever met (I'm not saying that just cuz she is in my band),and last but not least me,I'm the vocals,I played guitar in my last band but i left them and realized that i wanted to sing.We all set up as I told them to play our demo. After we practiced I realized it was after 5! I was stunned to see that Amy had not called me when I turned my purple Razr on.Just a voicemail from my ex.He being the nosey person he was asked me millions of questions,like always,when I called him to see what he wanted.The questions included his usual perverted ones like the infamous " So what are you wearing?"."Clothes. What'd you expect?",I snapped at him.He wouldn't give up though.He went on for 10 minutes until I hung up on him.I got in my car and called my dad to tell him that practice ran late and that I'd be home soon.He sounded clam.It wasn't like him,he would usually freak out if I was late and beat me when I got home for making him 'worry'.I sat there a minute to try and call Amy but there was no answer.I called her house phone.Her mom picked up and I asked,"Hi Miss Tracy,is Amy home?"."No hun she hasn't gotten home yet,but I'll tell her you called",she said in her nice mom stepford wife tone."Ok thank you",I told her and hung up.I started the car up and lit another cig,put in an older Dir en grey cd Missa,their first full length cd,and drove off.A few seconds later my phone rang and it was Justin.I picked it up and answered,"Yeah what do you want?",hardly paying attention I heard him ask me about chords and Bryon in the background tell him,"OO OO OO tell her I said 'hi'",being the dork that he is.I said in a nicely mean tone,"Why the hell are you calling me?!?! You already know how to play so why are you asking me?!?". He paused for a second ,clearly to think of something and then I heard Bryon snatch the phone away from him."Hi Sarah",he said."Hi Bryon.Why are you two calling me?" "Just to talk",he said again."Well I can't talk right now I'm driving"."Well ok we'll talk to you later then huh?",he asked."No Bryon you won't....",I paused and sighed "yeah sure Bryon I'll talk to you later".This time I was on speakerphone.They both asked in their 'serious' voice "What's wrong? You aren't yelling at us and calling us stupid fucks or telling us to fuck off like usual." "I'm just tired is all.",I told them but they saw through my attempts to get them to stop with the simpathy bit."Aw come on we know you better than that." Justin said bragingly."Is there someone else?",asked Bryon in a jokingly sad tone."Ugh give me a break",I told them."Please come over and talk it out with us.",they both asked."No way in hell",I said and hung up. On my way home I stopped by a local record store called Speaker Rape a weirdly perverse name for a record store but I'd never really been inside so I decided since my dad was in sich a good mood I'd make a short side stop.I called my dad."Dad? yeah my car has a flat so I'm gonna be a minute.A lie of course."Ok Sarah,but I think I should come and get you it's really about to pour down." "NO!" I almost yelled it into the phone."Well ok.Are you sure you can do it?" "Yes dad I can handle it just don't worry and I'll be home in a bit." "Ok hun.See you when you get home." He hung up and I looked at the phone as if I had gotten one of those calls from my friend Eric,who yells random things and hangs up.I forgot about the phone conversation and walked into the store. zakuro iro... toge wo sashite anata wa kieru
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