Insecurities while in a relationship

caisaki · (#1 (**permalink**))

I have been with the same guy for two years. In fact, this is the first time that I had a long-term relationship with anyone. But sometimes, I see him look at others in a way that reminds me when he was still courting me. Does that mean that he's not serious anymore? Because I'm getting insecure around other women when he looks at them that way.

SHAD0W · (#2 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by caisaki

I have been with the same guy for two years. In fact, this is the first time that I had a long-term relationship with anyone. But sometimes, I see him look at others in a way that reminds me when he was still courting me. Does that mean that he's not serious anymore? Because I'm getting insecure around other women when he looks at them that way.

As long as he only looks at the menu and doesn't make an order then whats your problem?

How old are you both?

caisaki · (#3 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by SHAD0W

As long as he only looks at the menu and doesn't make an order then whats your problem?

How old are you both?

We're already 21 years old.. Yes, I already told myself that there's nothing wrong with that, but he seems a bit cold sometimes. That usually happens when there are a lot of people around.

Tyrien · (#4 (**permalink**))

People instinctively look at others all the time. Part of what makes us humans is how we're constantly observing others in society. A huge part of that is looking at other people's bodies. It's not something that just turns off when you enter a relationship. To try and force such behavior his harmful to a relationship.

Who does he go home with?

nobora · (#5 (**permalink**))

I see what you mean. You don't want him to look at another person because you fear that he will leave you. But its ok to look just as long as you dont touch. Hes with you right? And im sure he cares about you too. Just try and have fun with him. Go out to a movie maybe then he will stop being so cold to you.

caisaki · (#6 (**permalink**))

Thanks for your replies. I guess I just over reacted. Yeah, a movie sounds really great right now..Maybe I'll ask him to watch Karate Kid with me.

dogsbody70 · (#7 (**permalink**))

hello

It will be wise not to worry so much-- It is human nature to look at others and the worst thing for you is to be too scared or possessive with him. That is the quickest way to lose somebody.

Of course if he seems too interested in someone else then maybe you should see how your combined relationship is. There has to be trust in a loving relationship. How does He react when you look at others?

None of us own anyone-- there always needs to be real trust and freedom if the relationship is to survive.

both of you need a chance to do your own thing apart from sharing things that you both enjoy. Babs in UK.

TalnSG · (#8 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by caisaki

I have been with the same guy for two years. In fact, this is the first time that I had a long-term relationship with anyone. But sometimes, I see him look at others in a way that reminds me when he was still courting me. Does that mean that he's not serious anymore? Because I'm getting insecure around other women when he looks at them that way.

Perhaps he is considering options. It happens. But the important thing to remember is that even if that was what was happening, he considered the options and again chose you. In some ways that is much better than having a guy stay with you just because of a comfortable habit.

Neffiline · (#9 (**permalink**))

Like many others have said, it's normal to look at others, perhaps to you it seems like a lot because YOU don't look at other guys as much as he seems to look at other girls, right? I know how you feel, I feel like this sometimes too. When I'm in a relationship, often I forget about any other guys on the street, I don't see them go by even if they look like David Beckham. Lol

I spoke to my boyfriend about checking out other girls and he said exactly what everyone here has said: "I'm with you! It's next to you I sleep at night!" So, I remind myself of that when I'm insecure.

If it feels cold between you guys, suggest an activity you can do just the two of you, or simply go up to him for a hug or to cuddle. Sometimes guys don't notice the little details or how you're feeling if you don't speak up. When I feel it's awkward between my boyfriend and I, I move closer and cuddle up to me. Instantly he puts his arms around me and then aallll is fine. Haha! Good luck~