I'm only 18 but I'm already worrying about parenting... Will I be a good mother?

Eidrib · (#1 (**permalink**))

Hi...

I'm planning to marry my current lover in about a decade (lol)... I dream of living with him and raising our children and living happily... but I'm excessively worried that I might not be a good mom... I worry about it and cry about it all day because I'm such a crybaby and I'm so clumsy... also I know that people learn from their own parents what they shouldn't do to their own child because they know how it feels... yet still children are annoyed or upset by what their parents do...

I'm so lost because if you scold children they will hate you (and even kill you, like it happens a lot in Japan) and if you let them play they will become spoiled... and I myself, I'm such a crybaby but still I really want to have a child... will I ever be a good mother? I don't believe that taking parenting lessons alone won't make me a good mother...

Sob. Please help.

Henbaka · (#2 (**permalink**))

If you're a good person I don't think you will fail as a parent.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eidrib

and even kill you, like it happens a lot in Japan

Oh come on...

PS. Wrong forum?

Hellkite · (#3 (**permalink**))

Hello! I see your problem! My name is reza, i am 16. I already dream now of having a wonderful family with children. Look. You must spend time with your kids. So, you should quit your job, if you do one. Your job is then being a housewife. You shall always listen to your kids, and talk with them a lot. And care for them, when they are ill. And your husband will help you anyway. In a marriage you spend all time together, and part your jobs at home. So, you will both care for your kids. And if this makes you happy, to be married and to have children and to do housework for your family, if this really makes you happy, you will be a perfect mother and wife. Trust me!

Eidrib · (#4 (**permalink**))

Thanks for your warmhearted reply... but in Japan, once you quit a job, it's extremely difficult to get another one. If something happens to my hubby (in hospital, die of illness or accident) I must be able to support our children financially and I can't do this without continuing my job. So there we go, that's another one in my list of problems... I'm so confused.

Hellkite · (#5 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eidrib

Thanks for your warmhearted reply... but in Japan, once you quit a job, it's extremely difficult to get another one. If something happens to my hubby (in hospital, die of illness or accident) I must be able to support our children financially and I can't do this without continuing my job. So there we go, that's another one in my list of problems... I'm so confused.

Ok. Look. At first, your husband should look for another job, if his one is dangerous! And then you should quit your job. And believe me, it is best so. here it is the same, hard to get a good job, if you quitted yours, but not impossible, and believe me, you wont need one. Your children and your housework are your job now. And why should your husband not earn enough money? My mother did not give up her job when i was born, she continued. And when i was born, she did not keep me, she put me for 2 weeks in such a box, with all the other babies. And my father stayed at home for me 3 years then. And thats why i will never have such a strong connection to her. So, do not do this mistake, and also keep your baby by your side, if it is born. My mother did not do this, because she needed her sleep she said. Wrong!!! So, listen. If you wanna know more about how everything evolved in my family, feel free to ask. I will tell you. No problem.

masaegu · (#6 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eidrib

I'm so lost because if you scold children they will hate you (and even kill you, like it happens a lot in Japan) and if you let them play they will become spoiled...

Huh? Do show us your source.

Paul11 · (#7 (**permalink**))

All parents make mistakes, even when they love thier children more than life itself. It's still about survival. How do you measure success? You put all your eggs in one basket and trust in God.

Hellkite · (#8 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul11

All parents make mistakes, even when they love thier children more than life itself. It's still about survival. How do you measure success? You put all your eggs in one basket and trust in God.

You are right. No one is perfect. But you could try with effort to be a good mother! And you will see, if you really love your children, you would also sacrifice yourself for them. Thats actually the parents duty, to love their children so much, and not just a duty, they shall enjoy loving their kids soo much! You must love children, then you will be the best mother ever!

Henbaka · (#9 (**permalink**))

Look. Basically I believe the "bad" parents wouldn't (didn't) worry about being a good parent so much.

Hellkite · (#10 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Henbaka

Look. Basically I believe the "bad" parents wouldn't (didn't) worry about being a good parent so much.

hm...? yes. maybe. but she has the right to worry. thats why i help her a lot. having a family with children is the best thing in world!! what do you want more than a healthy family, you can care for?

and her mother feelings will anyway evolve time by time.