My mum has issues with my boyfriend.

[Bureda]

Originally Posted by sarah22

I'v been with my boyfriend for at least 5 or 6 months now. Of course I'm 16 and its only natural for a mum to worry. But its to the point were she doesn't want me any were near him and even in the beginning she refused to meet him unless it was serious enough. I get the feeling... its more of a knowing, that she has a problem with him being vietnamese. It might sound silly but I think were in love and breaking up over this just isn't an option.

sarah

What I don't get is you're Aussies, living in a land that time forgot and is one of the most diversified countries out there. Lots of Asians.

How did you come to the conclusion that she's racist and not just over protective of you.

[hideki11]

You're still immature enough to know the meaning of love. You're parents know already what's right or wrong. Even people who are grown up still have some mistakes in life where they are hurt.

[OsakaPapa]

Honestly, I would outright ask her what she doesn't like about him, and why this thing she doesn't like so strong that she wants you to break up with him. If you find that she can't really give you a legitimate reason why she doesn't like him (such as something related to his personality, behavior, etc.), then it really might be because she is racist. I dunno how direct you'd want to be in confronting her about it, but if she can't give you real answer, personally, I would ask her flat out if she doesn't like him because he's Vietnamese?

I have a friend who's in a similar situation, just in reverse. Her Vietnamese boyfriend's mother doesn't her because she's white. She's having a hard time dealing with his mother because she is so closeminded, but hopefully your mom isn't as bad as his

[sarah22]

How I know this is to do with him being asian is that she told me, "I don't mind you being with him but as long as you don't marry him or anything. I don't want asian grandchildren." And I do apologise if that has offended anyone, as I was deeply offended myself when I heard those words.
I love my mum because she is my mum. I don't like to be put in that situation but eventually I will be old enough to stand on my own two feet. Until then I can only hold on and if he really does love me the way I love him then his patience with me will not fade. BTW, from what I heard his mum wasn't exactly jumping for joy when she found out I was white either but that doesn't really worry me much.
You would think that this kind of thing would'nt be a problem in Australia but my mum's side of the family is, I guess you could say a little judgement. But if I'm the person to teach them something about life then so be it. In which case I will not only be holding on for my love for him but the sake of widening the perspective those close to me.
thank you all who took the time to assist me in thinking this over as you have great help and it is deeply appreciated.
Sarah

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by sarah22

How I know this is to do with him being asian is that she told me, "I don't mind you being with him but as long as you don't marry him or anything. I don't want asian grandchildren." And I do apologise if that has offended anyone, as I was deeply offended myself when I heard those words.
I love my mum because she is my mum. I don't like to be put in that situation but eventually I will be old enough to stand on my own two feet. Until then I can only hold on and if he really does love me the way I love him then his patience with me will not fade. BTW, from what I heard his mum wasn't exactly jumping for joy when she found out I was white either but that doesn't really worry me much.
You would think that this kind of thing would'nt be a problem in Australia but my mum's side of the family is, I guess you could say a little judgement. But if I'm the person to teach them something about life then so be it. In which case I will not only be holding on for my love for him but the sake of widening the perspective those close to me.
thank you all who took the time to assist me in thinking this over as you have great help and it is deeply appreciated.
Sarah

You seem to have a healthy approach to this situation in my opinion.

Good luck with your family and your relationship

[Katja]

Hey Sarah 22!
I understand your situation quite well! My Mum is like your Mum. "Why does he have to be Japanese? I don't wanna have half-Japanese grandchildren!" Sounds quite familiar, doesn't it? It is a really hard situation, for you even more than for me. I am already studying in another city and my boyfriend is living in Japan, so my family doesn't have so much influence on me anymore. But you are still young, so your mum might be thinking your relationship is like 'kid's first love play'. Even my mum is thinking that and I am 21!
It must be very hard for you, but if you really love that guy, you should decide for yourself! You seem mature enough to me to handle that situation quite well.
Wish you good luck!

[Blac]

i dont know how a mother thinks nor how a woman love
but have you ever considered how the guy feels

if i were the guy would want my girlfriend to face your kind of problem
partly because i think it would be troublesome or i just dont wanna have
the guilt later on when things didnt work out.
at least thats what my mind tells me
but unfortunately never did it lol(my gf and i are dating for 4 years now since she was 14 and me 17, we still have problem with her family)

if you BOTH think you have something special i think you should not give it up over family pressure.

being young is not even an issue but an advantage how many people find their significant other at young age. my final word is just take it slow you still have lots of time for each other

[pumpum]

aww You only really have one option..

Kill your mother.

[AAres]

Originally Posted by pumpum

aww You only really have one option..

Kill your mother.

or tell her: "And why did you have children, they where born half stupid."
(ofc a rude joke, does'nt mean sarah22 is stupid)

Just talk to your mom, sould in the end be okey. Or dig in her history and find something she did ^^ allways works.

[taro]

put yourself on your mom's position and sincerely think what would you do to your sixteen year daughter having an affair. of course world will be much different when you are a mom of a sixteen year old.