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Japanese raising - 01-14-2008, 09:06 PM

I plan on either adopting an Japanese child or going to an sprem bank. Since Im going to be the only parent and my hertiage is African American, I wonder how I would go about teaching the child about it's other half. I want both cultures to be in there lives and I admire the way Japanese parents raise there children. There values are much better in Japan then they are in the States.



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01-14-2008, 09:31 PM

Why do you not want to include a father in your child's life?
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01-14-2008, 09:52 PM

Yes and no, me and my boyfriend plan on getting married. The child will have a father but it will not be her biological father and he's African American like me so he's clueless as well on the matter.



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01-18-2008, 03:02 AM

Let me just ask point blank - What, other than selfishness, is your reason for wanting a "Japanese" child?

If you want a biological child, then have a biological child. If you want to adopt and give a child a home, adopt a child in need.

Unless you are part Japanese, which you say you aren`t, there is no reason other than selfishness to pick and choose based on nationality.


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01-18-2008, 03:27 AM

Yeah this is wierd.

You don't want a child, you want an accessory. Buy a new belt or a pair of shoes and get over it.
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01-18-2008, 03:35 AM

If you or your husband isn't Japanese, there won't be "both cultures" in her life. She will be raised as an American, and that's the only culture there will be.
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01-18-2008, 08:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MMM View Post
If you or your husband isn't Japanese, there won't be "both cultures" in her life. She will be raised as an American, and that's the only culture there will be.
yes, exactly. if you want to adopt, adopt a child in the US. there are thousands of needy children in your own country that need help. i'm not saying there aren't any in japan, but imagine the awkward hardship your child will go through having you as parents. black parents and an asian child...? thats why most families adopt the same race.

and if you're not japanese, your child will be raised like an american because you are american. i find it unfair that you will adopt a japanese child and not knowing japanese language or culture, try to raise this child. its like youre stripping your child of their heritage.


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01-18-2008, 05:43 PM

There's more reason to that then what im letting on. Ever since 5th grade when I found out my teacher adopted an asian child, I was intrigue. I asked her why and she told my why she did. So maybe going to the sperm bank is selfishness, but what about the gay people who do it? I am Bi, so that does not mean me and my boyfriend will stay togather forever. If I end up with a woman and I feel like I want to get married to her, then we want kids we will go to the sperm bank. Just because I want to add to my kids culture does not mean, im doing something wrong. If you feel that way, then pretty much everyone on this forum is wrong, everyone is basically here to learn or become more Japanese like.



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01-19-2008, 02:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kal3ido View Post
There's more reason to that then what im letting on. Ever since 5th grade when I found out my teacher adopted an asian child, I was intrigue. I asked her why and she told my why she did. So maybe going to the sperm bank is selfishness, but what about the gay people who do it? I am Bi, so that does not mean me and my boyfriend will stay togather forever. If I end up with a woman and I feel like I want to get married to her, then we want kids we will go to the sperm bank. Just because I want to add to my kids culture does not mean, im doing something wrong. If you feel that way, then pretty much everyone on this forum is wrong, everyone is basically here to learn or become more Japanese like.
I'm sorry but that's f-cked up. Having a child is totally different. First off I disagree with some of the other posts saying that you have no place adopting a child of another culture. But it's your REASONS for doing so that are messed up. People don't want Asian babies because they're Asian (unless the couple are Asian then most agencies will probably shoot you down if you ask specifically for an Asian baby), they want a child and the kid they get just happens to be Asian. I've heard of people feeling bad about situations in developing countries also who decide to adopt an orphaned child from there. There is nothing wrong with that also. In fact I think that's noble.

Your reasons are totally stupid though. You want a Japanese child because you want an accessory. Unlike my healthy interest in the Japanese culture which is based on wanting to learn a foreign language (truth be told it could've been any foriegn language, I took a stab in the dark when deciding on my language paper at uni), if I EVER decide that I'm sick of it I can give it up. When the novelty of having an Asian kid wears off however, you'll still be stuck with a kid.
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01-19-2008, 04:42 AM

That's your opinion. I see nothing wrong with fusing your favorite culture with something you love. Every parent pretty much lives through there children. So if I can't do it, I will want my children to be able to do it. If I can not visit Japan, then they will, if I can not learn Japanese then I would like them to learn. So when im old they can tell me all about that. If I wanted an accessory, then I would just sleep with anyone to get what I want.



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