I'm only 18 but I'm already worrying about parenting... Will I be a good mother?

[Paul11]

Originally Posted by Hellkite

You are right. No one is perfect. But you could try with effort to be a good mother! And you will see, if you really love your children, you would also sacrifice yourself for them. Thats actually the parents duty, to love their children so much, and not just a duty, they shall enjoy loving their kids soo much! You must love children, then you will be the best mother ever!

That was a wierd message. Kinda creepy. Try not loving soooooo much, eh!

[Hellkite]

Originally Posted by Paul11

That was a wierd message. Kinda creepy. Try not loving soooooo much, eh!

Erm? Why not? This is natural to sacrife yourself for your children, f really necessary.

[Paul11]

Originally Posted by Hellkite

Erm? Why not? This is natural to sacrife yourself for your children, f really necessary.

I completely agree with you and do just that for my family. I was teasing you a bit.

[Hellkite]

Originally Posted by Paul11

I completely agree with you and do just that for my family. I was teasing you a bit.

Oh, lol. Ok. Hahaha. i see. I mean, who would not do that? I would do so for sure, if i would have my own family.

[Hackimoto]

You can be as hard as you want on the kids(to a point of course), it won't hurt them. As long as you think of them before yourself and don't allow your emotions to control your actions. Parenting is pretty hard, but the trick is just to try and see things from their point of view sometimes. My son is a very terrible child, but a lot of it is just because he doesn't get out of the house enough and do fun things so he doesn't have enough incentive to behave. You just have to remember that kids are just little tiny people. They have the same feelings you do. You may have to be stern to get them to do the right things, and they may get mad at you a lot but they'll get over it(sometimes within the next few minutes). And the most imortant thing is to not be afraid to ask for help. Your parents raised you(right?) so they should know a thing or two. Another thing is they will probably take after you, so the better you know yourself the better you can figure out how to deal with your kids.(sort of like when they say 'know yourself, not your enemy' or some Art of War kind of stuff)

[Eidrib]

Originally Posted by masaegu

Huh? Do show us your source.

I live in Japan and there are news reports of children killing their parents almost every month, and the cause is always due to children thinking that their parents are being too hard on them. I'm not exaggerating. (e.g. ”最近の子供が親を殺したというニュースでは...”　fro m http://aurasoul.mb2.jp/_nws/k118.html) I myself almost killed my mom even when she loved me because she was so strict and didn't let me argue against her and I hated her. Is that enough evidence?

Originally Posted by Hackimoto

You just have to remember that kids are just little tiny people.

I appreciate it that you put your time into your answer but it's not really convincing for me... when children grow up they're not little tiny people anymore... they have the ability, physically, to disobey or harm parents... I am afraid of that... and even children that seem good from the outside can be planning something very evil... I know that this happens because I've seen the news...

[Hellkite]

Originally Posted by Eidrib

I live in Japan and there are news reports of children killing their parents almost every month, and the cause is always due to children thinking that their parents are being too hard on them. I'm not exaggerating. (e.g. ”最近の子供が親を殺したというニュースでは...”　fro m http://aurasoul.mb2.jp/_nws/k118.html) I myself almost killed my mom even when she loved me because she was so strict and didn't let me argue against her and I hated her. Is that enough evidence?

Ok. Look. Thats useless. Stuff. You will not be like her. You will be a grat mother, believe me that! Just follow some advice i gave you. And your motherfeelings will evolve time by time.
You must be strict for sure, but you will see after a short time, how strict you shall be, that your children just learn respect, and that you do not torture them. You will find out many things, after your kids are born, trust me. Because you have a special connection to your children then, both of you will feel.

[Paul11]

Originally Posted by Hellkite

Ok. Look. Thats useless. Stuff. You will not be like her. You will be a grat mother, believe me that! Just follow some advice i gave you. And your motherfeelings will evolve time by time.
You must be strict for sure, but you will see after a short time, how strict you shall be, that your children just learn respect, and that you do not torture them. You will find out many things, after your kids are born, trust me. Because you have a special connection to your children then, both of you will feel.

You've never raised children. it's not as simple as you make it sound. A simple dose of love doesn't just fix everything.

[Hellkite]

Originally Posted by Paul11

You've never raised children. it's not as simple as you make it sound. A simple dose of love doesn't just fix everything.

I know! But i have seen so many mistakes my parents have done, and so many good things some other families do. thats why i know some things about raising children, and by the way, i also want children once.

[Salvanas]

This is rather odd.

- A sixteen year old giving an eighteen year old advice about parenting.
- A sixteen year old and Eighteen year old thinking about marrying the current person they are with and also thinking about parenthood.
- Apparently, children only kill their mothers in Japan.

Here's some of my advice, coming from a seventeen year old boy. Take it how you want to.

1: You both have a long way to grow up before you become parents or get married. You should finish the more important things in life before starting a family. Like fully becoming an adult. It's abit early.

2: A sixteen year old cannot give proper advice on being a mother.

3: Children killing their parents happen everywhere. Not just in Japan.

Now for the advice.

I'm not a father, nor am I a mother. And I don't plan to be one until I'm in my late twenties. But the key to being a good mother or father is this: .

Saw nothing there? That's because there is no special way on how to be a good parent. It's not a strategy game, nor is there some special cheat that'll tell you how to do it.

Being a parent isn't easy. You have to weigh your beliefs against your partner, and come to an agreement between you two. Then you have to be attuned to your childs needs.

IT all depends on you. Your personality. Your appearance. Your beliefs.

Now stop worrying about such things at that age and live your life.