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StangGuy (Offline)
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12-15-2008, 06:56 AM

Here are some observations from my time in the Japanese dating pool as a white guy. I hope you find some of it helpful.

1.) Unless a Japanese woman has a ring on her finger or is in a very long term relationship she isn't taken. Ask her if she is single and she will say "yes" unless she is married. And If she just has a boyfriend or is dating a guy chances are she will have no problems with going on a "date" date and not just going out for a drink after work.

2.) Unless she knows how old you are allready she probably thinks you are around 30. I can't count how many times a person asked how old I was and then was suprised when I told them I was only 24. The reactions from women in there late 20's or early 30's depended on how well I knew them before they found out my age. Generally, the better we knew each other before she found out my age the less she cared I was younger.

3.) If she has a boyfriend absolutely keep any overtures towards her discreet. From my talking with locals the approach to relationships, dating, and sex is "If you didn't see it, it didn't happen and if you only saw it by accident, it didn't happen either" I think this explains the willingness to date multiple people. If you are in a restaurant or bar that your coworkers and friends don't frequent but for some reason they see you there they won't say anything. On the other hand if you are in a popular club and are spotted together expect something to be said.

4.) 1.) and 3.) have an interesting interaction when it comes to the boyfriend. If for some reason he sees the two of you together and it can't be easily explained any chance you had with her is gone. Because of this I would suggest that any early dates be going out after work and try to bring another friend or coworker with you. Another way to maintain the "just coworkers" cover is to mention that you would like to eat some strange type of food eg. whale, that you can't get back home and she might suggest going out and to a restraunt together.
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ZedKnightly (Offline)
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12-15-2008, 07:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by StangGuy View Post
Here are some observations from my time in the Japanese dating pool as a white guy. I hope you find some of it helpful.

1.) Unless a Japanese woman has a ring on her finger or is in a very long term relationship she isn't taken. Ask her if she is single and she will say "yes" unless she is married. And If she just has a boyfriend or is dating a guy chances are she will have no problems with going on a "date" date and not just going out for a drink after work.

2.) Unless she knows how old you are allready she probably thinks you are around 30. I can't count how many times a person asked how old I was and then was suprised when I told them I was only 24. The reactions from women in there late 20's or early 30's depended on how well I knew them before they found out my age. Generally, the better we knew each other before she found out my age the less she cared I was younger.

3.) If she has a boyfriend absolutely keep any overtures towards her discreet. From my talking with locals the approach to relationships, dating, and sex is "If you didn't see it, it didn't happen and if you only saw it by accident, it didn't happen either" I think this explains the willingness to date multiple people. If you are in a restaurant or bar that your coworkers and friends don't frequent but for some reason they see you there they won't say anything. On the other hand if you are in a popular club and are spotted together expect something to be said.

4.) 1.) and 3.) have an interesting interaction when it comes to the boyfriend. If for some reason he sees the two of you together and it can't be easily explained any chance you had with her is gone. Because of this I would suggest that any early dates be going out after work and try to bring another friend or coworker with you. Another way to maintain the "just coworkers" cover is to mention that you would like to eat some strange type of food eg. whale, that you can't get back home and she might suggest going out and to a restraunt together.
wow. thanks for sharing me the data you have gathered, mate. hehe. too bad im no white guy.. dont have the advantages here with girls like u guys do.. : (

im filipino.

Anyways,
So even if i know she is in a relationship, if she aint wearing a ring, then its all good..? are you basing it on tokyo women, by any chance?
cause im here in ibaraki. hehe. might be a little different with the girls here im afraid. but i dont know.

ive yet to try and ask her to go out with me. dont exactly know how to ask her. hahah.


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Keaton421 (Offline)
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12-15-2008, 07:36 AM

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Originally Posted by StangGuy View Post
1.) Unless a Japanese woman has a ring on her finger or is in a very long term relationship she isn't taken. Ask her if she is single and she will say "yes" unless she is married. And If she just has a boyfriend or is dating a guy chances are she will have no problems with going on a "date" date and not just going out for a drink after work.
If she's that kind of woman, you won't want to make a long-term relationship out of that. I'd say this is true of a lot of women in urban areas, and in my experience Japanese girls are much more faithful than their western counterparts.

I hope you can make an honorable relationship with her, not something based on deceit where you're a boy-toy on the side.


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12-15-2008, 08:17 AM

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Originally Posted by Keaton421 View Post
If she's that kind of woman, you won't want to make a long-term relationship out of that. I'd say this is true of a lot of women in urban areas, and in my experience Japanese girls are much more faithful than their western counterparts.

I hope you can make an honorable relationship with her, not something based on deceit where you're a boy-toy on the side.
"Can"

you used the right word my man. hehe. i hope i can.
any tips on how to pop the question?


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12-15-2008, 08:22 AM

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12-15-2008, 08:25 AM

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Originally Posted by Keaton421 View Post
My girlfriend said many Japanese men are taught the Samurai way of being with a woman: love her, but don't show it too much. If she's interested in you, be a gentleman and she'll melt like butter. It'll be a shock to her system and I can almost guarantee she'll love it.
So your saying to show your love vs. the Samurai way which doesn't? And would you mind giving some examples as I have been out of the "scene" for a while.


Car of the day: Gumpert Apollo
Bike of the day: Kawasaki ZX-6R
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Quote of the day: "If you utter so much as one syllable ILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH.......if you'd like to fax me, press the star key." the Grinch from The Grinch that stole Christmas
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12-15-2008, 08:30 AM

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Originally Posted by ZedKnightly View Post
"Can"

you used the right word my man. hehe. i hope i can.
any tips on how to pop the question?
Be casual, and above all, confident. Confidence is job one. Body language is important, so don't stand over her when she's sitting at her desk, kinda seems like you're her boss.



"Yeah hiiiii..."

When y'all get a short break and you're both standing, something like "What are you doing later?" Go from there.


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12-15-2008, 08:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keaton421 View Post
Be casual, and above all, confident. Confidence is job one. Body language is important, so don't stand over her when she's sitting at her desk, kinda seems like you're her boss.



"Yeah hiiiii..."

When y'all get a short break and you're both standing, something like "What are you doing later?" Go from there.
confidence huh..

u do know, that chances are pretty slim for me, as she is in a relationship?
sigh..
well i guess ill just have to muster all courage i can find before attempting then..


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Keaton421 (Offline)
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12-15-2008, 09:09 AM

If you can't be confident in the situation (and most people couldn't), be confident in your appearance, attitude, yourself. Just act confident, even if you're nervous.


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failed - 12-15-2008, 09:10 AM

official office time is over. 5:30.

she was cleaning her mug in the pantry when i approached with my orange juice...

but when i was there, i failed to strike a conversation.

not even a hi..

was too nervous.

damn cant believe this is happening to me.
ive done this before but this still happens.


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