Child Adoption

[Uxintatei]

I posted this thread to get POLITE feedback on what it's like on raising a child in Japan
You are not polite
If you don't like what we're talking about, then you don't need to read it
And if your friends did post a thread on their subject and wanted to talk to other Japanese parents, I wouldn't post because I am not that
I am trying to get educated on everything so my switch from America to Japan will be as smooth as possible
But you are rude and I do not appreciate that

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by Uxintatei

I posted this thread to get POLITE feedback on what it's like on raising a child in Japan
You are not polite
If you don't like what we're talking about, then you don't need to read it
And if your friends did post a thread on their subject and wanted to talk to other Japanese parents, I wouldn't post because I am not that
I am trying to get educated on everything so my switch from America to Japan will be as smooth as possible
But you are rude and I do not appreciate that

I`m sorry, but I have not said anything that I believed was rude at all.
This is the way I always write. I apologize if that seems rude to you. It`s just my writing style. In fact, I thought I was being very light in tone.

I usually just try to add facts to discussions. It is a fact that Japanese children are not up for adoption in Japan, let alone outside Japan. It is a fact that babies do not scream all the time. It is also a fact that the worst screaming and fits happen between 3 and 5.
I`m sorry if those facts aren`t convenient for you, but that`s life.

[Uxintatei]

Like I said, every child is different, therefore so are people's experiences
I would not like a child that is 2 and under, because of the diapers, teething, crying, and screaming
My experience is that children that are 4 and above, are to mostly whine then anything else, which I can handle
They are also capable of comprehending discipline and manners better than a child of 2 and under.

[pandayanyan]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I`m sorry, but I have not said anything that I believed was rude at all.
This is the way I always write. I apologize if that seems rude to you. It`s just my writing style. In fact, I thought I was being very light in tone.

I usually just try to add facts to discussions. It is a fact that Japanese children are not up for adoption in Japan, let alone outside Japan. It is a fact that babies do not scream all the time. It is also a fact that the worst screaming and fits happen between 3 and 5.
I`m sorry if those facts aren`t convenient for you, but that`s life.

It isnt about the facts the facts are helpful its the demeaning tone that has nothing to do with your "writing style" You need to chill this is getting out of hand and your derogitory comments are more than a little mean... you can preach your belief on children and life all you want just do it in a way that isnt rude

[Uxintatei]

Agreed
Now, meditation time! ^^

[pandayanyan]

*breathes deeply* ok so back to Japanese children..

Have you ever given thought to what kind of school you will send your adopted child to or what city in Japan you will live in?

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by Uxintatei

Like I said, every child is different, therefore so are people's experiences
I would not like a child that is 2 and under, because of the diapers, teething, crying, and screaming
My experience is that children that are 4 and above, are to mostly whine then anything else, which I can handle
They are also capable of comprehending discipline and manners better than a child of 2 and under.

I understand what you are saying... What I am trying to explain is that a lot of that is a misperception. I`m not simply speaking from experience with my own child. (Who is 2, and would be considered an exception anyway because he`s not at all normal to begin with.)
What I am speaking from is my experience as a child developmental specialist. Keeping misperceptions about what is normal with a child only causes problems later on when things don`t (naturally) go as you would expect.

And that`s not even mentioning the incredibly large number of problems inherent to adoption after a certain age.

Either way - and I don`t mean this is a rude way - but what does your dream of adopting a Japanese child have to do with actually parenting in Japan? If you were *asking* about parenting in Japan, that would be one thing. But you`re just telling everyone about your dream... Which is fine and all, but it has nothing to do with actually raising a child in Japan.

[Uxintatei]

I would like to live in Osaka
And when the time comes, I'll research on the schools there to make sure I pick the best one
I want to know the child first before I decide what school to put her in
And if I'm with anybody it will also be their decision
EDIT: I've told people what I want to do, which is adopt a Japanese girl, so I could get information on the schools, good towns and cities that are child friendly, things like that.

[pandayanyan]

Yeah that is true you need to have a feel for what your life is like beofre you can make those big decisions i guess...

BTW: I like the choiuce for the name though very meaningful and pretty.

[Uxintatei]

Yep.
And thank you.
A good friend of mine was named that and I'd like to name my child that in her honor, I didn't know what it meant until I looked it up a few weeks ago.